(Minghui.org) Looking within whenever a problem surfaces is the magical tool that Teacher gave cultivators, and this is what distinguishes a cultivator from non-practitioners. Fellow practitioners all understand this Falun Dafa teaching, and also hope that they can look within under any circumstances. In actuality, I discovered that it was difficult for me to truly look within during my daily activities – at work, or in cultivation. Sometimes, I didn't know what to look for, or how to look.

There are numerous reasons for not being able to look within. During my personal cultivation, I discovered that the notion of wanting to explain everything severely blocked me from looking within.

For example, when we attended group Fa study, we recognized phenomena like this during experience sharing. When one practitioner raised his opinion, suggestions, advice or criticism toward another practitioner, the other party couldn't wait to start explaining their position. If one side was not kind enough, they'd argue for a quite awhile.

This happened to me as well. Whenever I encountered problems, conflicts or disagreements, my first reaction was not to look within, but instead, to look really hard for all sorts of reasons and excuses in order to explain my actions. I was distressed by this. Why couldn't I look within? Why couldn't I maintain my xinxing?

Recently, I studied Teacher's Fa,

“You should treat everyone compassionately and look for causes in yourself when encountering any problem.” (“Teaching the Fa at the Fa Conference in Australia”)

The words “look for causes in yourself when encountering any problem” touched me deeply. What I understood from the sentence was there was no room to maneuver if I don't look within. To look within is unconditional. The very first reaction, our first thought at the prime time should be to look within, look within, look within. I must use the Fa to evaluate my heart and thoughts.

When we're not busy looking for reasons or excuses, it's easier to calm down and objectively and rationally examine our words and deeds, and use the Fa to evaluate and search the heart that brought on those words and deeds.

When I evaluate myself with the Fa, I understood that the reason why I couldn't look within was my attachment to explaining myself. There was fear behind the need to explain. Why did I have to explain? I looked further down, and discovered that I was afraid to take responsibility, afraid of being misunderstood by others, that others would see my attachments; afraid that others would think that I didn't cultivate well, that others would hurt my self-esteem, reputation, elation, showing off mentality, etc. That was the reason why I worked so hard to look for so many reasons to explain myself – in order to protect my human heart. Put bluntly, I found my selfish heart, a heart which cared only for me, myself, that would rather hurt others; a deep-seated, worst kind of heart.

I finally realized after many years of cultivation, why there were various sorts of tribulations and interference, why my xinxing was not greatly elevated – it was due to this selfish heart which instigated, agitated and spawned other attachments, such as the mentality of showing off, elation, jealousy, competitiveness, etc. This deep-seated selfish heart is precisely what manipulated me to explain myself instead of truly looking within.

Recently, following a lecture I delivered in English at a rally against the persecution, several western fellow practitioners commended me for my good job. I felt pretty good as well. One fellow practitioner pointed out to me seriously: “When you gave the lecture, you seemed too emotional, not calm and peaceful; you should show the world's people the harmonious and amicable manner of cultivators.” My first reaction was to explain to him that I was lecturing to a western audience and appealing for their support to stop the persecution, so I should use a non-practitioner's tone of voice to encourage them. This fellow practitioner's xinxing was pretty high; he didn't argue, but listened quietly.

I suddenly remembered Teacher's words:

“You should treat everyone compassionately and look for causes in yourself when encountering any problem.” (“Teaching the Fa at the Fa Conference in Australia”)

I realized that when a fellow practitioner raised his concern, then there must be an area for me to pay attention to and improve, otherwise, this wouldn't happen. I shouldn't push it away, and should truly look within.

The result of looking within was, I realized that as a Falun Dafa practitioners, when we talk with compassion and peace according to the xinxing standard of a practitioner, it carries the power of Fa. Additionally, it moves, awakens and saves the world's people and eliminates evil. During the second lecture that afternoon, I adjusted my mentality and tone of voice. Later, I was full of gratitude toward my fellow practitioner. I was grateful that he wasn't afraid of upsetting me by frankly pointing out the issue, and I appreciated his kind heart of being responsible to the Fa and a fellow practitioner. I was also happy that I was able to break through the attachment of explaining myself; I wasn't blocked by the attachments of vanity and fighting mentality and was able to look within.

While writing this experience sharing article, my wife (a non-practitioner) who always criticizes, blames and interferes with me, suddenly said something totally unexpected: “You look peaceful and harmonious. Now it seems like you're truly cultivating.” I was surprised, then realized that lately whenever she was upset with me, I no longer explained with excuses; I only looked within, searching for the reason within.

This is my personal experience, please kindly point out any shortcomings.