(Minghui.org) As soon as I received the new lecture, “Fa Teaching at the 2015 West Coast Fa Conference,” I read it over and over again. The more I studied it, the more I felt Master's boundless compassion and the more I realized the seriousness of cultivation practice. I understood that nothing is trivial in cultivation, so we cannot neglect a single thought, word, or act.
I felt very guilty about not being diligent. Master does not want to leave behind a single disciple. He has earnestly taught us the Fa, seriously pointed out problems that exist for Dafa disciples, and told us how to cultivate, all with great compassion.
In the lecture, Master asked: “What are you going to do?” several times. It was like the sound of thunder each and every time, waking me from my unhurried cultivation state. I wholeheartedly felt I was not worthy of Master's merciful salvation.
Having cultivated for so many years, I still have a lot of attachments, some of which are still very strong and stubborn. Sometimes I've even forgotten that I am a practitioner and handled things using ordinary thinking and behavior, leaving a bad impression and unknowingly bringing shame to Dafa and Dafa disciples. Consequently, loopholes appeared for the evil to take advantage of and persecute me in the form of sickness karma.
Master told us in the beginning of “Fa Teaching at the 2015 West Coast Fa Conference:”
“Any human thoughts or attachments you have will make it hard for you to improve and elevate, and at the same time, will be seized upon by the old forces and evil factors, for sure.”
“Each of your attachments could cause your cultivation to fail. Each of your attachments could result in physical issues, and lead your once-firm faith in Dafa to waver.”
I recalled some things that happened to me recently that prompted me to develop further understandings of Master's Fa taught in this lecture that I'd like to share. I want to summarize my cultivation for further advancement and also hope that this can serve as a reference to help fellow practitioners.
I grew up in a poor family and was raised to be thrifty. This admirable trait for an everyday person turned out to be a big attachment for me as a practitioner. I have been working hard to get rid of this attachment since I began to cultivate, but it's proven very stubborn. I sometimes behave worse than a non-practitioner in this regard. The evil has consequently taken advantage of it and caused me to have sickness karma.
At the end of last year, my aunt who lives outside of China asked me to do her a favor. The matter required a processing fee. Since the organization that handled this matter was where I retired from and I still knew people there, I asked the manager to waive or reduce my fee. He agreed, although, as a practitioner, I should not have asked for the reduction.
The next day, I started to feel strange, and I bled a lot. I didn't pay attention to it until I had bled for over 10 days.
I started looking inside for anything that I had recently done wrong, and then I recalled that incident. I realized that, even though the manager gave me a reduced rate, it might not have been of his own accord but, instead, because of his respect for a veteran coworker's request.
I saved money, but that meant the organization lost money. Dafa requires us to attain the righteous enlightenment of selflessness and altruism. My behavior was the opposite. Wasn't there a lot of selfishness and self-interest behind what I did? I realized my mistake and immediately admitted it to Master. I decided to donate the money I'd save to the material production site.
Because I realized my mistake and corrected it, I stopped bleeding the next day.
In September, I went to the bank to get cash. The line was very long; about 40-50 people had taken a number and were in line in front of me. I would have to wait for 2-3 hours to get my banking done. Since I needed the cash that day, I couldn't leave. I'm not a patient person, so after waiting for a while, I became very anxious.
I approached the manager, who was an acquaintance, and asked if he had any lower numbers available that others had given up. He gave me a few to select from. I was delighted and picked the one with the shortest waiting time. I got my cash in less than an hour and got home.
That afternoon, I started feeling unwell. I felt as if my body was tied up and very heavy. At first I thought I was burning off sickness karma, but very soon I realized I must have done something wrong that the evil had taken advantage of. What I did at the bank that morning occurred to me. I realized I'd made a mistake by jumping ahead in the line and failing to behave like a practitioner.
Even an everyday person should follow the rules and not cut in line. I was worse than an everyday person. Even though the people in the bank did not know I was a practitioner, the higher beings and the evil know it. So wasn't this a good opportunity for the evil to persecute me?
Behind my anxiety (which indicates I wasn't tolerant to begin with), wasn't there selfishness? Dafa requires us to think of others first, but I only cared about myself—I got things done sooner, but others had to wait longer. Is this a Dafa disciple's behavior?
I was shocked at my mistake and immediately admitted it to Master. I decided to remove the bad habit and promised it would never happen again.
Since my xinxing had been raised, Master started purifying my body for me. That night in my half-formed dreams, someone bent down and removed something from the area of my waist. The next morning, the feeling of being tied up was gone.
The above two incidents were both small things in my daily life, but through them I have come to understand the following:
First, solid Fa study is necessary to advance in cultivation. Through a series of incidents in my cultivation, I have come to understand further why Master has repeatedly told us to study the Fa well.
In my understanding, as we cultivate in human society, we tend to take our human notions, behaviors, and habits for granted as they surface. Without solid Fa study, one is likely to lack righteous thoughts and may not view things from the Fa or identify the problems, let alone correct them. If these small incidents continue to accumulate, small things will become big tests that are too difficult to pass. Over time, one will lose confidence in cultivation, one's faith in cultivation will waver, and the evil will take advantage and drag one down. There are many such examples.
Righteous thoughts come from the Fa, and one must study the Fa well.
Second, cultivation practice is extremely hard and serious. Master has often stressed the seriousness of cultivation.
In my understanding, when a person full of desires and karma wants to become a god, would it be possible if this person did not go through ordeals in an arduous environment and treat everything with all due seriousness?
Master has said:
“To tell you the truth, the entire cultivation process for a practitioner is one of constantly giving up human attachments.” (Zhuan Falun)
In the process of removing attachments, sometimes one does it well and sometimes one does it poorly, or even makes big mistakes. Yet, one should be brave and face the mistakes to make sure they don't happen again. One should never make excuses for himself by believing that making mistakes is inevitable and then forgive himself without correcting it. Cultivation is serious, and one must conscientious and strict.
Third, one must learn to look inside and walk well the path Master has arranged. Every genuine Dafa practitioner knows that cultivation requires looking within. However, because everyone's situation is different, the specifics and process of looking inside are different. For some practitioners, as soon as a problem arises (such as injury or serious karma), the first that thought comes to mind is pure and righteous: “What improper thoughts did I develop?” or “What did I do that was improper.” Then he will comb through all his thoughts and actions to find it.
For some practitioners, however, even though they claim they're looking inside, in reality they think otherwise: “I'm doing a good deed and did nothing wrong. How could this be happening?”
Other practitioners might say, “I don't know how to handle this. I've looked inside but didn't find any problems.” And some practitioners might simply attribute it to eliminating karma, without looking inside at all.
As to how to look inside, Master earnestly told us in this lecture:
“Some of our practitioners are struggling with passing the tests of sickness karma. Don’t think that it’s necessarily something major [that causes that]. You might think that you haven’t done anything majorly wrong, and that you are very firm in your faith in the Fa. However, you shouldn’t treat the little issues you have like they are nothing. The evil will seize upon any gaps. Many practitioners have even passed away on account of little things; it really was due to something very minor. That’s because cultivation is something serious, and requires having no gaps. If for a long time you haven’t dealt with those things through cultivation, small as they may be, if you haven’t taken them seriously for a prolonged period of time, then it is a big issue. Many people have passed away on account of such things.” (“Fa Teaching at the 2015 West Coast Fa Conference”)
As genuine Dafa disciples, we must put effort into understanding this paragraph of Fa well and not neglect the small things in our daily lives. We must pay attention to our every thought and action. Upon realizing a mistake, we must immediately correct it.
As our xinxing is raised and our attachments are weakened, Master can disintegrate the evil that persecute us, and our “sickness karma” will disappear.
For me, I must cherish this once-in-many-lifetimes opportunity to cultivate. I will be worthy of Master's merciful salvation and will do the three things well. I must pay attention to my every thought and action in daily life and walk well the path to godhood that Master has arranged for me. I must advance diligently and follow Master home.
Please kindly point out anything improper. Heshi.