[Celebrating World Falun Dafa Day] How I Let Go of Resentment and Became a Kind and Dutiful Daughter
(Minghui.org) Before my 40th birthday, I had two wishes, one was to become healthy, and the other was to live far away from my mother.
I have five siblings, and I’m the fourth child. I have suffered from serious health issues since I was very young. I had rickets, and my health issues made me suffer so much that I never had a smile on my face. My mother's nickname for me was, “bad luck.”
My mother looked down on me. She often took my sisters out and made me stay home to wash dishes, mop the floor and do household chores. I always felt so frustrated and sad. My resentment increased every day, and I often argued with my mother. She then beat me mercilessly. Once she even broke the broom beating me. The neighbors couldn’t stand seeing her beat me so hard and asked her, “Why are you treating her like this? When you're old, don’t expect her to take care of you!” She said, “I would never count on her. Even if she gave me a mountain of gold or silver, I wouldn’t care.” It deeply hurt my young heart.
Out of resentment, I often wrote swear words on the walls or in the corners cursing my mother. At that time, I felt that I could never forgive her. After I got married, I rarely went back to her house. Even when I went back, I rarely talked to her. I just couldn’t let go of the resentment and pain.
As time went on, my health worsened. I felt weak and suffered from heart disease. When I slept at night, I often woke up suffocating. I lived on the seventh floor and I had to stop three to four times going up and down the stairs.
The pressure of living, my ill health and the resentment in my heart made me feel that to live was to suffer. I didn’t know how to get rid of these negative feelings. I was only 40 years old. How many more days and nights would I have to suffer through? Every morning, what I saw was another day filled with suffering rather than hope.
Finding Falun Gong and Practicing Its Principles
One day in October 1999, my coworker told me that Falun Gong was very good and it helped to improve health. Since I was suffering so much, and to get rid of my illnesses, I started practicing Falun Gong. When I finished reading Zhuan Falun, I finally understood many principles, such as why people get sick and suffer. I also understood that in order to become healthy, one has to first follow the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance and cultivate one's xinxing.
I worked at a warehouse at that time and often had business interactions with other companies. Prior to the start of my cultivation, sometimes clients would pay me money or give me gifts. I felt lucky to have a good job like that. After I read Zhuan Falun, I suddenly realized that although I did it secretly and nobody knew about it, there are spiritual beings watching. I was merely using my own virtue to exchange it for benefits and money. When I lost all my virtue, I would have to pay back everything. After that, whenever they offered me bribes, I refused and maintained a high moral standard. I followed the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. I disciplined myself and did not drift along with the corrupted public morals.
When my clients later gave me gifts I declined their offers with thanks and told them, “I practice Falun Gong, and my Master teaches me to be a good person. If I would keep doing this, it would be against the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. Please be assured that I won't give you any trouble even if I hadn't received any commissions from you.” My clients were all deeply moved, “Falun Gong is so great. If the officials all practiced Falun Gong, they wouldn’t be corrupt.”
One of my clients witnessed my changes and was so surprised. He was eager to read Zhuan Falun and understand what made me become so noble. After he finished reading, his wife continued and even started practicing Falun Gong. Her diseases all disappeared and she became very healthy.
After I started practicing Falun Gong, I followed the standards of a cultivator and thought of others first. I searched within when faced with conflicts. My diseases disappeared. My legs no longer hurt, and my heart became normal. I felt great. Without these illnesses I felt so happy!
Letting Go of My Resentment to My Mother
Dafa’s principles also helped me let go of my resentment and anger that I had for my mother. I could never have imagined that this would ever happen.
Master said,“...in practicing cultivation in ordinary human society, we should respect parents and educate our children. Under all circumstances, we must be good and kind to others, not to mention to our family members. We should treat everyone in the same way. We must be good to our parents and children and be considerate of others in all respects. Such a heart is thus unselfish, and it is a heart of kindness and benevolence.” (Lecture Six in Zhuan Falun)
When I thought of Master’s Fa teaching and examined my own behavior, I felt ashamed. I often reminded myself that I should treat others well, let alone my own mother. As I kept studying the Fa, I let go of my resentment built up over the years and used the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance to adjust my behavior.
Gradually I became the healthiest of all my siblings. Because I eliminated the resentment to my mother, I often went back to visit her and took on more household chores. My mother was old now, and I wholeheartedly took care of her.
The changes in me amazed my siblings and neighbors. My mother said, “If my daughter didn’t practice Falun Gong, she would not have treated me this way. It has changed her. My daughter practices, but I’ve benefited greatly from it!”
When my mother was in her 80s and in critical condition, out of all my sisters and brothers, only I took care of her day and night. Even when my siblings were with her, my mother said, “None of you takes as good care of me as she does.” Once, when my older sister was with her, my mother suddenly began crying and said, “I treated her (referring to me) so badly in the past. Yet she takes such good care of me. I have gained so much from her. I feel very bad. At night, when I cough, she asks me how I feel and takes care of my needs.”
Before my mother passed away, she did one thing that deeply moved me. My mother never had a job so she did not have a pension. The government gave her 300 yuan, plus the children also gave her some money. She saved 1000 yuan in total and divided it up to show her assessment of her children. She gave me the most, 500 yuan. The others got 300 yuan, or 200 yuan, some did not receive any. My older sister received 300 yuan. She said, “Mom, you are being very fair. There is a difference. Even if you gave it all to her, I have nothing to complain about.” All my other siblings agreed.
My mother suffered from lung cancer, which is very painful. When I was taking care of her, I often told her how wonderful Falun Gong is and how Master taught us to become better people. My mother liked to listen to me. She did not suffer as much as other lung cancer patients. She passed away peacefully in her sleep. She must have gone to a good place because she understood “Falun Dafa is good.”
After I began practicing Falun Gong, I completely changed, physically and spiritually. I became healthy and happy. I’m so thankful to Master and Dafa for all it has brought me!
Category: Improving Oneself
