(Clearwisdom.net) I was chosen as coordinator for a Falun Dafa project about a year ago, which created a great deal of pressure. Since I have been studying the Fa diligently for a long time, it was not difficult for me to pass many tests and resolve a lot of conflicts. At the time I was reading two Zhuan Falun lectures each day. I also read the Fa with another practitioner for four to five hours once a week. After studying the Fa, I felt that my mind was clear and my body transparent.
As a coordinator however, my workload increased exponentially and I no longer found the time for intensive Fa study, and rarely had time to read two lectures per day. When I failed to study the Fa well my xinxing level lowered. As a result, when sharing with practitioners I sometimes could not accept others' views, and whenever my opinion wasn't accepted, I grumbled a lot and didn't behave like a practitioner. Although I knew that I was in the wrong, I just couldn't change.
After Teacher's "Fa Teaching Given at the 2011 Washington DC Metro Area Fa Conference" was published, I thought that one paragraph especially applied to me,
“This is especially true with Fa-study: you really need to study the Fa with utter seriousness. Do you know what has become of Fa-study in many places? In some areas it has lapsed into a formality. When some people read Zhuan Falun they are not concentrating, but rather, thinking about other things, and not able to focus their attention on cultivation. It thus amounts to wasting time. And not just wasting time—instead of it being the time when they are to be elevating, they are using their minds to think over issues and things that they shouldn’t concern themselves with, and thus, not only aren’t they elevating, but on the contrary, they are often dropping in level. If you don’t study the Fa well, there are many things you will not be able to do well.” ("Dafa Disciples Must Study the Fa")
I was therefore determined to return to studying the Fa-study diligently and calming my mind. I studied the new article more than ten times and felt that Teacher had explained many Fa principles more clearly. It seemed that my mind had opened up and I had gained a better understanding about the origin of human thoughts.
One day I made a suggestion when talking with another coordinator. Since my tone was not that kind, the practitioner criticized me. Although I was very angry, by looking inward, I realized that my tone was not kind, so I kept sending forth the righteous thoughts to eliminate my anger. I gradually calmed down, but I did not really let go of my anger. Not long after, that practitioner came to share with me. I became again angry and I wanted to argue with him.
I then thought of a paragraph in Teacher's new article,
“I was only talking about the origin of human thoughts. There is something I have observed during the Fa-rectification: in dimensions where the Fa-rectification has yet to arrive, sometimes when a Dafa disciple’s thoughts are quite righteous, there is a righteous god or righteous elements present, serving to reinforce his righteous thoughts. Then at other times, when Dafa disciples do not cooperate well, or get angry and lose their temper, I can see that certain degenerate beings, some of which are rather large, are present, adding to it; and also at work are those layers upon layers of bad beings at various lower levels that [the practitioners’ thoughts] have aligned with. Haven’t I taught that people have both a good and bad side?” (“Dafa Disciples Must Study the Fa”)
Teacher had talked about that topic before, but it seemed that this time his words opened another window in my mind. I understood that whenever my righteous thoughts were not strong my thoughts could be controlled by the unrighteous factors from other dimensions. When my thoughts were interfered with, I said things that I didn't intend to say. I didn't notice that and thought that these words were my own thoughts.
Upon realizing that, I said to that practitioner, “We fell into the trap set by the degenerated forces and we should not spend any more time or effort on the issue. It will only make us deviate even further.”
It was time to send righteous thoughts and we sent forth the righteous thoughts. I continuously eliminated my unrighteous thoughts and all of a sudden a paragraph of the Fa Teacher taught us appeared in my mind. Teacher said,
“Don’t argue left and right, and don’t emphasize who’s right and who’s wrong. Some people are always stressing that they’re right, but even if you are right, even if you’re not wrong, so what? Have you improved on the basis of the Fa? The very act of using human thinking to stress who’s right and who’s wrong is in itself wrong. That’s because you are then using the logic of ordinary people to evaluate yourself, and using that logic to make demands on others. As gods see it, for a cultivator to be right or wrong in the human world is not important in the least, whereas eliminating the attachments that come from human thinking is important, and it is precisely your managing to eliminate those attachments rooted in your human thinking as you cultivate that counts as important. ” ("Fa Teaching Given in Manhattan")
I immediately understood, and my anger disappeared into thin air. I no longer held negative thoughts about the criticism and it was no longer important who was right or wrong. I was doing a new Dafa project with that coordinator. If we continued to argue we would not succeed in what we wanted to accomplish. Upon recalling the entire process it seemed that the old forces were trying to take advantage of our loopholes and make us not cooperate, so that we could not do Dafa projects well.
I have since paid more attention to my every thought, and whenever a conflict came up I eliminated the unrighteous thoughts. One practitioner shared with me that she went to a tourist spot to clarify the truth. She felt that her cultivation was going well, but all of a sudden she felt rather strange, very sleepy, and she could not concentrate. She began to look inward and found that she had said something that she should not have said to another practitioner a few minutes prior. When she found the cause of the problem her sleepiness instantly disappeared.
One day I wanted a young practitioner in my family to study the Fa. He was busy with some everyday people's work and didn't like what I had said. He said something nasty and looked rather upset. I got angry and wanted to teach him a lesson. But I realized that those nasty words were not his, and that it was the unrighteous forces from other dimensions taking advantage of him. I immediately said, “Those are not your words. When I reminded you to study the Fa you said something nasty, so I think it was not you. It must be some unrighteous forces that interfered with you. The young practitioner looked at me and said, “I know. I didn't really want to say that.” So, there was no argument between us. This was because the warped lives wanted to create conflict. We rectified our thoughts and those unrighteous lives could not play a role.
A fellow practitioner recently became immersed in sentimentality. I suggested that she let go of sentimentality and was wondering why it took her so long to pass the test. To my utter chagrin, I faced almost the same test of sentimentality. I hated to let the young practitioner leave home to study in other parts of the country, because the young practitioner and I helped each other cultivate. We studied, practiced, sent forth righteous thoughts, and clarified the truth about Falun Gong together, and we helped each other overcome cultivation hurdles. Now, she was leaving. All of a sudden I realized that great changes would happen, so I was slightly worried. I worried that her cultivation environment might not be as good as the one at home, and that she might be temped by everyday people's things. My thoughts kept imagining scenarios that might happen.
I then thought of Teacher's words,
“But with the lowly, impotent human body, whatever one’s thoughts align with will dominate the person. In other words, when beings of different planes notice that you want something, or are attached to something, and that it precisely aligns with them, they take effect and even direct you. When a person is not rational, or is venting anger, negative elements are taking effect. Everything is alive, and those things include evilness, desires, and hatred, among others. So in such situations they naturally take effect.” (“Dafa Disciples Must Study the Fa”)
I understood the reason why that fellow practitioner cried and was disturbed about her child leaving home. At the beginning it might have been due to some human attachments and it had been taken advantage of by the unrighteous forces. The practitioner didn't notice it, therefore accepted the negative thought and took it as her own, and so failed to eliminate it.
Once I enlightened to this I sent forth righteous thoughts to clear the unrighteous substances, and took control of my thoughts. Yes, the evil forces wanted me to fail the test. However, I knew I had to eliminate their plot. I eliminated the evil with righteous thoughts and used righteous thoughts to help the young practitioner understand that the path arranged by Teacher was the best. We treated the issue with righteous thoughts and hoped that we would elevate during the process. I knew that the old forces would surround me with their thoughts whenever my righteous thoughts were not strong. I shared with the young practitioner and we came to the agreement that we should not be controlled by human sentimentality and resolutely walk on the path arranged by Teacher.
I have been cultivating for seven years, and have always felt that I elevated very slowly. This is mainly because I failed to study the Fa diligently, therefore I lacked in doing a better job of genuinely cultivating. How magnificent it is to be a Fa-rectification period practitioner! I must cherish it and continue to walk on the path arranged by Teacher so as not to miss this once in a lifetime opportunity.
Please kindly point out any shortcomings.
