(Minghui.org) In my 14 years of practicing Falun Gong, I have always had a strong and deeply rooted attachment: I like to hear pleasing things about myself and have a hard time accepting criticism. Teacher arranged for me to recognize and eliminate this attachment, and I would like to share my experience.
My responsibilities at work changed recently, and I had much more contact with people in senior management. Initially, I simply attended the meetings and mostly listened, rarely expressing my opinion. I also helped to take the minutes of the meetings sometimes.
I had heard that one person, who was in charge of many things and making policies, was not friendly. When I started going to his meetings, I often noticed that he was upset, which made other people at the meeting feel uncomfortable and they did not speak freely. I talked to others after the meetings about his behavior and thought it was unacceptable coming from a senior executive. I continued to think about it when I got off work, “No one likes this guy. Why was such a person given a high position?”
During the same period, my wife, who is a practitioner, constantly told me that Teacher wanted us to look inward unconditionally. But I didn't think I had anything to look for.
This person got angry again in another meeting, preventing me from asking a very important question that I was supposed to ask. I was quite upset and did not attend the next day's meeting. Afterward, my supervisor told me that this person was very polite during the meeting. My supervisor joked, “We thought it was because you were not there and that was why he was in a good mood.” I also took it as a joke, as I believed that there was absolutely no reason for this person to have any grievances against me.
One morning I was studying “Teaching the Fa at the 2004 Chicago Conference” and came across the following paragraph:
“You're a cultivator, so why is it that sometimes you have lengthy arguments where you refuse to give ground? Why do you always say it's because of other people's attitudes? Why is it that whenever someone else says something you're affected? Aren't you supposed to remain unaffected even when someone verbally assaults you? Many of the factors that contribute to a conflict are caused by that thing at work. Whenever someone hits on that thing you become rash and worked up, your heart even starts to pound, and at that moment you don't think of being responsible to the Fa but just get angry and can't get over it. Some people always insist, 'My, how come that person always has such an attitude? Why is he like that with everyone?' And there are some people who say, 'Well nobody thinks too highly of him.' But if you ask me, your master, you're all wrong. When none of you are attached anymore to wanting to hear pleasing things, when none of you are affected when you're insulted, see if he'll still be like that. Exactly because you people have those attachments, there exist factors that hit on your attachments; and exactly because those attachments of yours are stirred up, you get irritated; when all of you have those attachments, the situation where everyone is irritated by the person who hit on their attachments comes about. If you can all keep a calm and steady state of mind while being assaulted by strong words, and you're not at all affected, then see if those factors still exist.”
Wasn't Teacher talking about me?! My mind became clearer. My attachment needs to be eliminated immediately. This afternoon my wife argued with me about a few things and I immediately got worked up and fought back. I feel really ashamed while writing this article. I must work harder and wait for the next opportunity that Teacher arranges for me to improve.
Category: Improving Oneself
