(Minghui.org) From January to April this year, several itchy red spots suddenly appeared all over my body. Later they developed into several large festering areas that discharged pus. My body was very sensitive and I could feel the pressure from other dimensions. During this tribulation, the pressure was so overwhelming that when the situation became intense I couldn't move and could only lay in bed.
I live in a comfortable environment and so my ability to endure hardships is not good. At the beginning of this tribulation, I became depressed as if the sky were falling. I thought that as long as I cultivated diligently and conformed to the requirements of the Fa, the interference would vanish immediately and my body should recover right away. I kept doing the three things every day, but with a strong attachment to pursuit, my mood fluctuated with my physical condition.
The situation went on like that, until one day my condition was really at its worst and no ordinary methods worked. I thought, “This is it, how bad can it get?” When I truly let go of it, my state took a significant turn for the better.
During that period of time I truly felt Master was with me. Master had taken away the real karma from other dimensions, and only left a small surface fraction for me to endure. When I studied the Fa I often saw direct hints of the notions and attachments I should eliminate, such as pursuit, thinking I could control the outcome, the attachment to good looks and my reputation, etc... I found a new attachment almost every day and let go of it. As I identified more and more attachments and rejected them with righteous thoughts, the bad substances were eliminated layer by layer.
The biggest test was that my physical condition didn't fully recover all at once. Some practitioners' sharing articles on Minghui.org said that as long as they genuinely upgraded themselves, the sickness karma ended immediately. For me it was different as the time was quite long.
Master said,
“Each person's situation is very complex, and it's not the case that a person can pass every test with just that same, small amount of righteous thoughts. Some require quite a large amount of righteous thoughts to get through; some can be passed only after the attachment to one's life is cast off. What is cultivation? It is marching toward godhood! [Would it work if] Master bore everything for you, Dafa protected you no matter what danger you encountered, and you had an umbrella of safety over your head? If there weren't any tribulations at all, how leisurely that style of cultivating would be--who wouldn't cultivate? Things are in fact very complicated.” (“Teaching the Fa in San Francisco, 2005”)
As I kept studying the Fa, I had a better understanding of the following teachings by Master:
“I just said that the principles of cultivators and those of ordinary people are opposite. Human beings believe that a life of comfort is a good thing, while Dafa disciples believe that having everything be easy is a bad thing when it comes to their improvement and that discomfort is conducive to improvement. (Applause) Have you managed to turn around your fundamental concepts?” (“Teaching the Fa in San Francisco, 2005”)
Then wasn't it a good thing when I had some physical discomfort? Why wasn't I happy? As I truly turned around the notion, I didn't feel depressed any more, instead I felt relaxed and sometimes even happy. How fortunate it is to be a cultivator—whatever we encounter we know what to do, because we have Master.
In addition to cultivating oneself well, Dafa disciples should clarify the facts, send righteous thoughts and do the three things well, no matter if one is amid a tribulation or not. Here are a few things that are most impressive to me.
When I was doing media interviews during Shen Yun performances in Taipei and Keelung, the back of my right hand and my left feet developed serious ulcers and it was very difficult to walk. After I worked with all my might to finish the interviews for the performances in Taipei, I got an interim arrangement to cover the interviews in Keelung. It was a very hard decision so I told the coordinator I needed to think about it.
Knowing that this was my mission, I went to Keelung. I still remember now that there was some distance from the Keelung train station to the theater and there was also a bridge. With every step I took, it was difficult and I kept asking myself if I could put down life and death. Yes! Then I could walk another step. Once I arrived at the theater my foot quit hurting and the people I interviewed didn't notice that I was in pain. The outcome of the interviews was very good.
Another time, after I endured sickness karma all day long at work, I felt as though I had no more righteous thoughts and my whole body was in so much pain that I couldn't handle it any more. I wanted to ask a fellow practitioner to study the Fa with me but she missed my call. While I waited at the subway station I wondered what to do, and I decided to go to a tourist attraction site to clarify the truth. Once I started to talk to people there and tell them the facts of Falun Gong, I totally forgot about my discomfort. That evening I broke my personal record of persuading people to quit the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) and its affiliates. After I returned home my whole body felt very comfortable.
I was truly grateful for Master's mercy. Because it was winter, I could wear long-sleeved shirts, so the people around me who weren't practitioners didn't notice my condition. My colleagues complimented me and said that I looked young and healthy. I told them it's because I practice Falun Dafa.
As I improved bit by bit in my daily cultivation, the tribulation of sickness karma passed. I am deeply thankful to Master, fellow practitioners and the Minghui website. Dafa disciples should read Minghui every day. Reading Minghui articles every day was crucial while I had my tribulation. There were articles about practitioners breaking through serious illness tribulations. I was impressed and encouraged by other practitioners' righteous thoughts. Minghui also helps us understand the Fa's requirements during the current Fa-rectification period.
I have a bad temper. While I can control my temper at work, I'm relaxed at home and often lose my temper with my family. Since I feel my family members aren't diligent cultivators, I was especially impatient with them. Now I realize this is also an attachment to emotion, as I'm worried that they would have trouble if they didn't cultivate diligently. Actually everyone's cultivation is guided and watched over by Master. The same applies to my attitude towards fellow practitioners.
I often feel troubled that this practitioner has this attachment, and that one has that attachment, etc... I now realize that it's all an illusion. In fact whenever I see someone exhibiting behavior that bothers me, it's often a reflection of the same attachment in me. The attachment prevents me from noticing and eliminating it. After I let go of it, everything becomes smooth and it's easy to communicate with that practitioner. When I stick to my notion and give practitioners a fixed label in my mind and carry an attitude of exclusion, the whole environment is wrong.
I remember reading an article on Minghui about maintaining a humble attitude. After stumbling many times I have a deep realization of it. When a cultivator is full of pride, he believes in himself rather than Master, and he's validating himself rather than the Fa. I used to have a misunderstanding that what I enlightened to was absolutely right. In fact the principle is correct at my level, but there are higher principles at higher levels.
When I blindly stick to the principle I think is right, and even use it to judge others, I am wrong. Not only can't I elevate my cultivation level, but I've also created obstacles for others. Aren't the old forces like that? If one cannot correct it he may eventually be on the opposite side of the Fa-rectification and come to a terrible end.
It's not that we first eliminate all human thoughts and then start cultivating. On the contrary, cultivation is about choosing the human side or a divine side when human thoughts come out. If we keep choosing the divine side on the path of cultivation, then we are progressing towards godhood.
For example, once I felt very reluctant to go to a tourist site for truth clarification. My mind was filled with fear and I just wanted my life to be comfortable. Every step I took from the subway station to the tourist site was hard and my footsteps were heavy. But as a Fa-rectification period Dafa disciple, I just held one thought—move forward! That day I again broke my personal record of persuading people to quit the CCP and its affiliates.
Writing an experience sharing article is a process of making breakthroughs in cultivation. I'm grateful to Master and fellow practitioners for this opportunity. Let's walk the final steps well and save more sentient beings.