(Minghui.org) I am a young Falun Dafa disciple who started practicing more than ten years ago. For some time I had given up the practice, but have returned to it.
I started to practice Falun Dafa, just like many young practitioners, because my mother was a practitioner. However, my mother did not regard me as a young practitioner, but rather as someone who was interfering with her doing the exercises. Therefore, she would not take me to the exercise site. I can't say why I insisted on following her to the exercise site at the age of nine.
Thinking back, I realize that Master will not allow one single person who should obtain the Fa to be left out.
It was a winter morning at about 5 o'clock. I had not slept well the night before and begged my mother to let me also go to the exercise site. She refused, but that day I was stubborn and ran after her although she was riding a bike. I was crying, running and calling out for her until she was out of sight. I kept wiping my tears and continued to try to follow her. After some time, my father arrived and took me to the exercise site.
That day I obtained the Fa, and the days after I obtained the Fa were the happiest days of my life. Whatever I did, I knew how to do it because I had Falun Dafa as my guide.
When mother spread the Fa to adults, I would spread the Fa to my classmates. I never thought about whether others would look at me strange or whether others would not understand. I was not moved, even when some classmates ridiculed me. I was successful, and many of my classmates obtained the Fa.
A classmate said, “I don't want to read any practice story. Whatever is the most important, loan it to me, I’ll read it.” So I loaned him a pocket edition of Zhuan Falun. I was surprised to see him reading the book in class and after class. Even during physical education when the teacher called everybody to stand in line, he read the book while standing in line. He took the book home. I asked him the next day how he was doing with his reading. He said, “I did not have a chance to read. My parents were in a hurry to read it. I didn’t even get a turn.” It seemed like his whole family looked at the book like a treasure.
Although I was young, I still had many attachments. I remember that one time I got into a fight with a kid in the neighborhood. There were a lot of plastic foam pieces on the ground. We were stomping all over them. I noticed a long nail. An evil thought popped into my head. I stuck the nail into a plastic foam piece in hopes that that kid would step on it, but I ended up stepping on it. I realized it was Master who didn't allow me to accumulate karma.
I enlightened to the fact that practitioners should not fight with anybody. I admitted my wrongdoing to my mother.
Master says:
“There is actually much difficulty when one wants to practice cultivation. One simply cannot succeed in genuine cultivation without the protection of my fashen. As soon as you step out the door, your life may be in danger.” (Zhuan Falun)
During summer break, some young friends and I were at an office complex catching tadpoles in a pond. I was kneeling by the edge of the pond gazing at the water. I saw a tadpole slowly sinking. As I stretched out my hand to follow its downward movement, I lost my balance. At that instant, a thought flashed through my mind: "What would I do if I fell?" Before the thought was completely formulated, I felt myself yanked up by some unknown force.
I looked around but didn't see anyone, and my friend said that he hadn't pulled me back. Right away, I realized it was Master who protected me. Thank you, Master! With Master by my side, I was the most secure. I felt that only Falun Dafa practice was the most meaningful practice.
At that time, I was the youngest in my Fa study group, yet I was the fastest when it came to memorizing Lunyu. Although I was among older practitioners, I was not falling behind on my cultivation path.
1999 was the year the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) banned Falun Dafa. I had just graduated from elementary school and was preparing to enjoy a summer without homework. I had no idea that I was about to face the biggest challenge of my life.
Before that, I had heard that Falun Dafa was facing adversity. But at that young age I couldn't comprehend that an entire nation's resources would be used to persecute a group of kind and gentle citizens. I even didn't quite understand what was meant by "persecution."
Sometimes my father would ask me if I knew where Mother was. I did not know. I asked my father, “Where did Mother go?” Father said, “Mother does not want us any more.”
I found out later that, whenever Mother was getting ready to petition in Beijing for the right to practice Falun Dafa, Father stopped her. For a period of time after that, Mother would hide Falun Dafa books and materials. My parents quarreled a lot, and other practitioners no longer visited our home. I heard later that the CCP had banned Falun Dafa.
Mother stayed in contact with other practitioners. Many practitioners stopped practicing and some even burned their Falun Dafa books. Mother was under tremendous stress. At work, her bosses talked to her about Falun Dafa, and at home, father would fight with her. Friends and family members tried to persuade her to stop practicing Falun Dafa. Yet, Mother did not renounce Falun Dafa.
In 2000, I was in junior high. One day, my classroom teacher asked me, “Is your Mother still practicing?” I was at a loss how to answer her. On the one hand, I wanted to protect Mother, on the other, I knew she would not give up her practice. Dafa forbids telling lies, so I said, “I don’t know.” I was young then. There were lots of things I didn’t understand, and so I lost the opportunity to clarify the truth to my teacher.
I kept asking my parents what was going on, but didn't get a response. Our happy family life disappeared. Gradually, I stopped studying the Fa and doing the exercises, and eventually became just like an ordinary person.
However, the seed of Dafa had been planted in my heart when I was young. Therefore, I still lived by its principles, so I could all the more understand Master’s words, “Man’s drastic moral decline is unfolding throughout the world.” (Zhuan Falun , Volume II)
In 2009, I was motivated by my mother to practice Falun Dafa again. I began to practice again and felt that I had been reborn.
When I returned to school, the first person that I clarified the truth to was my boyfriend.
Even now, I can still recall how he acted when I talked about Falun Dafa. He acted as if he were facing a mighty enemy. Not only did he object, but he also worried that I would commit self-immolation. It was apparent from his behavior how deeply people have been poisoned by the lies about that staged self-immolation.
I patiently untied the knots in his heart. I told him that the people who burned themselves on Tiananmen Square were not practitioners and explained the facts about Falun Dafa and why Jiang Zemin framed and persecuted Falun Gong. He slowly calmed down and admitted that his family had gotten telephone messages from overseas about the practice. Therefore, he had some knowledge about the truth, although he had not given it much thought. Now he felt that being able to listen to the phone messages was because of his predestined relationship.
On behalf of mainland practitioners, I want to thank overseas practitioners for your efforts and your support of fellow practitioners on the mainland. The environment that is created in mainland China today and the efforts you have been making are inseparable. Thank you, fellow practitioners!
At school, I was not able to break through the attachment of fear when clarifying the truth about Falun Dafa. I was very nervous every time and I would shake. I only talked to close friends. At that time, I had not studied the Fa in depth, but gradually made progress.
After graduation, I went to work in a small town. Father and Mother moved with me. Once again, I had a Fa study environment. I discovered that the town did not know the truth about Falun Dafa.
We could not contact fellow practitioners locally, so Mother and I made and distributed Falun Dafa materials. Although the amount we produced was small, this process was also cultivation practice.
I named my printer, my Fa instrument, Little White. When I first brought Little White home, I sent forth righteous thoughts in front of him, disintegrating all evil lives and Communist evil spirits from his inside. Little White was easy to use and also very obedient. However, if I did not practice diligently, he would not function properly.
At the beginning, I bought inferior toners to save money, with the result that self adhesive materials failed to print. I thought, "Nothing is impossible when practicing Dafa." So I communicated with Little White. However, there was no improvement even after some lengthy communication. I was a little discouraged.
I calmed down and looked inward. I asked myself, "When communicating with Little White, did I really believe that everything has a spirit?" The problem could have been resolved by changing the toner, why didn’t I make the change? Finally, I understood that I communicated with my printer not because of my trust in Master and the Fa, but because I did not want to bother, I did not want to change the toner. Was this not the desire to seek an easy way out? I had not rid myself of the attachment to complacency.
I had never touched a printer, let alone repaired one. But I knew about the Tiandixing Forum, an online discussion site, and realized that fellow-practitioners had already fixed the problem and I could find out about it through that Forum.
Although I was making my own Falun Dafa materials and had no contact with other practitioners, with the Tiandixing Forum, a lot of problems could be easily resolved.
I really appreciate the strength of the overall coordination and the extra-ordinariness of Dafa. As long as one has the intention, Master will arrange everything. Fellow practitioners, do not be afraid. Building a material production site is not difficult at all. You just need to keep your righteous thoughts, be mindful of safety issues, and all technical problems can be resolved through the Tiandixing Forum.
Once, I was halfway through a print job when the printer indicated the toner was empty. I didn’t know what to do because I had used up all the spare toners. I opened the cartridge. Sure enough, the black powder was depleted. Hoping against hope, I put the cartridge back. The toner still showed empty. What to do? There were still over ten pages to be printed.
I looked inwards. Did I have any attachment that I needed to let go? I talked to Little White, “Look, there are only a few pages to be printed. Let’s finish printing them.” Then I took the toner cartridge out and put it back again. I did not expect it, but Little White actually started to warm up and printed the rest of the pages.
Perhaps to others who have been producing materials for a long time, this kind of miracle happens all the time, but to me, something like this gives me great encouragement. Because I practice without the benefit of an open celestial eye and wasted ten years before returning to the practice, I held the thought, “Perhaps it’s too late for me. Perhaps there’s no way I can go home with Master. Yet, if I were to give up Dafa, I would be in abject despair and I could not bear it." This occurrence made me much more confident in my cultivation practice. Thank you, Master.
Because I am a young lady, in terms of love and desires, I will be tested, just as Master says:
“There is yet another form of demonic interference that everyone, including each person in our school of practice, will encounter: It is the demon of lust.”
“If your ability of ding is not adequate, it will appear in your dreams during sleep. While you are sleeping or sitting in meditation, it will suddenly show up. If you are male, a beauty will appear. If you are female, the man of your dreams will show up. Yet they will be naked.” (Zhuan Falun)
One time I dreamed that I was on a date with a bespectacled young man. We lingered for quite a while in an aquarium. We had a good conversation and seemed very compatible. We left the aquarium and somehow ended up in a high-class hotel. Just at the moment when he pushed me onto the bed, I blurted out, “I’m a practitioner…” Even before I could finish, the scene disappeared.
I remembered that everything is transformation following mind-intent. I realized that not only when it comes to human emotion, all attachments are transformations following mind-intent. However you like it, that’s how it would come. The more you like it, the more it would try to lure you away from the practice and you would drop down.
Today, I put some of my experiences in writing in hopes of present a reporting to Master and having fellow practitioners learn from each other. I also want to tell people who still do not understand Dafa, this Fa is what disciples risk their lives to protect.
When I was writing this article, Mother was putting up posters. Plainclothes officers followed and arrested her and ransacked our home. The police have not yet confirmed if or where she is being detained or given us a list of her possessions that have been confiscated. Father cannot eat or sleep.
I realized that this is interference from the evil forces. At the same time, I realize I have to rid myself of this attachment to dependency, which I have developed all these years among ordinary people. Moreover, this is an opportunity for me to break through my attachment to worry so that I can clarify the truth to people around me. These are hurdles I must overcome.