(Minghui.org) My name is Astrid Fallon, and I started practicing Falun Gong in 2012. I am 35 years old and from Hanover, Germany. I'm an industrial engineer. Falun Dafa has brought incredible changes in my life and I would like to share with you my cultivation experience.
My Life Before I Started Practicing Falun Gong
A few years ago, my husband and I started to run a company we took over from my father. We were not married at the time. We worked very hard to keep the company going and didn't get married until 2007. We wanted to start a family, but I wasn't able to get pregnant. What made things worse was that a few days after we got married, my husband was diagnosed with lymphoma.
The following days were exhausting, and our marriage was facing a challenge. We were determined to start a family in spite of the difficulties. Because my husband was undergoing chemotherapy, we could not have children through the normal channels, so we opted for artificial insemination. My first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage. We tried again a few months later. However, during a trip I suddenly went deaf in my left ear, and for hours I felt dizzy and vomited. Such symptoms repeated a number of times. I went to see a doctor, and when the results came back, I learned that I had Ménières disease. The cause of the disease was not clear and I heard that, as time went on, the patient could go completely deaf.
My second artificial insemination was successful, and I became pregnant with twins. However, the whole pregnancy was very unstable, coupled with sudden periodic deafness, endometrorrhagia, and early contractions. Threatened with possible epilepsy I had to have a cesarean section nine weeks before the due date. The babies had to stay in the hospital for nine weeks, but I had to go back to work two weeks after the cesarean. Our company was not doing very well due to the impact of the economic crisis, and we were struggling to survive.
The periodic deafness and dizziness came back again and sometimes lasted for ten hours at a time. I couldn't take care of the babies, so my mother moved in to help out. My husband was exhausted and worked very hard. Our dream of family happiness was completely shattered, and there was no love or sympathy between us.
I had to take psychoactive drugs to cope with the mental pressure and I relied on Cortexin to keep my energy up. I was totally exhausted with taking care of two babies and managing the struggling company. I was filled with fear for what was going to happen in the future. I couldn't do anything independently.
In September 2012, my husband sent me and our twins to a rehabilitation center for mothers and babies by the Baltic Sea for three weeks. I had plenty of free time there and I tried to clear my mind. By then I had become very negative and pessimistic. I couldn’t bring myself to feel happy for anyone, and was full of jealousy and resentment. I felt sorry for myself and thought things were so unfair. I could only think of my own misery.
While I was there, I was asked to fill out a form and write down what I planned to do when I returned home. So I wrote that I wanted to become a friendly, positive, kind, and considerate person again. With this aspiration I returned home.
Saved by Dafa
Two days after I got home, I attended a friend's birthday party. I knew her mom was practicing Falun Gong and that my friend had also started to practice. She told me that Falun Gong was not only about doing the exercises but also required practitioners to conduct themselves according the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. I was attracted to the practice and felt this was a compass I needed in my life and that it could help me become a better person. She also told me that the practice had something to do with the Buddha School and talked about karmic relationships. Although it all sounded rather unfamiliar, my heart was moved, and when she offered to bring me a copy of Falun Gong in German, I happily accepted the offer.
I wanted to read the book before I went to join the group exercises, because I wasn't sure if I could accept Eastern ideas and beliefs given my Christian background.
A few days later, while traveling on a train, I took out the book and started reading. Even though I didn't quite understand the concept of “cultivation,” I was deeply engrossed in the book. I remember that I felt really happy when I finished reading the last page.
A week later, I learned the exercises. Even today, I can still remember the warm current that ran through my body when I did them. I started to read the main book of Falun Gong – Zhuan Falun . Three weeks later, I stopped taking Cortexin. I told myself: "How can the exercises help me if I keep taking drugs."
For a few weeks at the beginning, the phrase “be saved” always came to my mind, and I felt I had already been saved.
I felt nauseous for the first few weeks. I couldn't drink hot chocolate and felt uncomfortable as soon as I thought of meat. I wasn't bothered by it as I knew that my body was being cleansed, as mentioned in the book.
Then I started to experience a black discharge that went on for two weeks, then stopped. The strange thing was that I wasn't upset about it at all. Soon after, I began to have regular menstruation, and I could feel that my body was functioning again. It was incredible. I could even feel the monthly ovulation process.
I tried my best to assimilate myself to the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. I thought a lot and looked within, and I also started to think about the relationship between me and my husband. I realized that there were many things I did wrong in the past. I tried to be close to him and cared about his work. I also encouraged him to spend more time at home with the children.
I couldn't believe how easy things became. I could feel him start loving me again and that we'd left behind what had happened in the past. It was such a wonderful feeling--beyond words. Our marriage was very shaky for some time, but now we are a loving couple again and we enjoy a happy life together.
So many of my problems and fears dissolved in just a few months after I started practicing Falun Gong. Now I feel free from all those worries and fears. My deafness also disappeared, and I have so much more energy. I have found myself again.
Looking Within
Last fall, my 91-year-old grandfather passed away. During the few months before he died he needed intensive care, and I accompanied him on his last journey in this lifetime. My help also reduced the burden on my parents. When my grandfather passed away, I had a relapse of deafness and dizziness. I hadn't felt this way for a long time after I started practicing Falun Gong. The symptoms recurred a number of times, and I became scared and worried.
Through sharing with fellow practitioners, I realized that I must reject my fears and worries.
When the symptoms reappeared, I began to think about why I practiced Falun Dafa and wrote down what came to my mind and started looking within.
I was shocked by what I found and realized many selfish notions. When I first started practicing Falun Gong, I had wanted to be a better person. But I had long forgotten that. I now was doing the exercises because I wanted to have more wisdom and better health so that I could run the company better and my father could retire earlier. I practiced cultivation because I wanted to be recognized so that people would think I was capable of managing the company and that I did a good job in running both the company and my family. I only cared about what other people thought of me.
I also found it hard to clarify the facts to people about Falun Gong. I only talked to my family members and friends, but never participated in public activities to explain the facts and expose the horrible crimes of persecution. I was worried that people would think I was strange.
I taught my children “Falun Dafa is good. Truthfulness-Compassion- Forbearance is good” and we always say this before they go to sleep. I never explained these principles to them or taught them the exercises. Falun Dafa has brought me so many benefits and I know it's the only righteous way--why can't I tell my children about it? How could I prevent my children from becoming honest, truthful, and kindhearted?
I thought through all these issues that day and was determined to rectify the situation.
Last week I went out to distribute truth-clarification flyers. I was a bit nervous and sweat a lot, but I did it. I sent righteous thoughts the entire time. In fact, I could have gone to a different street where nobody knew me, but I decided to do it on my own street. I felt very good that many neighbors saw me handing out flyers.
Now when my children are playing or drawing pictures, I read aloud Zhuan Falun to them. They listen carefully. Lately when my son is playing, he often says quietly, “Falun Dafa is good. Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good.” My daughter also runs to me and asks if we can listen to Dafa music or asks me to read the Fa to her. I'm so happy to have let go of my own notions and know I'm able to give my children something so beautiful and precious.
I haven't had deafness or dizziness symptoms for four weeks now, and I feel I've become strong and confident again.
My feelings are beyond words. Dafa has once again guided me back on the right track. I feel I've found the true meaning of life and guide for my life. I simply could not have resolved so many difficulties without Falun Dafa
I hope that this sharing can help more people understand the wonder and beauty of Falun Dafa, which has helped me completely change my life for the better.
I'm deeply grateful to Master for guiding me on the path of cultivation.
