(Minghui.org) My husband lost his life due to being persecuted for his belief in Falun Gong. I was sentenced to one and a half years in a forced labor camp for the same reason. My daughter, who was studying at a university during that time, couldn't take the intense pressure and gave up her cultivation and went against Dafa.

The shadow of the persecution followed me afterwards, and I couldn't get rid of it. I felt as though I was fettered by the attachment to fear and couldn't maintain righteous thoughts. I wanted to be diligent and follow Master's Fa-rectification, but I was also affected by the persecution and fear. These kinds of feelings and thoughts were constantly intertwined in my mind. Words can't express how much I suffered from all of this.

Every day, I strove very hard to look inward and try to discover my fundamental attachments and remove them. Whenever I found something that was not in line with the Fa, I immediately eliminated it. But I felt that the old forces were monitoring me all the time, which stopped me from saving people.

When I thought about saving people, interference came right away. I thought I must have a loophole that the old forces were exploiting. I looked inside, but I didn't realize that I looked inward just because I didn't want to be interfered with and persecuted. In other words, I was cultivating myself amidst the persecution set up by the old forces. I hadn't denied it and wasn't rectifying myself according to the standard of the Fa. I was actually acknowledging the old forces.

I knew that I had to negate the old force arrangements, but I just said it on the surface and didn't do it in my heart. I slacked off in my cultivation for a while. Even though I was busy every day, what I did was not effective enough to save people and clarify the facts. I became quite worried, as I knew that this wasn't how practitioners should be.

I realized that I hadn't joined the local study group for a long time. Didn't this show that I wasn't walking on the path Master had arranged for me? When I realized this, I joined the study group again and read Master's lectures systematically. I improved a lot.

Master said:

“If upon encountering trying circumstances your thinking can be truly righteous, then, when faced with the evil's persecution and when faced with interference, just one sentence of yours fortified with steadfast righteous thoughts can instantly make the evil disintegrate (applause), and it will make those who are being used by the evil turn and flee, it will make the evil's persecution of you dissolve, and it will make the evil's interfering with you disappear without a trace. One thought born of righteous faith is all it takes. And whoever can hold firm that righteous thought and go the distance will become a magnificent god forged by Dafa.” (“Teaching the Fa at the Western U.S. International Fa Conference”)

I wished that I had righteous thoughts, and wanted to become a great divine being created by the Fa! I said to Master in my heart, “Why don't I have righteous thoughts? I want to have righteous thoughts. Please help me.” Master compassionately helped me remember something that had happened to me a long time ago.

It was when I was distributing truth clarification materials to each block in a residential area ten years before. When I was finished and just about to leave, two middle-aged men headed towards me. I was quite calm and thought, "They might not come to me, ignore them." However, they continued walking towards me.

At that very moment, I sent out a thought, "Keep away from me. You cannot persecute me." They both then turned around and left. One went into a room, the other one went onto the balcony on the second floor, stood there, and didn't move. I got on my bicycle and left. When I looked back, I saw that man still standing on the balcony. I wondered, "Why is he still there on such a hot day?"

I remembered later, that before I went into each block to distribute materials, I asked sentient beings in other dimensions to look after the materials and not let the evil destroy them. I realized then that I had abilities.

I realized that at a critical moment, one thought born of righteous faith can disintegrate all the evil elements in other dimensions. In fact, I believe we all have the abilities divine beings have, but because we think we are human beings, our human notions restrict our abilities. That is why I couldn't get rid of the old forces' elements—I was treating fear as part of me and couldn't validate the Fa openly and with dignity.

I was subsequently cautious when negating the old forces' arrangements with each and every thought. When I discovered any thoughts that conformed to the old forces' arrangements, I talked to them, “I don't belong to you, old forces. I must deny you. I am Master Li Hongzhi's disciple, I have my Master to look after me. You do not deserve to take care of me.” I recited these words every day.

My thoughts felt weak at first when I said these words. They did not reach my heart. It seemed as though there was a thick barrier between my thoughts and my heart. Master talked about the principle of “matter and mind are one thing” (Zhuan Falun). I understood that the barrier was my human notions, and concepts that conformed to the old force arrangements. I wondered how strong and thick these things were. I recited and negated the old forces, and this substance gradually disintegrated. I sensed them becoming weaker and my righteous thoughts strengthening.

During that time, I was forced to leave my home to avoid persecution. Master's Fa helped me out of this situation. I stayed with relatives, then decided to return home. In my dream the old forces shouted at me, “We won't let you go home for the rest of your life.” But I completely negated them, thanks to Master, who takes care of me compassionately.

I felt that I had taken a leap forward in my cultivation. The reason why I was persecuted was because I had acknowledged the old forces. I used to complain about my own misfortune and even hated the police, but if my thoughts had always been righteous, who would have been able to persecute me?

Now when I hear that fellow practitioners are persecuted, my first thought is to deny the old forces' persecution. I no longer complain about the ones who have attachments that caused them to be persecuted, or were persecuted because they were not behaving in accordance with the Fa. When I totally negate the old forces' arrangements and get rid of my human notions and concepts, from the bottom of my heart, I can sense the power of the Fa becoming stronger and stronger.

This is my personal understanding. Please point it out anything that is incorrect.

Category: Improving Oneself