(Minghui.org) I saw Master in a dream last night. Master's expression was very serious and said, “Your hair is too long. You'd better cut it short.” I thought: My hair isn't that long, not even to my waist. Why do I need to cut my hair? Isn't it true that women look good with long hair? I wouldn't look nice with short hair like a boy. I looked at Master in confusion. After I woke up, I still couldn't figure out the meaning of the hint in my dream. I started checking my conduct and I suddenly realized what Master was trying to tell me – Master wanted me let go of the multitude of anxieties I have in everyday life. I felt really ashamed to have caused Master to worry about me.
Talking about anxieties, there have been some seemingly insignificant things that have happened to me. For example, a coin-sized red mark suddenly appeared on my face. There was no pain or itchiness, but it's been on my face for two months now. Every time I looked at myself in the mirror, I would examine it. I know that it appeared due to my attachment to looking beautiful. I sent righteous thoughts many times to completely negate the persecution of my body by the old forces, but it hasn't made much difference. I started to pay less attention to it, thinking I would take no notice and see what the old forces are up to in the end. In fact, this mentality is another form of attachment on top of the one that I have yet to let go of.
Once again, I realized the seriousness of cultivation and felt the kindness of Master in helping me. I thought I should check within myself properly. Cultivation is not child's play – how can I fool around like this? I must dig out those attachments and let go of them. I used to think that the desire to look good is universal among young practitioners, the difference is in the degree. But isn't this desire also human sentimentality? If we don't realize how harmful it is in time, it can cause an even bigger interference, like the demon of lust, and trap a practitioner in tribulations.
I have a non-practitioner friend that I hadn't contacted for a long time. He used to be my tutor when I was doing intern training. I always had a good impression of him, thinking that he was upright and honest, a good person among everyday people. Some days ago, he contacted me on QQ (an online communication tool in China) and we started to talk to each other. As time went on, we began to feel attracted to each other. He often said that I was beautiful and kind and he wanted me to be his close friend. By and by I fell into sentimental daydreams.
Even though I know I'm a Dafa practitioner and I would never do anything against the principles of a practitioner, my heart was stirred and I could not keep calm when I studied the Fa. I didn't share this with fellow practitioners for fear of losing face, and the matter dragged on until Master dropped me a hint in my dream. I suddenly enlightened. If I continued on that track, the consequences would be too ghastly to contemplate. I deeply regretted my conduct.
As a veteran Dafa practitioner, the first test I came across was to let go of desire and lust, and yet for so many years now I still haven't passed the test. Do I want to go on like this till I see Master take another bowl of poison for me due to my shortcomings? My face was covered with tears and I could feel Master's boundless compassion. I'm determined to be more diligent in cultivation, completely cleanse myself and return home with Master!