(Minghui.org) Due to my negligence, the old forces took advantage of me twice in these past few days. Fortunately, I corrected the problem by looking inward and sending righteous thoughts.
Work was a little slow one day. I went to the office next door, where just one other colleague happened to be. I didn't plan on staying there for long, but he kept engaging me in conversation.
He started telling me about his frail wife who was always picking on him. He was very depressed. I learned from our conversation that the reason for his wife's attitude was due to his affairs.
I advised him to be considerate of his wife, etc., similar to the comments a non-practitioner would make. I saw him again upon leaving the office at 5:00 p.m. To my surprise, he told me that he'd be very happy if we could be together in our next lives, and would do anything for me. I responded only with a smile and thought, “I don't want my next life to be in this world.” However, to my surprise, I felt pleased when thinking back on his comments.
I couldn't get up later that night to send righteous thoughts and felt very weak at exercise time the next morning. I forced myself to finish the exercises, but couldn't study the Fa because I was so tired.
After I became clear-minded, I started looking inward for the cause. I was disturbed at my strong attachment to sentiment, lust and desire. Lacking righteous compassion was yet another loophole. My kind words to him were short of rationality, and then taken advantage of by the demon of sentiment. These degenerated substances of sentiment, lust and desire interfered with my normal exercises and Fa-study. I shouldn't have been moved when my colleague implied how much he liked me, yet I found his trust and appreciation enjoyable at the time. I replayed his comments several times... my loophole was obvious.
I immediately started sending righteous thoughts, eliminating my false self whose kindness lacked rationality, my false self who enjoys being appreciated and flattered, and is attached to sentiment, lust and desire. Next, I eliminated all evil forces and factors that utilized my false self to interfere. My activities returned to normal after sending righteous thoughts a few times.
I went to my cousin's wedding a few days later. My cousin had attended an art school and two of her friends from the school sang songs at the wedding. I was so carried away by their singing that I forgot to eat my food. I thought that professional singers couldn't have done a better job, and even liked the male singer. From that afternoon and throughout the evening, scenes of lust and bad thoughts emerged continuously in my mind. I thought I'd done a good job clearing my field, so how did these things re-emerge?
I restrained my bad thoughts, but didn't think too much of it. I got extremely tired again at the time for sending righteous thoughts. I looked inward and found my hidden attachment to sentiment, lust and desire through the sentimental songs at the wedding. Old forces again took advantage of my attachments and gave me bad thoughts. I hurried to send righteous thoughts and quickly cleaned them out.
I was quite disturbed by the two instances of interference. The old forces paid close attention to my lack of righteous thoughts in everyday life, and then took advantage. I knew that my colleague had special feelings for me, and I should have avoided chatting with him about his family life. If I'd maintained strong righteous thoughts during the wedding, I would have reminded myself not to be so affected and carried away by the sentimental songs. I'm writing this as an aid for identifying and completely eliminating my attachments. I hope that my lesson will serve as an alert for practitioners to treat everything in our lives with righteous thoughts.
Category: Improving Oneself
