(Minghui.org) I have written down some of my cultivation experiences to share with others and respectfully ask fellow practitioners to point out my mistakes and correct them.
I had a lot of internal conflict and I was pretty stubborn. For example, I thought that I was always right and better than others. I liked telling other people what to do. If they didn't do what I said or their opinions were different from mine, I could not keep myself from trying to persuade them. Sometimes I would argue over just one sentence until I won. These human mentalities and attachments caused me a great deal of interference. I could not concentrate on studying the Fa and sending forth righteous thoughts. When I did the exercises, I could not enter tranquility and this caused me to have frequent headaches. I often had conflicts with my sister and fellow practitioners.
One time I argued with another person over something trivial and left feeling uneasy. On my way home I thought, “I will never go to their place again.” When I got home I was still angry and could not sleep. I recalled what Master said in Fa-Lecture at the Conference in Florida, U.S.A.
“Dafa disciples often have some arguments with each other over things related to spreading the Fa (hong-fa) and rectifying the Fa. I think this is normal. But if you argue endlessly, refusing to give ground, then there's a problem. Why is that? It's guaranteed that you haven't examined yourself.”
I picked up Essentials for Further Advancement and started to sincerely study the Fa. The more I read, the more I felt that my behavior was wrong. However, I was still looking outward and using other people's inadequacies as excuses for my behavior. Then I studied the article Further Understanding in which Master said,
“I couldn’t have explained the matter of Buddha-nature and demon-nature to you any more clearly. The tests for you to pass are in fact meant to remove your demon-nature. Nonetheless, from time to time you have used various excuses or Dafa itself to hide it, and failed to improve your xinxing while missing opportunities again and again.
“Do you realize that as long as you’re a cultivator, in any environment or under any circumstances, I will use any troubles or unpleasant things you come across—even if they involve work for Dafa, or no matter how good or sacred you think they are—to eliminate your attachments and expose your demon-nature so that it can be eliminated, for your improvement is what’s most important.
“If you are able to succeed in improving yourself this way, what you do then, with a pure heart, will be the best and most sacred.”
I read this Fa several times and discovered that I had demon-nature. My thoughts were not in line with the Fa. How could I be worthy of the title of “Dafa disciple”? How could I be described as magnificent and sacred, or said to be capable of doing the three things well and saving sentient beings. I dug deeper into my thoughts and found that I did not respect my elder sister. I didn't think she had much knowledge and I thought that I understood things better than she did. My attachments to fighting, showing-off, and being right were fully exposed. Even more exposed was my heart that had been polluted by the mentalities and attachments formed in every day life.
I was startled and had a lot of regrets. I was crying as I knelt down in front of Master's picture. I was crying so hard that I could hardly talk. I said to Master's picture, “I was wrong. Master, please help me. I am ashamed that I have not lived up to the requirements of a Dafa practitioner. It is Master that has saved me. I have no excuse to let Master down or the sentient beings that I am to save.”
I sat in the lotus position, erected my palm, and sent forth a firm thought, “resolutely negate any arrangement made for me by the old forces, clean out any evil beings and elements not in accordance with the Fa inside my spatial field.” After sending forth righteous thoughts my whole body felt light, as if a heavy burden had been removed.
Looking back, I felt other practitioners were cultivating better than me and I was ashamed by my previous behavior.
One afternoon, a practitioner in his sixties suffered an apparent stroke. The coordinator of the village told him to come to me for assistance in sending forth righteous thoughts. When I saw him stumbling and having difficulty talking, I said, “Don't go back this afternoon. Join us for group Fa-study, exercises and sending forth righteous thoughts.”
In the afternoon we shared our experiences and helped him find his attachments. We discovered a lot of attachments, but the most obvious one was that he didn't do well in studying the Fa and sending forth righteous thoughts. For an entire year he could not study Zhuan Falun . He didn't even study the book once or do the three things. When we pointed out these loopholes to him, he kept making excuses. He said his old age and poor eyesight prevented him from seeing the text clearly, so he could only listen to others' reading, etc. While we were discussing this with him, he became so sleepy that he could barely keep his eyes open. We shared experiences, studied the Fa and sent forth righteous thoughts until midnight, but his condition didn't improve. His mother called to ask him to come home. We decided that he should stay the night with us and we would continue the next day.
The next morning, we started to look for the causes of his situation by looking inward through Fa-study and sharing. We found that we did not truly achieve the effect of a whole body. We did not regard his issue as our own issue from the bottom of our hearts. Seeing that he was not very diligent and had attachments, we were resentful and put ourselves above him. We realized that we should treat him the way a traditional Chinese medicine doctor would. They would first get familiar with the situation before prescribing medicine that was aimed specifically at the symptoms. We did not examine ourselves according to the Fa's requirement after seeing his situation.
Through Fa-study and sharing we found many problems. We were following a mold made by the old forces. We were actually helping the old forces instead of helping this fellow practitioner. After clearly seeing the problems, we adjusted our way of thinking, enhanced our righteous thoughts and continued to study the Fa with this practitioner. However, he still did not have a very strong main consciousness. He was stuttering and would forget right away after reading a sentence. We were not moved, as we realized that this was the old forces' interference. We patiently guided this practitioner to read sentence by sentence. This process was really cultivating each one of us. Everyone found some bad thoughts in themselves. Such as, “It's too slow to read in this way. We can only study 2 or 3 pages in a half day.” It was especially annoying because this practitioner always stuttered when he read.
The practitioner's mother called again and asked him to come home. We firmly resisted any interference and disintegrated those rotten beings. We formed an indestructible whole body and did not leave room for the evil. The practitioner was not stuttering as badly while reading the Fa and his main consciousness became stronger. After reading a certain paragraph he said sincerely, “What I just read of Master's Fa seems to be directed at me. I am more conscious now and I must do the three things better from now on.”
The practitioner's body was always leaning one way and his palm leaned that direction too. I told him repeatedly during the first 5 minutes of righteous thoughts that this was happening. I said to him. “This is not right. The old forces have tricked me. This is not your problem, it's the evil behind you interfering with us while we are sending forth righteous thoughts to eliminate the evil.” I immediately sent forth strong righteous thoughts towards the evil behind him. I said, “Completely disintegrate all of the evil that interferes with Dafa practitioners' helping Master to rectify the Fa and save sentient beings.” After this, the practitioner's body didn't lean sideways any more and his palm was upright.
After sending forth righteous thoughts the practitioner stood up and started walking normally. The stroke symptoms had disappeared, and he was normal again. One of the practitioners participating in sending forth righteous thoughts who had his celestial eye open said, “When we were sending forth righteous thoughts, I saw a dark cloud emitting from him, and a dark matter disintegrated.
Through the coordination of Fa-study and sending forth righteous thoughts, we improved as a whole. We realized that acting as one body did not mean we would walk exactly the same steps. Nor would we all work on the same projects together. By being earnest and solid in cultivation according to the Fa, we achieve what Master has asked of us: “Dafa disciples are one”[1] and “together there's a form, and separated there are particles” [2].
Master said in 'Cautionary Advice' of Essentials for Further Advancement ,
“If every one of you can understand the Fa from the depths of your mind, that will truly be the manifestation of the Fa whose power knows no boundary—the reappearance of the mighty Buddha Fa in the human world!”
Once again I thank Master for his enormous benevolence!
Fellow practitioners please kindly point out any inappropriate understandings.
[1] Teaching the Fa at the 2004 Western U.S. Fa Conference [2] Explaining the Fa During the 2003 Lantern Festival at the U.S. West Fa Conference