(Minghui.org) As a young practitioner, my major issue since beginning cultivation has always been the attachment to lust and sentimentality.

For many years I was unable to pass this test, and brought upon myself a lot of heavy interference. I once thought it was impossible to get rid of these attachments.

I had always thought cultivation meant doing the three things as much as possible during the day. So whenever I failed to control myself, I always found an excuse such as, “I failed because I haven't been studying the Fa enough,” “I didn't practice today, so I was interfered with and then I failed,” “I practiced and studied the Fa, but I didn't send righteous thoughts properly today, so I fell.” I thought cultivation was as simple as keeping up the three things every day, and thought that if I did this, then my cultivation path would become very smooth and easy, as if I had "consummation insurance."

Master said:

"In practicing cultivation, you are not making real, solid progress on your own, which would effect great, fundamental changes internally. Instead, you rely on my power and take advantage of powerful external factors. This can never transform your human nature into Buddha-nature. If every one of you can understand the Fa from the depths of your mind, that will truly be the manifestation of the Fa whose power knows no boundary—the reappearance of the mighty Buddha Fa in the human world!" ("Cautionary Advice," from Essentials for Further Advancement)

When I had time to practice and study the Fa a lot, I felt very strong, but as soon as the tests of lust and sentimentality came, they came on so strongly that I always failed. So my cultivation was very unstable. I had ups and downs all the time which reflected that I had not truly cultivated my xinxing, I had not truly understood the Fa, and was relying on Master's power to elevate, instead of truly cultivating myself.

I then developed anxiety. I felt that I had to practice and study the Fa as soon as possible during the day and before I did anything else, so that I wouldn't experience interference. The result was that I could never keep up, and my rigid mentality and attachment of pursuit made it impossible for me to elevate.

I was very confused, so I decided to read the experience sharing articles of fellow practitioners on the Minghui website, about the issue of lust and sentimentality. After reading several of them, I realized they all had one thing in common. The disciples who passed the test always looked inside and directly faced the interference, enduring a lot of mental pain, after which their attachment disappeared.

I then finally understood the reason it had been impossible for me to pass this test for so many years. I was not willing to endure pain or to sacrifice myself—I always gave myself excuses to indulge in my attachments, and was only seeking external means to elevate myself without having to do true cultivation.

I thought cultivating in Dafa meant that if I filled myself with the Fa every day and did the three things, the Fa would automatically transform my mind and elevate me, so I would not even need to experience any tests. I discovered that cultivating the Fa means that our righteous faith in Dafa is reflected in the sacrifices we are willing to make in order to elevate our xinxing and assimilate to the characteristic of the universe, Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance.

Since realizing this, whenever I start experiencing a strong feeling of lust or sentimentality, I immediately oppose it, and tell myself, “If I have to suffer some mental pain in order to let go of this attachment, so be it, I will not be moved no matter how uncomfortable it is. As I endure, I am elevating myself. Even if the pain is so much that I were to die, then I would rather die a cultivator than live as an ordinary person.” I then focus on eliminating these thoughts until they disappear.

The result is that the tests are not nearly as difficult as before, and I am no longer controlled by the demon of lust and sentimentality.

Master said in Zhuan Falun:

"Cultivation depends on one’s own efforts, while the transformation of gong is done by one’s master."

I finally gained a new understanding of these words, and my anxiety, my attachment to time and to doing things has disappeared, and I am now able to elevate myself quickly through true cultivation.

This is just my understanding at my current level. Please point out anything inappropriate.

Category: Improving Oneself