(Minghui.org) Greetings, Master. Greetings, fellow Dafa practitioners.
When I was asked to write a sharing for this year's Fa conference, I thought of writing about the things that I've done well so my sharing would benefit other practitioners and help them to improve. But behind the veil of my good intention I found the mentality of showing off, as I wanted to impress others and tell everyone how well I'd done.
In reality, I have stumbled through much of my cultivation up to now. Although I have done a lot of things, I have always tried to cover up my shortcomings, and many of the things I have done have not had satisfactory results or met the requirements of the Fa rectification. I thought it would be more appropriate to write about these things in order to help myself and other practitioners fulfill our grand missions and catch up where we might fall short.
I obtained the Fa almost seven years ago. I was driven to Dafa by illness. I was a young and very successful self-made entrepreneur who was naturally very lost in the delusion of self, and I was walking a very destructive path, even though externally I had the perfect material life. Profit, greed, selfishness, alcohol, and ego made up my world. Master had to use a heavy hammer on me to break through the many layers of self and help me wake up. I wish to thank Master for saving me. I have never been able to see anything, and rarely feel changes in my body except for the physical pain that accompanies me on a regular basis.
My brother was working for the Sydney version of the English Epoch Times when I first came to Dafa. He shared with me the frustrations of this media. Together we worked on developing a business model that we believed would bring the English Epoch Times to every household in Perth profitably. At that stage there was not even a Chinese version of the Epoch Times in Perth.
When we felt this model was ready, we both set out to start it in Perth. It seemed very noble and a grand plan, but underlying it was my strong desire to validate myself and selfishly acquire great virtue. My ego was at its strongest and I was a brand new practitioner who was not ready for the onslaught of tests that quickly followed.
Our wanting to change the existing model drew intense criticism from all over the country, and became a distraction that caused great losses of the positive energy and focus needed to make a business such as this work. I recall that we would regularly get dozens of emails per day from practitioners wanting to have their opinions heard.
Due to being unable to let go of self, pass critical tests well, and create a sacred cultivation environment within the small newspaper team, there were many losses, and this media in Perth eventually stopped distribution shortly after we had launched into every news agency in Perth.
The circulation of the newspaper seemed to be following our cultivation states, which were unable to keep pace. When the circulation numbers became too low to be sustained financially, the decision was made to shut it down in our city. Many positive lessons were learned from this project, including how a practitioner’s thoughts can greatly affect a project. I am confident that if we were able to reach the cultivation standard set by Master, then today the story of the English Epoch Times in Australia would be very different.
During the building of the Epoch Times in Perth, my brother and I developed a stronger understanding of what a successful media model might be for the English media. The challenge for us was that it required start up money and ongoing strong cash flow, neither of which were available at that time, with the global financial crisis damaging my core everyday business, which had funded the Epoch Times up to that point. The decision was then made to build a second business that could provide the initial funding and ongoing cash flow for a large-scale English media company.
This new business is now four years old, and it has not produced the intended result. Much of this shortfall is wrapped up in the ongoing attachment of self-validation and ego. I had left so many gaps in my cultivation that every single error that could have occurred in the business did, in fact, occur, and I have been faced with financial ruin for much of the past four years. This has proven to be a significant distraction.
From the human side it has been a financial disaster, and from the Fa side it has helped me pay off much karma while tempering me in the process. It appears that Master needed to use a heavy hammer on me in this regard. Each time I reached a breaking point, and let go of this business and wanted to close it, miracles happened that put the business back onto the right track. Master keeps helping me let go of my attachments to time, pursuit, showing off, and my ever-enduring ego. The steps for me now are to let go of all my businesses in my mind, and step away from them. If it is predestined for me to be able to financially support Dafa or the media then that is fine, but if not, then I cannot waste too much time on this.
NTD Magazine – The Life Weekly
I was asked to join the NTD team in Australia a few years ago to help find technology and a business model to land NTD back into Australia. Although I was considerably busy with my everyday work and Dafa responsibilities, I felt I could contribute. Behind this decision were some strong attachments to validating myself (especially after the closure of the English Epoch Times) and not being involved in another major project. I felt that I was being left behind and not fulfilling my desire to help Dafa on a large scale. I was also concealing my attachment to being the hero and wanting to impress others.
I could see that NTD needed a technical solution to help people view NTD programs, and some method of large-scale promotion. After about a year working with the team, a technical solution became available with the next problem now being how to tell people about it and NTD.
After a trip to New York two years ago, I worked with some Perth practitioners to help develop a lifestyle magazine that would help promote NTD, its mission, and its programs to the wider Chinese community. This goal was achieved very quickly, and in addition the magazine met the standard for Dafa media by being able to provide salaries and an office, and be run very professionally. I really cherish the cultivation environment provided by these local Chinese practitioners, and it has helped me a lot to improve and realize my cultivation shortcomings.
I have maintained some good habits during the past years that have helped me, and these include two hours of exercise every morning before the family wakes up, and two hours of Fa study on Sonant after the kids go to bed each night. With Perth having only a small group of active practitioners and being an assistant myself, I have to participate in regular speaking engagements for "Free China" and other events, some government work, dragon dancing, and activities to introduce Dafa to more people. I am now in the process of working to present Shen Yun in Perth, along with the Chinese magazine. I look forward to putting my skills to better use to save more people and more widely clarify the truth to the people of Western Australia.
Looking back over these various projects and experiences while writing this sharing, I can clearly see how my wanting to be admired by others and be the hero that saves people has been a big attachment that damaged the purity of everything I was involved in. I thank Master for his great compassion and vow to be more diligent in my actions and cultivation on the final leg of the journey.
Thank you, Master! Thank you, everyone!
(Presented at the 2013 Australian Fa Conference)