(Minghui.org) Although I am a veteran practitioner who began cultivation before 1999, I didn't formally join a local Fa-study group until 2005. Since then I have been studying the Fa and doing projects with my local practitioners.
Interestingly, more than 95% of my fellow practitioners are female. As one of the few male practitioners, I've had my fair share of muddleheaded days when I developed inappropriate thoughts about certain women. I would like to share my lessons on how I got rid of my sentimentality and lust towards the opposite sex.
As the saying goes, "Opposites attract." Human beings have sentimentality. When a woman and a man are together long enough, they may well develop affection and desire for each other. Such sexual attraction may be hard to contain, especially for the man.
As cultivators, we can't behave like everyday people and allow our emotions to control us. We must suppress and eventually relinquish our desires.
Of course, it is always easier said than done. When we indeed have a crush on someone, it is very hard to put the brakes on it. If we lack a deep understanding of the Fa or strong righteous thoughts, our vulnerability will certainly be taken advantage of by the old forces and result in further tribulations and losses.
I once spent a lot of time with several younger practitioners, with whom I clicked right away and got along with really well. Gradually I became attracted to these women and sometimes even had strong sexual desires towards them. Of course, I never crossed the line physically.
Later I realized that continuing on this path was extremely dangerous. Some of our Dafa disciples realized they got arrested or sentenced precisely because of their inappropriate relationships with the opposite sex.
I intensified my Fa-study and discovered I had never completely relinquished my lust and desires. I saw that I must rectify myself in this regard if I were to have any success in my cultivation.
I made up my mind to do better, yet at the beginning I didn't know what was the best way to approach this problem. I stopped going to the Fa-study and project meetings to avoid the female practitioners. I thought such isolation would cool me off. Later I realized that lack of group study and discussion had an adverse effect on my cultivation and truth-clarification efforts. After all, we should form a whole body. Avoidance was just a formality and the key was to work hard to get rid of my attachments to lust and desire.
Then how to get rid of lust and desire? As I see it, we must first abandon our sentimentality. Sexual attraction often arises from our affections. Moreover, such feelings are usually mutual between the man and the woman.
There was a young woman who had worked with me on Dafa projects for quite a few years. Whatever she needed, I was there right away. We often made truth-clarification materials and ate meals together.
I felt I had a cordial relationship with her, nothing out of the ordinary. However, rumors flew among our families and other practitioners that I was dating her and something inappropriate probably had happened between us.
Why did everyone think that way? I found that I had strong sentimentality towards this practitioner, an attractive young woman. I enjoyed being with her and had great pleasure doing things for her.
But why did I feel this way about her? When I dug further, I saw my attachments to lust and desires deep in my heart. I saw the imminent danger and knew my desires would eventually destroy her and me if I didn't stop right away.
I worked hard to eliminate my affections for her. When my sentimentality disappeared, I no longer treated her any different from other practitioners.
I now remain alert all the time, nipping any slight bit of lust or desire in the bud. I make sure to mind minor details while around female practitioners.
Sans sexual desires, now I have no concerns about interacting with female practitioners. I just do my best to help them with computer, cell phone, or any other technical problems they encounter.
In my female counterparts' words, they are all happy to seek my help since I am very righteous and they sometimes even forget about my gender.
The above is just my two cents. Please point out anything inappropriate.