(Minghui.org) China's media has been running hate propaganda to justify the persecution of Falun Gong that began in 1999, launched by Jiang Zemin, former chairman of the Chinese Communist Party (CCP). I was incarcerated in a forced labor camp for practicing Falun Gong, and because I refused to renounce my faith, the prison guards have repeatedly shocked me with electric batons and subjected me to many other means of torture that resulted in my becoming physical disabled. China's 610 Office and the management of my work organization have repeatedly tried to force me to give up my faith, yet I have never wavered in my belief in Falun Gong. The faith in my heart for Falun Gong remains.
I started practicing Falun Gong in January 1999, and have been practicing for more than a decade. It is due to my faith in Teacher and Falun Gong that I have journeyed this far. I have prevailed over many trials and tribulations under the protection of our compassionate Teacher. I would like to share my cultivation experiences and insights with fellow Falun Gong practitioners. Please kindly point out anything inappropriate with my humble understandings.
I started practicing Falun Gong in January 1999 when I was suffering from proctitis. I had previously resorted to all kinds of medical treatments but to no avail. Despite my illness, I had no choice but to continue working to support my family. After a health care reform, my organization paid us only 50 yuan each month if we took sick leave. With two growing children in school, my family could not make ends meet if I had no income. My husband's pay was not good because his organization was not profitable. The financial pressure and my illness made my life unbearably painful.
After I had already tried western and Chinese medicine, as well as home remedies, a work colleague recommended Falun Gong to me. Hoping to get well, I took my annual leave and bought a copy of Zhuan Falun at a bookstore. I was amazed when I read it. I realized it was a book that teaches people to return to their pure, innocent selves, and how to practice cultivation. I have been practicing Falun Gong ever since.
I was mere skin and bones, due to the proctitis. I frequently suffered from diarrhea, and couldn't even stand up straight. It was an illness that all of my work colleagues knew about. Yet I became completely well after having practicing Falun Gong for only a few days. I was glowing! My colleagues were shocked when they saw me return to work completely well. “How did you get your illness treated?” I told them it was Falun Gong and began recommending Falun Gong to them. It caused quite a sensation at work. Many of my colleagues bought a copy of Zhuan Falun, and some started practicing.
I immediately started to conduct myself according to Falun Gong's principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. First, I tore up my medical expense receipts which totaled over 3,000 yuan. The new health care plan at work required everyone to pay for their own medical expenses, so I had asked the hospitals to write the receipts in my mother's name and reported these medical expenses through my mother, whose health care plan paid for everything. I knew that this was not in accordance with the principles of Falun Gong, so I destroyed all the receipts. Next, I had found a gold chain necklace at work that belonged to a tourist. It was a large necklace, and I had kept it for myself. After I started practicing Falun Gong, I shared this story with a fellow practitioner at work and decided to hand over the gold necklace to the management.
I worked at a ticket office, and processed a lot of cash every day. Many travelers used counterfeit bills to buy tickets. When I found counterfeit bills, I destroyed them and paid for the balance out of my own pocket. When my colleagues learned what I did, one of them commented, "If you find it inappropriate to use counterfeit bills because you practice Falun Gong, why don't you give them to me? I will take them. Why do you have to pay for the counterfeit bills?" I explained to them that as a Falun Gong practitioner, I couldn't do that. I got along with my colleagues well. I didn't pick easy tasks. In addition to doing my job well at the ticket office, I volunteered to keep our work environment clean, including the waiting room and the parking lot.
I was very happy cultivating in Falun Gong. It saved my life and transformed me into a better person. I was determined to manifest the beauty of Falun Gong through my actions. In fact, my behavior at work laid a very solid foundation for my truth-clarification later on.
When Jiang Zemin began to suppress Falun Gong on July 20, 1999, the management at work followed his order and demanded that those who practice Falun Gong guarantee in writing to renounce Falun Gong and hand in our Falun Gong books. Should we refuse, we would be suspended without pay. We were required to attend meetings many times each day. Our colleagues commented, "This is just like going back to the Cultural Revolution!"
I firmly believe that Teacher is the most righteous, and Falun Gong is the best cultivation practice. I decided to travel to Beijing in October 1999 to exercise my constitutional right, and appeal to the State Appeals Office in Beijing for Falun Gong. But I ended up being arrested and transferred back to a detention center in my hometown like many other Falun Gong practitioners. I was detained for 30 days. I went alone to Beijing again in the summer of 2000 and was arrested at Tiananmen Square. When the management at work learned that I had left for Beijing, they rushed to Beijing by car, went to the detention center in Beijing, and put me in the car themselves. They put me in a detention center in my local city. I was sentenced to a forced labor camp a few days later.
I was subjected to cruel torture at the camp until I lost the ability to walk. The guards attacked me with electric batons and forced me to kneel by twisting my arms and stomping on my thighs. Then they continued to shock me with electric batons on my head, face, and the back of my neck. My face was covered with bumps and blisters as a result. My eyes were so swollen that I couldn't see anything. My lips were swollen too. For more than a month I was unable to lay down because the pressure would cause the blisters to pop. My entire face peeled.
Next, my legs began to hurt, and I had difficulty walking. I felt as though there were numerous needles poking in my legs. I was in so much pain that I was unable to sleep at night. I put my feet in a water barrel with cold water in the middle of the winter to numb the pain so that I could sleep for a short while. When my legs became warm again, I would awaken to the excruciating pain. I was in hell. I protested to the guard captain and personnel at the Second Division of the local Public Security Bureau (PSB) that had sentenced me to the forced labor camp, and demanded to be released. A prison guard said, "You refuse to renounce Falun Gong, yet you dream of being released?" They had no mercy. After disabling me, they continued to pressure me to renounce Falun Gong in writing. They even lied, "It will do if you guarantee not to go to Beijing again."
But I had faith in my heart. I chose to believe in Teacher and Falun Gong. I did not write a guarantee.
I was detained in a cell with a dozen inmates in May 2001. I began to have symptoms of malaria. We were not allowed to leave the cell because we refused to renounce Falun Gong. There was a plastic barrel behind the door. I began to have diarrhea. I had already lost the ability to walk. Now I had high fever and constantly had diarrhea. I was in terrible pain. Another practitioner who had already renounced Falun Gong watched me suffer and asked, "Are you not afraid of death?" I replied, "I am not afraid of death." She urged me to eat. We had no hot water. She made a bowl of instant noodles out of lukewarm water, and I managed to eat some.
When my mother learned of my condition, she came and stayed at the guesthouse of the forced labor camp for three weeks. She asked the forced labor camp to release me every day, but the camp personnel would not grant the request. My mother even had a heart attack. She told the guards, "I will see her released even if it will cost me my own life. I am over 60. I will trade her life for mine!" I was finally released after 11 months of incarceration.
After my release, the local 610 Office and the management at work began to harass me at home, even though I was disabled. The secretary of the city's Political and Legal Committee even targeted me and pressured me to renounce Falun Gong. My husband was threatened to be laid off and was told, "Divorce your wife if she refuses to renounce Falun Gong." He was ordered to stay home and watch me during China's People's Congress. He was enduring enormous psychological pressure that he did not deserve. He was under so much pressure that one day he did not see a rice steamer plugged into the power outlet. He tripped over the cable and threw the entire pot of steamed rice on the floor. The management also had a person come to my home and watch me. I was on the brink of a mental collapse. Words can not describe the feeling of suppression. One day I grabbed my hair and shouted, "Teacher! I will not renounce Falun Gong! I will not renounce Falun Gong! I will not renounce Falun Gong even if it costs me my life!" Next, I shouted, "Falun Gong is good!" All of a sudden I became all the more steadfast in my faith in Teacher and Falun Gong.
When they noticed that psychological pressure would not make me surrender, they resorted to financial means. They suspended my bonus and my pay. My husband and I had to support two children. My husband received only a bit over 300 yuan every month in his paycheck. Life was very difficult. Yet I guarded my xinxing and did not give in.
These were difficult times, but I would not compromise my faith no matter how difficult it was, and I refused to write a guarantee. I had never doubted Teacher or Falun Gong. I believe only in Teacher. I would not believe any lies or slander against Falun Gong. I continued to be thoughtful of others in my condition. Although I had difficulty walking without pain, I would not return to bed once I got out of bed every day. I sat on a cushioned pillow and kept the bed clean. After my husband left for work and my children left for school, I walked around the house with a walking stick to clean and cook for my family.
I was very appreciative of one particular elderly practitioner. She risked her personal safety, and insisted on calling on me while I was being watched. She brought me Teacher's articles and Minghui Weekly, and exchanged cultivation insights with me. She suggested, "Why don't you ask your mother to buy you a pair of crutches so that you can explain to people how you lost the use of your legs."
Walking with a pair of crutches, I started to tell people how the CCP tortured me as a Falun Gong practitioner. I started with my most immediate neighbors. Soon everyone in my neighborhood knew who had injured me with electric batons. I walked with the crutches. I walked for one mile the first day and two miles the next. I told everyone I ran into, and spread the facts about the persecution the best I could.
It was a very hot summer. The friction from the crutches soon created holes in my shirt at my armpits. The friction and the perspiration caused me a lot of pain. Many people told me, "Poor dear. You must pay attention to your personal safety when you tell people your story." I felt no hardship when I saw them awaken to the truth about the persecution against Falun Gong. Teacher said,
"Great enlightened beings fear no hardship
Their will is cast of diamond
Life or death, they have no attachment
Forthright and broad-minded on the road of Fa-rectification"
("Righteous Thoughts, Righteous Actions" from Hong Yin Vol. II)
A Falun Gong practitioner's will is cast of diamond. What hardship and tribulations can possibly stop us?
One day I was on my way home and passed by a public flower bed. There were many people there. One of them said, "Good people? If they are good people, why would they end up there (in forced labor camps)?" I was not upset or discouraged at all. One day I ran into an elderly person who shouted out to me while I was telling a few people about the facts of the persecution against Falun Gong. He shouted, "You are still talking? Stop!" I was not upset. I said calmly, "There is no need to be upset, uncle. We don't know each other. Why are you so upset? They asked me why I needed to walk with crutches. That is why I am telling them my story." When I ran into him again, he was no longer hostile toward me.
One day I walked up to a movie theater. It was during a summer vacation so there were many children there. A boy asked, "Why are you on crutches?" I explained to him how the prison guards caused my disability. His mother ran up to me and said, "You dare to talk about Falun Gong here. Do you know who I am? I am a reporter. I will report you to the 610 Office!" I replied, "It is your child that asked me about my disability. Don't report it to the 610 Office." She would not listen and called the 610 Office with her mobile phone right away. It was too late for me to flee the scene, so I decided to sit on the curb, send forth righteous thoughts, and beg for Teacher's protection. I chanted silently the formula of righteous thoughts.
A car from 110 (equivalent to 911 in the US) arrived within a few minutes. They asked who practices Falun Gong. I had no fear. I explained to the people from the 110 how I was tortured and lost the use of my legs. They asked, "Is this a true story?" "Every word." I even told them my work organization and my name. "You are welcome to verify my story with my boss." They said, "Poor thing. Why don't you get into our car. We will give you a ride home." I replied, "Thank you very much. But I need to exercise my legs. I will not trouble you." Next they went to talk to the woman who reported me. She returned to me looking angry. "What did you tell the 110 people? They reproached me!" I replied, "I just told them what happened to me. I told you not to report me to the police, but you insisted." There were many onlookers. An older woman said with tears in her eyes, "Let me help you get up." Some people berated the woman who reported me to the police.
I started to clarify the truth at work and revealed how the authorities denied me of my income. I repeatedly demanded the bonus and pay they had illegally suspended. They ignored me at first and asked the police to threaten me. I told them that I had not committed any crimes, and that I was entitled to my pay. Some colleagues were very sympathetic. They even suggested, "If they refuse to give you back your pay, you should refuse to leave and just live here." I also took the opportunity to clarify the truth about Falun Gong to my colleagues and revealed the cruel persecution to them.
I went wherever people congregated. In the summer time I shouted outside the waiting room at the bus station, "Of course I will come here! It is you that drove me to the forced labor camp! Jiang Zemin would not allow Falun Gong practitioners to be legally represented in court. No one will give me justice for my disability. I will see you for my justice!" I did this when there were more people. When they noticed a lot of people were listening, they invited me into their office. Eventually I got back all the bonus, pay, and pension I was entitled to.
I never felt any hardship. I felt very grateful watching one person after another learn the truth about Falun Gong and the persecution of Falun Gong.
Teacher watched over me as I continued to study the Fa and practice the exercises. I was finally able to walk without crutches. I was eventually able to ride a bicycle. I continued to clarify the truth to people. Many people asked me, "You can walk now? You don't need crutches any longer?"
Once I was able to walk, I began to work as a nanny and maid. My oldest child was going to college, and the second one was in high school. I worked as a nanny for half a day, but I had to do a full day's work, including cleaning, laundry, and cooking. It was a very demanding job. But I guarded my xinxing. I kept in mind that I was a cultivator and fulfilled my responsibilities. My employer trusted me wholeheartedly. I clarified the truth to every family I worked for. They often offered gifts as a reward for my excellent work, but I always declined. Every family I had worked with now knows the truth about Falun Gong. Some have agreed to quit the CCP and its affiliated organizations. I am still in touch with some of these families.
When I attended weddings of my colleagues' children, I helped with the wedding reception and clarified the truth at opportune moments. They were very appreciative of my help.
My father passed away a long time ago. My father's hometown is very far away, so I didn't keep in touch with my father's side of the family. It had been my wish to clarify the truth in my father's hometown. I begged Teacher for an opportunity to return home. When my second child was planning to go overseas for study, she had to arrange an interview. I asked her to have the interview near my father's hometown. After the interview, we hurried to the nearby train station to return to my father's home. While we were waiting for the train, I saw a young man and approached him. It turned out he had just come from my hometown. He helped me buy tickets home. I thanked him and clarified the truth to him. He agreed to quit the CCP.
We got off the train the next day and bought bus tickets home. My uncle picked us up from the bus station, and I told him that I could only stay for one day. He immediately drove me to visit all the relatives in town. I clarified the truth to them and persuaded them to quit the CCP. My aunt, who was over 80, grabbed my hand and said, "I am not senile. I remember everything you have told me." They were very moved that I went out of my way to visit them from far away. They have been in touch with me ever since.
We boarded the train home the next day. After a full day's trip we finally arrived home. My child was accepted and got into the school she wanted to attend.
When I went to my daughter's college, I paid my own fare and did not take advantage of my connection with my former work organization. My former colleagues felt bad to have me pay for the transportation. I told them that I had already retired and should not take any advantage.
I still have many attachments to eliminate, and I cannot always search inward. Specifically, I had many conflicts with one particular practitioner. I always focused on her attachments and criticized her. I really feel bad. I have let Teacher down. I must cultivate my heart solidly from now on, follow Teacher's teachings and search inward at all times. I must do the three things well.