(Minghui.org) We cannot control what happens to us, but we can influence the outcome with our responses. I believe that is so. The ups and downs of my house have accompanied me over the past 20 years as I have practiced Falun Gong: I shared my house with my sister-in-law; I got a bigger house afterwards; I lost it as a result of the persecution of Falun Gong; and my mother-in-law gave it back to me a few years ago.
My experience validates what I have learned from Falun Gong: Being a considerate and selfless person doesn't mean that I will lose what is supposed to be mine. Instead, I can bring happiness and warmth to others. This, in turn, makes me happy, too.
My mother-in-law has two sons and two spare houses: a storied building and a bungalow. My husband is the elder son, so, according to Chinese custom, he and I moved into the storied building after we got married.
My brother-in-law married later. He and his wife didn't want to live in the bungalow, so they rented another residence. My sister-in-law has a contagious liver disease, so I avoided her: I wouldn't even sit next to her at family meals.
I began practicing Falun Gong in the autumn of 1996. A month later, my husband was promoted to Beijing. Our family moved with his job and started a new chapter in our lives.
My father-in-law took care of our house in our hometown after we left. When we went back for the 1998 Chinese New Year, I realized that our house was clean but smelled funny. It seemed that someone had been living there, but who?
I also noticed items missing in the house and asked my father-in-law about it, but he assured me that no one had been living there.
I did not rest well that night and had all sorts of questions. I could not handle the smell and we left the next day.
Making an early call to my “home” when I returned to Beijing, I hoped that no one would pick up the phone since it was only 6 a.m., but my sister-in-law answered.
I did not say a word and quietly hung up. My heart was unsettled: Why are they deceiving me? Why are they occupying my house just to save rent when they have a bungalow? What about her contagious disease? Would it affect my child?
At the next group Fa study, I shared my annoyance with fellow practitioners. One of them reminded me that it was a test to get rid of my selfishness. Such tests usually come on suddenly; only this way can they touch one's heart. If it were my parents, would I still be upset?
I immediately awakened: Master taught us to be selfless and to be considerate of others; how could I focus on my feelings and forget Master's teachings? Alas, it was me who did not study the Fa well and forgot I was a practitioner.
Realizing my selfishness, I delivered my backup keys to my sister-in-law and said, “No worries. You can stay in my house.” My in-laws were deeply moved.
My own parents were shocked. My father said, “What's wrong with my daughter? After she practiced Falun Gong, she gave up her own house! Where will they stay when they come home after the stint in Beijing is over?”
Out of curiosity, he read the copy of Zhuan Falun I gave him two years prior. His view changed after reading the book; he understood me.
The education bureau where my parents-in-law worked gave out houses again via lottery. They planned to purchase it for my brother-in-law, but they won a larger house than intended and didn't have the financial resources to make the purchase. They thought of us, so they claimed the house with our money. This bigger house became the new home for my husband and me.
I realized that I didn't lose anything by sharing my house with my sister-in-law. All I got was the elevation of my mind nature.
Falun Gong cultivators are required to gradually become selfless. When one is truly able to achieve that state, it just like what Master said in Zhuan Falun:
“If something is yours, you will not lose it. If something is not yours, you will not have it even if you fight for it.”
My husband was forced to divorce me as a result of the persecution. I did not know that I had lost my house, too, until after I was released from the labor camp. I had lost my family and I was homeless. Yet I had no regrets and carried on; I knew I was acting as a Falun Gong practitioner according to Master's teachings. I had no resentment.
Soon, my ex-mother-in-law gave the house to me. My child also reunited with me after ten years. This was unusual for my mother-in-law, as I knew how important this house was to her. She would rather have left it vacant than let my sister-in-law's parents live there. Even though I am divorced, I still take care of my in-laws as usual, and they still treat me as one of the family.
The teachings of Falun Gong transformed me into someone who is considerate of others in all circumstances and helped me to understand the implications behind letting go versus holding on. It's this awareness that helped me stay positive even during the darkest days of the persecution and personal suffering.