(Minghui.org) Introductory remarks: My eldest brother’s wife found a fortuneteller who predicted that my chances for marital bliss were doubtful, that if I could not find a mate by the age of 40, I would remain a bachelor for the rest of my life with no hope of ever getting married.
Fate
I’m just a common everyday laborer who has spent almost 15 years in a certain city with my second older brother, toiling away in a garment factory and in a ceramics factory, working as a temporary news reporter, and being an owner/trader in a costumes shop. Despite that, for various reasons, I was unable to extract myself from a life of hardships.
I am the youngest of eight. By the time the children of my nieces and nephews were already old enough to go to school, I was still a bachelor at 35. My mother, in her 80s, worried about me night and day. People in my home village pointed and gossiped that my aged mother was still a street scavenger, picking up discarded valuables to sell, all because of her useless youngest son. All this created such pressure for me that I literarily felt out of breath.
I had had a few relationships when I was younger, but none led to anything more serious. My brothers all laughed at me and commented that I was too honest and dull. They told me that, what every girl wanted was somebody who would run errands, buy meals, or provide fun companionship. They said, “You don’t have much money. You’re too serious and without any skill to please the fairer sex. Who wants to be with you, for now or forever?”
I contemplated their remarks. Perhaps they were right. I used to be a confident, proud, and ambitious individual, but after so many romantic and work-related setbacks, I began to get discouraged and lose faith in myself. Moreover, there was that prediction my sister-in-law’s fortuneteller made so many years ago.
There was actually a time when I had entertained thoughts of becoming a monk, but the heavens apparently had other plans for me.
Encounter
It was at the start of 2011 that I had a chance encounter with my current wife. She was a few years my junior, a graduate music student, and a delicate beauty with a lively personality from the south of China. The one thing that most attracted me to her was her genuine consideration of others. We could talk endlessly. She knew I enjoyed Chinese culture and traditions, so we spent many of our times together discussing and exploring those topics.
One day, she told me she was a Falun Gong practitioner. She asked if I was shocked.
She told me the ugly truth behind the persecution of Falun Gong. She analyzed for me the staged Tiananmen’s self-immolation and helped me see the discrepancies: How could Wang Jindong’s hair and the plastic bottle between his legs be still intact when he was burned? How was it that the police appeared on the scene barely a minute after the fires were set? Why was the video so direct, so clear, so methodical, so perfect? What was more important, to shoot the video or save lives? It was supposed to have happened without warning. Did the calm logistics employed correspond to how an emergency situation would have been dealt with?
I listened quietly and couldn’t help but feel the specialness of this young lady.
I thought to myself, “In this day and age, what young women don’t paint their faces and their nails, do their hair, and spend a lot of time eating and drinking and indulging in all sorts of entertainment. There are not too many like this one. She is extraordinary and refined. Not only does she not have any vulgar traits, she actually has her own independent thought and ideas.”
I couldn’t help but tell her from my heart in answer to her question, “No. I’m not shocked. I believe every word you say. You are the best representation of truth. Moreover, I’ve already seen through the Communist Party and know it is capable of anything. What has it not done? Injustice, corruption, hostility, our distrust of each other, our calculating mindsets - all are manufactured and instigated by the Party and its evil culture.”
Marriage
We were married after we had known each other for two years. At first my in-laws-to-be were not happy or agreeable. They didn’t think I was worthy of their daughter, so they gave my family and me a hard time during the negotiation period when we bargained on the wedding gifts. However, my wife-to-be held her ground, and her parents finally capitulated, saying that she would be responsible for her own future happiness. They then gave us their blessings and wished us a good marriage.
Later, I asked my wife what she saw in me. She smiled and told me she saw a hard worker, with a kind heart and an independent mind. She also said she liked me because I was not afraid of autocratic power and I had a strong sense of justice. She made that remark because, a little while back, somebody from the 610 Office had come to harass her, and I had used my capacity and right as a family member and stood up for her.
Then, sheepishly, she added that it was really simply because, when we were alone together, I had always conducted myself as a gentleman, with the proper restraint and showed her genuine respect. She confessed that was her absolute criteria in choosing a mate for life.
She added, “As a Dafa disciple, this is the least that is expected. As an ordinary person, this should also be a basic requirement. Nowadays, most people, no matter their positions in life, no matter poor or rich, all look at this female and male relationship as commonplace occurrence. That behavior is really not permitted by gods or Buddhas. This is also the biggest reason that we fall down from something beautiful to a state of moral decline and destruction.”
Because of what she said, I have a new admiration and respect for Falun Dafa.
Baby
After my hard-won marriage, I deeply cherished what I had and pampered my wife to the extent that I would not allow her to do any household chores. I know she has to study the teachings, do the exercises, and go out to distribute truth-clarification materials. I could understand Dafa disciples’ responsibility to clarify the truth and save sentient beings. So, in everything, I offered my best support.
My wife told me, “You are able to be so supportive of Dafa. You will have great blessings.”
Soon my wife became pregnant. Actually, that was my greatest wish from the start. I was way over 30. In my family, even the children of my nieces and nephews had already started school but I didn’t even have a child, so I had become the target of family jokes and ridicule. Now I could finally hold my head up high in front of my whole family.
Because my wife was with child, I asked that she observe our clan customs to ensure the healthy development of the fetus: don't hammer any nail inside the house, don't move the master bed, don't use scissors on the bed, and so on. However, she didn’t pay attention to any of my familial code of conduct, and did everything she was not supposed to do. That made me very uneasy, especially because there were several rumored stories about how pregnant women who didn’t follow the rules all gave birth to babies with defects of one kind or another.
My wife comforted me, saying, “All these rumors are scare tactics to make us toe the line. Nothing will adversely affect me. Dafa disciples have Master to watch over us. We are not under the control of ordinary people or the rules of lower level factors. All Dafa disciples’ babies come to the world with specific backgrounds for specific reasons. Please put your heart at ease.”
I listened to what my wife said. Part of me understood. Part of me was still worried.
In one pregnancy test, my wife was diagnosed with "Mediterranean anemia," better known today as thalassemia. I rushed to the Internet to dig up information regarding this syndrome. To my dismay, I read that some pregnant women suffering from thalassemia will give birth to children with the same problem; that those children with severe thalassemia will also suffer from dysplasia and will need blood transfusions the rest of their lives.
I turned to my wife, not knowing what we should do. “Shall we have it aborted?”
My wife was silent for a few seconds.
Then, with a firm and steady look in her eyes, she said to me, “No matter what, this baby has a predestinated relationship with us. There is no accident in this world. Even if our baby has that kind of disease, we can’t deprive him of his life. He is already a living being inside of me. Are we to deny him life because of our so-called 'face' or any personal profit? This is contrary to what Dafa requires of a practitioner. Moreover, let me tell you this with confidence: Our child will not be born with any such disease.”
Later, giving in to my pleading, my wife and I went for comprehensive genetic testing. The result indicated I do not have any thalassemia gene, which meant our child would not develop severe thalassemia.
After we got the medical report, my wife smiled and said, “This has been a test for me, of my faith in Dafa.”
Because of my deep concern and attachment to my unborn child, I cajoled my pregnant wife yet again to go to the hospital for more tests; and, whatever I was afraid of was whatever she ended up with.
My wife’s blood test showed low hemoglobin, which was a clear indication of anemia. The doctor informed us in a professional, authoritative voice: “Mothers who are anemic will have babies who are anemic. An anemic baby means his mental development will be affected.” So, the doctor prescribed a whole slew of drugs, but my wife rejected them all and insisted we leave the hospital.
In truth, several times before this hospital visit, my wife had run a fever of almost 40 degrees every time, but each time she would not take any medicine and after a night’s sleep, she would wake up the next morning feeling just fine. So, when she refused even to consider taking any prescription drug and insisted we leave the hospital, I did not complain or object too strenuously.
Using my wife’s words, “Dafa practitioners are unlike ordinary people. Through cultivation, a cultivator’s body is purified and will naturally attain physical fitness and health without any intercession of any medication.”
Facts have proved that Dafa is extraordinary. My wife was not intimidated by the doctor’s prognosis and did not take any drugs. At the final checkup before delivery, her hemoglobin was normal. She gave birth to a fine baby whose tests all indicated he was nothing but normal and healthy. My doubts and worries finally vanished without a trace.
Blessings
They all say Dafa disciples’ family members are blessed. After I married my wife, my mother’s stubborn, chronic ailments suddenly disappeared, as if they had never tormented her all these years. Over 80, she is able to work in the fields. She no longer suffers from physical pains. In fact, she is healthier than ever before. Everybody says it is my wife who has brought us such fine blessings and good fortune. Several of my siblings and their spouses, after understanding the truth about Falun Gong, are living better lives. They have all bought homes in the city. Their families all get along, basking in harmony.
As to my own little family, we couldn’t be better. With my wife’s advice and assistance, we started a fine arts training institute. We follow the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance to treat every child, parent, and visiting friend. As a result, we continue to receive many accolades and much recognition. Parents all comment that they feel at ease leaving their children under our care. In a little over two years, our arts institute is booming. My wife also uses this as a platform to validate Dafa and clarify the truth. We have made many new friends.
My wife said, “All these are given to us by Master.”
That makes me feel grateful and want to cherish everything we have. I will continue to support Falun Dafa.
It’s due to my wife’s appreciation of me as a person and that she chose me for her husband. It’s due to Master’s grace that I have this relationship with Dafa. Time goes by fast. I’m approaching 40. When I look back at the young man so full of dreams, so reckless yet with so little self-esteem, I can’t help but feel emotional.
Life is fleeting, whether happy or sad, rich or poor, it’s still like a night-blooming cereus that blooms for just a flashing moment and then is no more. I realize the remainder of my life will be a time of cultivation, a time that I will spend hand in hand with Dafa.
In my moment of confusion and when I was at the point of losing myself, Dafa has not only allowed me to look at myself and at this world with a fresh perspective but has also renewed my faith in myself and given me hope for a new life.
I am eternally grateful to Dafa.
