(Minghui.org) During a recent Falun Dafa cultivation experience sharing conference, a sentence left me with a deep impression: “A practitioner once told me that whenever a certain practitioner came to the Shen Yun ticket retail booth, the tickets sales would start moving and go well. Many tickets were sold. Even though I said 'great', deep down I was not truly happy for that practitioner or for the many sentient beings that were saved.”
I asked myself, “Can I be genuinely happy for others when they have successfully sold Shen Yun tickets?” I think I can do that more or less, but won’t be as happy as if I had sold the tickets myself. It doesn’t make any sense: people are saved regardless who made the sale. Why does it make any difference then whether I or others made it happen?
I then recalled that once I heard a practitioner joyfully say: “Finally!” She had just sold the first ticket since a few days. I was glad to hear it. Yet another thought surfaced: “I've also sold tickets.”
My mentality was exactly the same as the example Master mentioned in Zhuan Falun, when others scored 100 in the exam, instead of being happy for others, one claimed that “I've also scored 100.” This jealousy made me unable to be truly happy for others.
I didn't pay much attention to the jealousy issue because I didn't think it was such a big problem for me. Now I realized that even a tiny bit of the problem may hinder my effectiveness in saving people.
Master taught us in Zhuan Falun:
“There is this rule: If in the course of cultivation practice jealousy is not given up, one will not attain Right Fruit—absolutely not.”
I have to eliminate jealousy.
While I delivered Shen Yun marketing materials door-to-door in a residential area, I discovered another issue: impatience.
A fellow practitioner, myself, and my two children worked together to put the materials in mailboxes, which is allowed here unless there is a “no soliciting” sign posted. It was starting to get dark and I noticed my children slowing down. I became impatient, though I didn't say anything out loud.
When I went to the car for more materials, I placed the key in the car. As I closed the door with my hands full with flyers, I realized the key was locked inside the car. I had to call my husband to bring me another car key, and it would take him an hour to arrive.
I calmed down and searched within. I realized my impatience was quite severe. Now, since we were stuck waiting for the key for a while, we could take our time delivering materials.
Immediately another test came. My daughter and I walked up to a villa area and couldn't locate the mailboxes for some houses. We looked all around. I reminded myself not to be anxious anymore; this was just a test of my patience.
I looked carefully and discovered the entrance to the house on a small path to the side. Normally I would think that it was a path to the basement, but I found the mailbox there, right next to the road.
There was another house we approached that looked like only one residence. Upon a closer look, I discovered it was actually two households. Had I been impatient, I would have missed this.
What happened the next day made me reflect on this further. My son played the piano, and the music was smooth and beautiful. He used to be impatient and nervous, and this was reflected in the music. I always thought that his personality caused the problem in his music.
But that day, it was smooth with no indication of impatience. I suddenly understood that his impatience was a mirror of my issue, it was just that I never looked into the mirror. I never searched within, and always thought it was his problem. Now that my impatience was gone, his music was smooth.
Master said in “Teaching the Fa at the Western U.S. Fa Conference:”
“If a third person witnesses the conflict between the two, I would say that it’s not accidental for that third person to see it, and he too should think it over: “Why did I see their conflict? Is it because I still have some shortcomings?” Only in this way can it be good.”
No matter what we encounter, we have to look within. As long as we do that, we can find our problems and improve and elevate. My experience tells me that this is very true.