(Minghui.org) During the process of cooperating with fellow practitioners, I have come to realize that whenever a practitioner does something to save sentient beings, he will always be tested as to whether he is, in fact, a real practitioner and whether what he does is sacred or just ordinary people's affairs. I would like to share my experience in this regard.
I have always thought that I was a very confident person, but in the later years of my cultivation, I came to realize that my confidence was just a curtain behind which to hide my low self-esteem. I discovered this when I realized that I have always felt like a failure. Whenever I did anything, I always ignored my accomplishments and beat myself over the head for the things I could not do.
It has always been difficult for me to cherish myself and what I have accomplished. Consequently, I formed a notion that I was very talented, to protect myself from this underlying feeling of failure. This then led to a very strong mentality of showing off, as well.
Because of this, I also had a desire to voice my opinion on everything and always wanted to talk in our group. I wasted precious time in the group to validate myself so that others would praise me and give me the confirmation I so sorely needed.
From the outside, this may look quite good, and it may seem that this kind of person has a deep understanding of the Fa} and is clear-minded. However, I have witnessed the deeper attachments behind it in myself and others. Because one does not think one deserves to succeed, one fills the void with other people's praise, thereby faking confidence and creating a fake image of success.
Once I realized this, I started to be more quiet and humble. When I did speak in the group, I managed to be calm and did not have a need to prove or protect myself if anyone corrected me. This has made it easier to cooperate and follow the coordinator's decision without the need to change anything, even if I do not agree with him. It is now a lot easier to just quietly do what I am told and try to do it well.
In my opinion, ego is a product of the old forces and is, from what I understand from the {{Fa, the reason for the cosmos' degeneration. I believe that, in the old cosmos, since no being knew that there was a universal Fa, the different lords of the various planes thought that their wisdom was everything, that they were the highest beings in existence, and that only their approach was right.
I therefore think that, when practitioners do this when they work on a project or are in a conflict, the old forces can make serious trouble and make everything fail, because we have put ourselves inside the old forces' field and our thinking aligns with them. Thus, they can strengthen our attachments and, in the end, destroy us and everyone we hoped to save.
My understanding is that this state appears because of the inability to clearly distinguish our true selves from the illusion of ourselves–in other words, failing to let go of one's ego/self.
We all come from different planes and have our own views. I don't think there is anything wrong with voicing different ideas, but when the product of the old forces that is egotism shows up, and we are not using our true selves to save sentient beings, we are then under the control of the old forces in validating our ego, thus giving them free rein to interfere. At times like this, I think we really need to remind one another why we are here!
“As a cultivator,One always looks for one's own faults,'Tis the Way to get rid of attachments most effectivelyThere's no way to skip ordeals, big or small[During a conflict, if you can remember:]'He's rightAnd I'm wrong,'What's to dispute?”(“Who's Right, Who's Wrong” in Hong Yin III)
When the new Lunyu came out, I started to translate it from English to Norwegian. It was quick and easy for me to translate, and I felt very good about it. I then passed it on to the practitioner responsible for corrections, thinking it would not need much work. I was, of course, wrong.
The main coordinator later got together with the coordination group, stepping in to finalize it. But I felt I was excluded from the process and got a bit irritated. The feeling of failure got to me, and I became depressed.
After a while, I suddenly realized that, for me to truly make this project succeed, I needed to cultivate. So I let go of my human feelings about it and focused on eliminating my ego and separating myself from the control of the old forces. I suddenly had a great feeling of success. I felt happy and honored to take part in such a sacred act. I then understood from the Fa that, whenever practitioners participate in a project, we will always face a test of whether we can let go of our ego.
If we can take the divine path and separate ourselves from the old forces' control by completely letting go of the illusion of ourselves and cooperate fully, the practitioners involved will be successful in saving sentient beings; we are then in the new cosmos, where there is no ego.
My understanding is that, in the new cosmos, because there is no egotism, all beings, regardless of how high up we are, will forever uphold Dafa instead of our own things. We will treasure all life regardless of its form and size. And we will all humbly know that our own things are just our perception of Dafa and only the truth that we have come to understand at our level of cultivation.
Category: Improving Oneself
