(Minghui.org) When I heard about the 9th China Fahui on Minghui.org, I could not calm down. Thinking back on the 14 years of my cultivation, the path was not smooth and I kept falling. Without Master’s merciful protection I would not be alive today. Everything including my life was granted by Master. I wanted to write down my thoughts but when I picked up the pen, I felt like I was being controlled by some bad thoughts: I was paralyzed and had to stay in bed; I could only move my left hand and had to rely on my mother, also a practitioner, to take care of my personal needs. The righteous thoughts, the human’s thoughts, and interference from the old forces were battling fiercely in my mind: Are you validating the Fa? Yes or No?……. I picked up the pen, dropped it, and kept repeating that. My headache was so severe that it was beyond my ability to endure. Then the thought came into my mind that I should ask Master for help: “Master, what should I do?”
With my eyes shut tight, a force rushed quickly toward me. My celestial eye gradually became clear and several words appeared clearly in my mind: “Three lives.” The words seemed carved into my mind. Tears began to flow and my headache was instantly gone. I realized that it was merciful Master who had given me this hint and encouragement. So I decided to write! No matter how poorly I cultivate, I should still write down how Master granted me three lives in order to show people the greatness and supernormal abilities of the Fa and Master’s mighty virtue.
1. “Your life was extended by Master”
I began to work when I was 19 years old. I was a temporary worker for nearly two years and was almost ready to be given permanent status, but my health suddenly changed. I could not walk one day and had to stay home. I had no strength in my right leg. I would take several steps, then fall. My parents took me to be checked at many different hospitals. Many years passed, but the doctors still could not tell us what caused this problem. Near the end of the 1980s we heard that Xian Medical University had imported a new piece of medical equipment called an MRI machine. That machine could be used to diagnose me. We invited my father’s co-worker’s mother, since she knew a lot of specialists, and she led us to Xian. My younger brother carried me on his back and we all took a train to Xian. After the exam, one of the specialists told her and my brother something they did not tell me. I was only told that my condition was related to a problem with the opening in my spinal cord and they did not recommend surgery or any other specific treatment and recommended that I return home.
After we returned home, my mother started to worship the Guanyin statue she had at home. I also believed in Buddha and worshipped it also. My mother also visited fortunetellers. She found one who was considered to be one of the most accurate in the area. That person looked at my face and only said two sentences: The first was that one large Buddha was sitting above my head; The second was that the incense that we had used to worship Buddha at home was burning in an incense pot. We asked what that all really meant, but he would not explain it. Of course we could not figure out the real meaning by ourselves.
In early 1997, an administrator of the local Zhouyi research center told my fortune and said there was one period of time in my life that he could not understand. He decided to consult with his grandmaster who had cultivated in the mountain all by himself and who was already over 100 years old. He was not sure whether he could visit him or not. He said: “Let’s follow nature.” Later he was very excited to tell my parents that I was born to be a cultivator and soon an important sage, who was already known by the people of the world, would take me as his disciple.
His words confused me very much. Cultivation? Didn’t that mean going to the temple? But with my poor health, how could I cultivate? Later that year, that administrator gave me Master’s book, Zhuan Falun and an exercise cassette. My mother let me read Zhuan Falun first. My illness had made me suffer for over a dozen years and had depressed me so much that I had completely lost hope. Still, I did not want to hurt my mother’s feelings. I opened the book and found the following quotation: “Some lay Buddhists practice both Buddhism and our Falun Dafa. I am telling you that in the end you will not obtain anything because no one will give you anything.” (Zhuan Falun) However, I misunderstood the quotation and did not read Zhuan Falun since I already burned incense and worshiped Buddha, so I should not learn Dafa. As a result my mother read Zhuan Falun by herself.
My mother experienced major changes both in her body and mind after only one month of studying the Fa and practicing the exercises. This amazed me. In early 1998 my body was once again ravaged nearly to death by my illness. My mother said, “Please cultivate, I cannot watch you suffer like this…… You should read the book again.” I then began to practice Falun Gong.
As I studied the Fa, Master opened my mind, and I experienced a fundamental change. I realized the real meaning of life, which is to return to our original nature. By then my mother told me that the disease I had was one of the rarest of incurable diseases. The specialist had said that I was only the second case that he had ever seen. Nothing could be done for me except to pray to Buddha. My mother said, “Buddha really took care of you and it was Master that saved your life. Your life had been extended for several dozen years by Master in order to practice Falun Gong!” I cried very hard and so did my mother. I recalled what had happened in the past, what the fortuneteller and the cultivator over 100 years old had told me. They made me not only appreciate Master but also made me feel deeply ashamed. What Master had suffered on my behalf was beyond my ability to explain in words. Master had arranged for my mother to help me begin to cultivate. At that time when we heard that Master’s lecture recordings had arrives, my supportive family members, including my father, my younger brother or my younger sister, took turns holding me on their backs to take my mother and me to go to listen to the Fa. That period of time is so unforgettable.
2. I am Master’s Disciple
In 2002, my mother was reported to the authorities when she was putting up Falun Gong posters. The evil officers took my mother to the police station. After she was released, the 610 Office staff, community center office staff and the police kept coming to our house whenever one of the so-called “sensitive days” arrived. They applied a lot of pressure on our family. However, since my mother and I were bothered by sentimentality and fear, we did not tell the others about Falun Gong or how we had benefited from Dafa. Instead we simply told them that my mother had to take care of me. We asked them not to come to our house again etc. My mother lacked righteous thoughts and she left home to move in with one of our relatives. Later I suffered very bad persecution: my left buttock was so severely damaged that finally a large hole formed and connected with my anus; a bone in my right arm was fractured and then came off. At that time when I studied the Fa, I was very sleepy and both of my eyes itched. My brain was so numb that I could not learn anything. I could not sleep at all. When the four set times for sending righteous thoughts arrived, I only sent forth righteous thoughts for 5 minutes then lost consciousness. I was supposed to do the exercises but did not know how I could manage to do them. The worst was that I felt extremely hungry, but when I ate, I could not breathe. My family worried about my poor health and about the conflict between my mother and me. Just like Master said: “Abundant troubles rain down together, All to see: Can you pull through? ……..” (“Tempering the Will” from Hong Yin)
One day, one of my relatives brought a well known doctor from the major hospital in our city to check on me. Later my relatives, my parents’ close friends and some of my classmates visited me. Several women held me and cried. I knew what that meant. I am a cultivator but I did not validate Dafa, and also I let everyone feel pity and sadness for me. In this regard, I felt I let Master down.
During that period, merciful Master gave me hints more than once. One of my fellow female practitioners saw atop my head many golden bright spots and she saw the old forces, dark minions, and rotten demons persecuting my body. Several times I saw large and small Faluns rotating in my room. I realized that Master was beside me. I sent forth righteous thoughts to completely deny all the arrangements that had been made by the old force. Even though I had some shortcomings it was not allowed for the old forces to persecute me. I only accepted the arrangements made by Master.
As time passed, my health worsened. My mind became unstable and I lost the righteous thoughts of a cultivator. The results were obvious, as you would expect. I was not very alert and heard the evil old force sinisterly say the following: “You are like this and this.” At that time I felt something very heavy pressing down on me that made it difficult for me to breathe. I thought that I would suffocate. In that moment, a powerful force caused me to shout, “I am Master’s disciple!” I didn’t know where that force came from; perhaps it was from my original nature. I only uttered the two Chinese characters for Master and heard those two words echoing between heaven and earth. That was so astonishing. My body started to shake violently and the Falun in my lower abdomen rotated abruptly. When everything turned calm, I noticed that I was alert and my body was light again. All this happened suddenly and mysteriously. I was shocked. Later when I thought about this, I could do nothing but sob. I was ashamed before Master. I did not know how much suffering Master had experienced for me again!
Under Master’s merciful protection and with the help of fellow practitioners, I studied the Fa carefully and kept looking inward to find my fundamental attachments. I was surprised that I still did not let go of the attachments to my body. After I started to practice Falun Gong, on one occasion Master presented a scene to me in a dream that “In a prehistoric period, however, it was once widely used to provide salvation to humankind.” (Zhuan Falun) At that time I was sitting in an armchair to go study the Fa at my aunt’s house and what we studied was Zhuan Falun. That aunt is my mother in this life.
However, I did not enlighten to it and I just understood Master’s hints with heavy human notions. I did not understand the real meaning by using Master’s Fa. Master said:
“Sacrifice is evidenced by one’s being detached from ordinary human attachments. If a person can indeed calmly abandon everything with his heart being unaffected, he is actually at that level already. Yet cultivation practice is to improve yourself: You are already able to abandon the attachment, so why not also abandon the fear of attachment, itself? Isn’t abandonment without omission a higher sacrifice?” (“Non-Omission” from Essentials For Further Advancement)
I did not cast off everything and I did not break through to a higher level. At that time I did not firmly believe in Master and the Fa.
Three months later I recovered my health. My family members and all my relatives and friends witnessed my return from near death and once again they witnessed Dafa’s supernormal abilities. The famous doctor that had checked me was especially shocked and said: “Unbelievable!” because earlier he had predicted that I would only live for two more weeks. The people who knew me said almost the exact same words: “It is very lucky for you to have such a good mother taking care of you, besides she practiced the exercises with you. Even I would be touched by her kind thoughts and kind deeds.” Then I sincerely told them, “My mother is the best in the world and also she is a hard working mother. The reason for my having such good fortune is that I have a wonderful mother who practices Falun Gong and also led me to cultivate. It was merciful Master who saved my mother and me and our whole family!” During that peaceful environment, the people around us showed their respect to Master and Dafa, which always touched my mother and me. Later, during the wave of quitting the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) and its affiliated organizations, the people who know me and their family members all withdrew from the evil Party and its affiliated organizations and therefore made the most beautiful choice for their lives.
3. “Master saved your life one more time!”
In 2001, my nephew in high school had a very stressful study routine. My brother’s house was far away from his son’s school but my parents’ house was a little closer to my nephew’s school. My parents’ house is located downtown, so commuting is more convenient. My brother’s wife decided to stay in my parent’s house without getting their permission. Thus my mother and I could not have our privacy anymore. My mother had to work harder and my father paid lots of extra money for the additional people in our house, but my brother’s wife still complained to them whenever she quarreled with my brother. Each time my mother would say nicely to her, “I am still a practitioner. Whenever I do something wrong, please point it out and I will change. But if you always talk this nonsense, it will do you no good.” She then would respond angrily, “Do not talk about your stuff, I don’t believe it!”
We felt so bad due to her misbehaving. My father, the leader in our family, started to practice Falun Gong in November 2005. He always tried his best to achieve harmony in the family at least on the surface. He was not able to fix these conflicts in our family. He only blamed my mother and said that she did not do well, that she failed to be tolerant as a practitioner, etc. When my mother failed to maintain her xinxing, she would argue with my father. Then I felt so bad and was unable to be calm. I blamed myself for causing problems for my mother. It also was because of me that my mother could not go out to clarify the truth to average people face to face to save them. I thought indeed I was a burden to my mother. On the other hand I was a practitioner. If I still held these thoughts, it would be shameful to Master.
Each time the conflict ended with the same result, and each time my xinxing did not improve. Oftentimes one terrible thought would came out, sometimes it was strong and sometimes it was weak. I tried to eliminate it or simply not acknowledge it and I knew that I should just listen to Master, but it still existed.
One hot summer afternoon, the temperature already reached 42 degrees C. The elderly people in my town said that it was the first time that the temperature was so hot in the northwest. I only remembered my mother went to take a bath……, after I regained my consciousness that my mother was holding me. One fellow practitioner, I called him uncle, walked out of my father’s room and told me: “It’s OK, OK, good.” That uncle brought us Minghui Weekly each week. I saw my father sat there facing me with a very yellowish appearance and he did not say a word. I stared at my mother and my mother told me: “A while ago you were out of breath and that lasted for over 10 minutes. I kept calling Master for help.” My mother kept talking and tears filled her eyes, “It was Master who saved you!” I could not remember anything until five fellow practitioners rushed to my house and then I began to understand.
For the next two days, fellow practitioners and my parents kept sending righteous thoughts for me during the hot weather. They also communicated with me. They helped me sincerely and with a kind heart. Their deep understanding of the Fa touched me and I felt ashamed that my own cultivation had not been more diligent.
I built up enough courage to tell my fellow practitioners about the bad relationship between my sister-in-law and me in our previous lives. One life I was in Japan. My mother in that life is also my mother in this life. She had three daughters. I am her eldest daughter. Her second daughter is my younger sister in this life. She always supported me and my mother in our cultivation and life. Her third daughter is my sister-in-law in this life. Her mother in that life spoiled her too much and as a result she formed many bad habits. When I could not endure her anymore, I told my mother about her bad behavior. She would pretend to apologize at that time, but when I was not alert, she would use something I did not know to badly hurt my back, which made me feel that I would almost suffocate. That hurt and anger in my mind could not be released. My sister-in-law’s bad personality and bad habits showed up again in this life. My mother and I could not accept her actions and her attitude toward Dafa, and we felt tortured and hurt. As a result, her bad behavior caused us to form bad feelings that could not be eliminated.
On the surface my tribulation was due to the hot weather—I lost the ability to sweat. Actually my tribulation was due to the deep hatred toward her and I could not cast off that hate. I knew that every conflict that a practitioner met all had some reason and all in all cases there was something that needed to be removed. Besides Master gave me hints in my dreams. Therefore, although I realized that I should get rid of it but I could not remove it completely.
At this time one fellow practitioner, I called him uncle, told me: “Do you remember Master’s quotation ‘the appearance stems from the mind.’? (“Fa Teaching Given at the Epoch Times Meeting”) In order to let go of the hatred toward your family members, the first thing to do is to let go of your attachments. Think about it: if we practitioners always held on to the human’s attachments and refused to let them go, Master would feel upset, but the old force would feel happy. To our family members and our relatives and friends who had predestined relationships, their enlightened side would also feel disappointed.” His words dropped to my heart heavily and sincerely. It was merciful Master who was worried about me, so he used a fellow practitioner’s mouth to wake me up. At that time I could not help thinking about Master’s Fa: “When you deal with conflicts the same way as everyday people, you are then at the same level, or in the same realm, as everyday people. That is to say, you are one of the everyday people. Only when you are not like them are you not one of them. Of course then, what you will display will be tolerance and an immense capacity to forgive. Everyday people will see it this way, but in fact it is the manifestation of your xinxing level in cultivation. So, regardless of the setting or circumstance in which you run into problems, you must maintain a compassionate and merciful heart in handling the situation. If you cannot love your enemy, then you cannot reach Consummation. ” (“Teaching the Fa at the Fa Conference in Australia”)
Master also said the following:
“Countless are the chaotic things in this human world
Gratitude and resentment now heaped atop one another,
No hope had the wicked of heart, their karma massive
‘Tis Dafa that resolves everything at the source”
(“Undoing the Disaster” from Hong Yin Volume II)
At this time I could not express my gratitude to Master in words. There was only one deep emotion that stuck in my mind: In the vastness of the cosmos, I could see only Master’s body. I saw that tiny me was kneeling before Master and sobbing. Master, as your disciple, I was wrong again. In order to get rid of this hatred, I could not know how much suffering you again had to endure for me. It is you who gave me this third life!
Since then I better understood the importance of studying the Fa and another meaning of looking within. My mother had similar thoughts. Both of us realized that, as practitioners, we should meet the requirements of Dafa. We should always have a righteous mind, righteous thoughts and righteous intentions. Every conflict and tribulation is to be fixed by practitioners and it also was the elements waiting to be uplifted in our cultivation. Hasn’t Master said: “Compassion can harmonize Heaven and Earth, ushering in spring……”(“The Fa Rectifies the Cosmos” from Hong Yin Volume II)
We took our own feelings too seriously and stuck with the family conflicts too long. We used everyday people’s reasoning to judge who is right and who is wrong instead of looking inward. All of these were attachments that had to be removed. We did not deal with our family members properly and we did not tell them the truth of Dafa with a merciful heart. We did not handle each problem with our compassion and open mind as practitioners ought to do. We did not cultivate ourselves well, thus the evil dragged her down and used the bad element in her mind to interfere with our cultivation. We could not behave like this any more. Let us cast off these attachments.
My mother thought that way and later she behaved according to the requirements of Fa. I watched my mother’s behavior and that encouraged me to do good in line with Dafa. Later family conflicts occurred again, such as whenever my brother and his wife argued fiercely and whenever his wife made a big fuss to my mother in front of my brother, both my mother and I managed to remain calm. Then my sister-in-law became calm too. Our family atmosphere turned peaceful. My brother started to cook dinner and his wife could also do some household chores. She didn’t say anything more about Dafa. She also admitted that cultivation of Dafa is a personal belief.
The atmosphere changed alone with our mind. Thus my mother could have some time to recite the Fa with me every night. Now every week we joined a Fa study group that had a total of six people. My parents and I formed a small Fa-study group and one aunty joined us. My mother and that aunty came out once a week to the jail that held Dafa disciples illegally to send forth righteous thoughts within close distance. On the way they would talk with people who had a predestined relationship to do the “three withdraws”. Therefore my mother sighed: Truly “Cultivation depends on one’s own efforts, while the transformation of gong is done by one’s master.” (Zhuan Falun)
Now I feel positive, light and happy. My life is melting into Dafa. That feeling is one of sincerity and appreciation. When I read the experience sharing articles written by Dafa practitioners worldwide in the Minghui.org, I am touched all the time by the fellow practitioners firm belief and solid diligent cultivation in all kinds of circumstances toward Master and Fa. I have to strive vigorously to keep pace with Master’s Fa-rectification process.
Here I have to especially thank my fellow practitioner, I call her aunty. In 2009 she introduced one young fellow practitioner who is good working with computers. He set up an Internet log-in system for me and other Dafa disciples. With the help of my fellow practitioners as well as my family members, I gradually learned how to log into the Internet, how to download information including the Minghui broadcasts and recordings, the songs from “Heavenly music”, Zhengjian.org, FGM, and NTDTV programs. I also know how to send out articles and the list of people who have withdrawn from the CCP, so I can help save sentient beings.
Here I have to thank our great and merciful Master for giving us this opportunity for us disciples to learn from each other at this China Fahui.