(Minghui.org) I began to cultivate Falun Dafa in December 2007. I was walking down the street when I happened to see a former colleague. We were both going to the grocery store. We finished our shopping and met up again to walk home together. On the way she clarified the truth of Falun Gong and persuaded me to withdraw from the CCP (Chinese Communist Party). After I agreed, she told me that if I had the time, I could come to her home and read more about Falun Gong. So, after lunch, I went to her home.
She wanted to play me the DVD Traveling Heaven and Earth through Wind and Rain, but for some reason she could only get it to play without sound. She kept adjusting the DVD player, but still could not get it to work correctly. She was frustrated as she had just used the DVD player the day before and it worked fine. So then she put in a different DVD and the player worked just fine. When she switched back to the truth-clarifying DVD, it would only play without sound. I told her it was okay, that I could read the subtitles. So I watched the entire DVD without sound. I didn't understand everything, but I did remember seeing the Udumbara flower blooming on a Buddha statue in Korea. I also saw police arresting people in Tiananmen Square. In my mind I still did not make the connection between the video and Falun Dafa.
At that time, I did not know anything about Falun Dafa. I just remembered seeing on TV that sometimes the CCP would slander Falun Dafa.
A few days later, Practitioner A loaned me the book Zhuan Falun. She told me it was not an ordinary book, to treat it it with reverence, and to try to finish reading it the first time within a couple weeks. She also told me that if I felt the book was good, I could keep it. Otherwise, I should give it back to her. It was winter by then and my home did not have a heater, so it was often very cold. So I went to the office to read Zhuan Falun . I read every day for nine days, completing one lecture per day. Surprisingly, no one came to bother me while I read.
Then Practitioner A offered to teach me the meditation. When I saw A doing the “Strengthening Divine Powers” the first time, it seemed to me that she changed and appeared as beautiful as Guanyin Bodhisattva. She was only able to sit in the half lotus position at that point. She looked peaceful and beautiful, and I was anxious to learn.
In the beginning, I could not sit even in the half lotus (single leg crossing) position. I also had to lean against something or I would fall over. All this did not discourage me, and I continued the best I could.
After a few nights of practice, I finally remembered all the movements of “Strengthening Divine Powers.” Then Practitioner A taught me the other four exercises. Those movements were easier, but I had a little difficulty remembering all the movements and their order. I got all that down, but I did not have the practice music so that I could do the practice at home.
Then Practitioner A told me where I could purchase an MP3 player, and, with another practitioner's help, the exercise music was put on my new player. They also transferred Master's Fa Lecture in Dalian to my MP3 for me to listen to whenever I had time. After that I began to practice the exercises regularly. At first I struggled with the leg crossing and could only do the single leg for ten minutes. But I still kept practicing the exercises. It's like Master said,
“Usually when a person takes up cultivation he likes to keep practicing. Buddha-nature is something everyone has, and everyone has the wish to cultivate. So, once they’ve learned a practice, a lot of people will keep practicing it the rest of their lives. It doesn’t matter whether he can finish his cultivation or whether he’s obtained a Law, the bottom line is he has a wish to seek the Dao, and he’ll always want to practice it.” (The Sixth Talk, Zhuan Falun)
Master encouraged me. In January of 2008, I saw an Udumbara flower on the window screen. At first I wasn't sure it was an Udumbara. It looked like the flower I had seen in the truth-clarifying video. I did not appreciate what a wonderful and rare experience this was. I asked Practitioner A if it was indeed the Udumbara flower, but she wasn't sure either.
I asked my husband (not a practitioner) to take photos of it. But somehow he was not able to take a photo. Later practitioners B and C came to my home to see the flower. Practitioner C was able to take a photo of the flower right away. Later a dozen practitioners came to see the flower, including some from other cities. I didn't realize that they were all practitioners. Later I invited two colleagues to see the flower and also told them about Zhuan Falun . Unfortunately they chose to not read the book. Later the Udumbara flower bloomed again, twice. Fellow practitioners all encouraged me to cultivate diligently and never give up.
Practitioner A also brought some truth-clarifying materials to me. They really touched me. I wanted to go to out and shout “Falun Dafa is good! Don't believe the staged Tiananmen Square self-Immolation! Everyone come and practice Falun Gong!” I was very excited to clarify the truth to those I worked with, but I did not understand the severity of the persecution and did not pay attention to the environment. Then someone came to my home and complained about my behavior to my husband. My husband was not happy about this and took away my Dafa books. He also told my mother that he was considering handing in the books to the leader of my company.
Practitioner B told me I must get the Dafa books back, and with Master's help, I did. When my husband found out, he did not react and let it go. But as I read more truth-clarifying materials, I became fearful. I started to intentionally avoid practitioners and I even had doubt about continuing my cultivation. But I often had spare time, and I wanted to do the exercises.
In February 2008, I could sit in the lotus position with both legs crossed for over 10 minutes. Practitioner A told me that Master said in Zhuan Falun ,
“Some people are afraid of the pain from crossing their legs, so they uncross their legs and don’t want to go on. And some people can’t stand it if their legs are crossed for a little bit longer. But when they uncross their legs the meditation was in vain. The moment their legs hurt from being crossed, they spring right up and move around, and then they cross them again. We think that’s just not effective.” (The Fourth Talk, Zhuan Falun)
With more time and practice, Practitioner A and I could sit in meditation for a full hour. However, I was soon to realize that cultivation is about more than just exercises. I was still not measuring everything in my life with the Fa.
I can still remember the first time Practitioner A and I went to hand out truth-clarifying materials. We only had 10 flyers. We waited until it was dark outside. We walked a long way, but were still afraid of taking the flyers out. Finally we felt we had to do what we came out to do and stop being afraid. So we pulled out the flyers and put them on the bicycles and motorcycles in the park.
We were nervous and felt like all the people around were watching us. After the ten flyers were distributed, we felt a burden lift. However, once I got home, I still had some fear. I went to bed and covered my head with the blankets. I did not yet know how to send forth righteous thoughts. With encouragement from the material site practitioner, Practitioner A and I routinely went to distribute truth-clarifying materials every weekend. I appreciated the encouragement we received from that practitioner at the materials site. Without her, Practitioner A and I might have quit.
Later we saw the experience sharing articles in Minghui Weekly about establishing small-scale material sites, like flowers blossoming everywhere. With Master's strengthening and help, we established our own site. Without a lot of knowledge of computers, we were able to produce the Minghui Weekly , truth-clarifying brochures, flyers, and Shen Yun Performance DVD covers. We truly experienced Dafa's supernatural power. We are especially grateful to the practitioner who is good at technology for his selfless help getting our material site running smoothly. I am also very grateful to Practitioner A. She cooperated with me without any complaint and she took care of the cost of running the site. Practitioner A did not care about fame. Many times she helped me during my cultivation over the past few years. Thank you, Master. Thank you, fellow practitioners.
When I first began to practice the five exercises, I felt light when I walked, almost as if floating. In the winter of 2008, I once attended group exercises at a practitioner's home. I felt hot air winding around both hands. It felt good and comfortable. This encouraged me to do the exercises.
After I studied the Fa and practiced the exercises for a while, I started to have the status which Master mentioned in Zhuan Falun ,
“Starting today, some people will have chills, as if they’ve got a bad cold, and their bones might even ache.” (The Second Talk, Zhuan Falun)
This lasted the entire winter. During the Chinese New Year, I had a high fever. My husband dragged me to the hospital for treatment. After an infusion, I was full of regret. Initially I did not realize Master was eliminating karma for me, but still considered it an illness. I did not pass my first test of illness karma. Fundamentally I did not truly change my everyday people's notions.
This sickness karma occurred again, twice. One time I coughed so hard I spit up blood. My husband wanted me to go to the doctor, but this time I refused. Then he went to the hospital to purchase some medicine for me, but I would not take it. Then when I coughed hard he got angry with me and said it was not normal for me to refuse medicine when I was so sick. I was not moved and stood my ground. My cough continued for two months. Then one day I realized it was gone.
After I read the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party and Disintegrating Communist Party Culture , I started to clarify the truth. The first person I clarified the truth to was a college student. Afterwards, he withdrew from the probationary Party member class at school and stopped going to the class on Mao's communist theory. Later I went with him to watch the Shen Yun Performing Arts videos and the Zhen-Shan-Ren International Art Exhibition video. He said this gave him great enlightenment for the art work he wished to create. Later his teacher praised him, said that his art work had really improved a lot, and also displayed one of his works at the school. Since then, every year I invite him to watch the Shen Yun Performing Arts video. Every time he says he gains some new enlightenment for his art work.
Last year my mother came to stay with me in my home for a while. Together we watched the Shen Yun Performing Arts video. She enjoyed it and was especially moved by the lyrics. So I wrote them down for her to read whenever she wanted to. Later I gave her the Nine Commentaries and Disintegrating Communist Party Culture to read. It was apparent that the bad notions in her mind were dissolved after she read them. She started to read Dafa books. I had clarified the truth to her before, but this time it made a deep impression. Now she thoroughly understands the truth of Dafa and is very grateful for Master's compassionate salvation.
I also want to confess that I am still struggling with my attachment to fear. I have only been clarifying the truth to family and friends, no one I do not know. Occasionally I have gone out with other practitioners and send forth righteous thoughts.
With the progress of Fa-Rectification, the practitioner who is good at technology told me how to clarify the truth via phone calls. He also emphasized to me repeatedly about the safety issues mentioned on the Minghui website.
The first time I clarified the truth on the phone, I did not know where to make the call. I walked back and forth on the street a few times and still was afraid of taking the cell phone out to make calls. Then I got tired and finally took out my phone. My hand was shaking and I dialed the number incorrectly several times. Master saw my fear. He encouraged me with good results on my first calls. Many people who got the phone call listened sincerely. Gradually I got rid of the fear and also knew I needed to send forth righteous thoughts while making the phone calls. After a while, I only wanted to make phone calls instead of passing out flyers.
When I had the desire for comfort and studied Fa less, I frequently had problems with my phone. When I saw Practitioner A had a smart phone, I started to dislike my regular phone. In the end, my phone malfunctioned and I could not even turn it on. I realized my every thought needed to conform to the Fa, and I needed to keep up with Fa study, otherwise I would be taken advantage of by the old forces and be interfered with while saving sentient beings.
I know I need to study Fa well, to gain a deeper understanding of the Fa principles. I need to do the exercises and clarify the truth. I also know I need to send forth righteous thoughts. These were the three things that I need to do every day. In addition, I also have many human notions I need to eliminate. But I know Master will never give up on me.
Another reason I wrote this article was to tell fellow practitioners that no matter how well we cultivate ourselves, how long we have been cultivating ourselves, how well we do the three things, and whether our articles can be published, we should all submit our articles to share with each other. This is an expression of our gratitude to Master for His compassionate salvation and for our cherished time to be together with Master. Otherwise, we will have regrets in the future.