(Minghui.org) Before I began practicing Falun Dafa, I was a person who paid a lot of attention to fame and gain. From elementary school to college, I was an excellent student. If I wanted something, I would do whatever it took to get it. During my college years, I had good grades. In order to further myself I maintained very good relationships with the department leaders, but I did not have any close friends among my fellow students.
Hitting Rock Bottom
With a strong pursuit of gain in my career, I was not a good person. I hung around whoever I thought I could use. In my department (fine arts) there were many male teachers. I put on heavy makeup everyday and tried to get what I needed with my good looks. I thought very highly of myself.
In order to look youthful and attractive, I was always on a diet and took teas and medicines. I took tons of diet pills. My body became very slim, but my health was ruined. I was very weak, easily got tired and I did not have my period for two years. I finally developed urinary and bowel incontinence and had bloody stools. I was diagnosed with colorectal cancer. Although I just graduated from college and got everything I wanted, I was finished. At that moment, I realized what was important in life. I was terrified.
Second Chance
This happened seventeen years ago, before the persecution of Falun Dafa began. I knew people were practicing the Falun Dafa exercises in a school near my home. I joined them in order to improve my health. I got up at 5 a.m. and did the exercises for one hour every morning before I went to work.
One of the practitioners told me I should read the book since this practice is not only about exercises, so I obtained a copy of Zhuan Falun . At the beginning, I did not feel that I had any major problems with my moral character. However, the more I read the book, the more I understood what the standard of goodness really was and how far I was from being a good person. I realized that I suffered this illness because I had so much karma from my previous lives. I decided I would practice Dafa and change. Within two weeks, my bowel movements became normal and I no longer needed to take medicine for it. My dermatitis disappeared. Within 6 months, my period returned. Master gave me a second life.
Eliminating Resentment
I began to hold myself to a higher standard. As soon as I graduated, I got a position in the human resources office of my university, and many of my colleagues envied me. I am in the same office with the Party head of our university. The head of my university did not like the Party head, therefore he did not like me. He intentionally made things difficult for me whenever I needed him to approve something.
I had just begun cultivating. I knew I should be a good person and I knew the university head was giving me opportunities to improve my xinxing. However, no one had ever treated me like this before. Several times I felt I could not take it and I cried.
Master said:
"In this universe, there is another principle: If you have suffered a lot, the karma in your body will be transformed. Because you have suffered, however much you have endured will all be transformed into an equal amount of de. Isn’t this de what a practitioner wants? You will gain in two ways, as your karma is also eliminated. If the person did not create this situation for you, how could you upgrade your xinxing? If both you and I are nice to each other and sit there in harmony, how can it be possible to increase gong? It is precisely because that person has created this conflict for you that there is this opportunity to improve xinxing, and you can make use of it to upgrade your own xinxing. Isn’t your xinxing raised this way? You have gained in three ways. You are a practitioner. With xinxing upgraded, won’t your gong also increase? You have gained four ways in one shot. Why shouldn’t you thank that person? You should sincerely thank him from the bottom of your heart—it is actually so." (Lecture Four in Zhuan Falun )
Later I studied Master's lecture "What is Forbearance?" (Essentials for Further Advancement) I thought to myself, “I am Dafa practitioner. I want to follow Master and return to my true home.” I no longer had anger or grievance towards the university head.
Letting Go of Loss and Gain
No matter what I faced, I knew I should look inward. I knew that no matter where I was, I should be a good person. Since I did not fight for my reputation or benefits at my work, the other teachers and school leaders all knew I was a good person, therefore they had better knowledge of Dafa and didn't believe the Party's vicious propaganda.
I often went to a painter's shop when my school needed work done. The owner of the shop wanted to keep a good relationship with us. During major holidays he brought me gifts. Sometimes it was hard to refuse him, so I bought gifts for him in return. If he did something for me, I would pay him back from my own pocket. I asked him to put the exact amount on the receipts (some people asked to put more in order to pocket the difference). He said he did not see many people like me. He asked if I had any belief. I told him I practice Falun Gong. He asked me many questions about Falun Gong and learned that the government's propaganda were all lies. He said, “Falun Gong is really good. There aren't many people as good as Falun Gong practitioners in today's world.” He asked his employees to treat me extra nicely.
Falun Dafa Changed Me
Falun Dafa totally changed me. Whenever I see my old college classmates they say, “You don't use heavy makeup anymore. You look much better. How is it that you look younger and younger? They also asked, “Why didn't you try to be a school principal? We thought you wanted to at least be a principal.” I told them that all the positive changes in me are because I practice Falun Dafa. If I hadn't started practicing, I probably wouldn't be alive today. I am no longer a person who only seeks to further myself. I now wish to be a good person and think of others first.
Some of my old classmates said they feel very easy and relaxed around me now and they've learned a lot from me. I told them that I don't pursue things like before, but gain what is meant to be mine naturally. Other teachers took an entire year to prepare for the title exams. But I only spent one month preparing and I was the only one who got the title among all teachers in my city that year. They all said I was really lucky. I told them I am a Falun Dafa practitioner. My Master will arrange the best for us.
Thank you Master! I now know the true meaning of life.
