(Minghui.org) I began cultivating in 1998 at the age of 18. Because I did not understand the Fa in depth at that time, I later slacked off in my practice and behaved like an ordinary person.
With the help from other practitioners and my mother, I returned to Dafa cultivation. I removed many attachments and the environment around me also changed for the better.
Cultivators need to do well in whatever we do. However, I was drained by sentimentality, fame, and personal gain after getting married in 2003. My husband is the only child in his family, so he was spoiled by his mother. I could not count on my husband to do housework because my mother-in-law would be angry if I let him do it.
I later had a son. My husband did not change even a single diaper. He always said he was tired and could not sleep well. I had to take care of both him and our child. My xinxing level dropped and I fought with him all the time.
“I'm also the youngest of my family,” I said. “Why did I become your mom after getting married to you? Are you looking for a wife or a mom?”
I was very angry. I could not stand it anymore. I gave up cultivating my mind nature and chose to fight.
We eventually separated. We took turns to do the housework. We would fight if anyone did more work than the other. The jealousy, attachment to unfairness, attachment to competition, resentment, etc. led me to fight with my husband and mother-in-law.
Fights continued day after day, which left me exhausted. Later, with the help of fellow practitioners, I realized how bad I was after studying the Fa. I failed all the tests because I did not improve myself or give up my attachments. They were arranged by Master for my improvement!
Master mentioned in Zhuan Falun:
“This is somewhat related to the absolute egalitarianism that we used to practice. 'If the sky falls, everybody dies together, after all; everybody should share equally in anything good; when there’s a pay hike, everybody should be entitled to the same share.' The logic seems right—everybody is being treated the same. But how could they be the same?”
Wasn't I jealous of my husband?
Master wrote in Hong Yin:
“A hundred hardships falling all at once,See how one lives.”
Is this little bit of hardship really painful? Am I a cultivator? Who am I cultivating for? After I had this realization, I upgraded my xinxing. I stopped fighting with and complaining about mother-in-law. I started to take the initiative to do housework and treated my mother and father-in-law as my own parents.
After my xinxing improved, my family environment completely changed! Because we lived separately, my mother-in-law hasn't invited us over for dinner for over a year. Now she calls us when she cooks nice food and would also often give things to us.
My husband changed, too. He started to do housework and took the responsibility of bringing our child to and from school.
Sometimes, my human thoughts would re-emerge. I would be thinking while cleaning pots, “Why am I the one cleaning again? Why am I doing the work again?” But I would stop those thoughts right away, “This thought isn't mine. It should be my work. I will truly eliminate those bad thoughts. Not only will I do the work, I will do it happily!”
One time, my husband's scooter broke so we bought a new one. My husband let me ride it since my workplace was far away. I passed by my mother-in-law's home and I showed her the scooter. She said right away, “Was it not bought for my son? How come you are riding it?”
After I got home, I told my husband, “Your mom really loves you. She asked me why I was riding the scooter since it was bought for you. She must regret saying that now. Isn't it the same regardless of who is riding it?”
My husband laughed and said, “Why don't you tell her that I will just ride it!” I responded, “I would not say that. I'm a cultivator.” A fight was resolved through laughter.
My father-in-law has been telling other people, “My daughter-in-law is even better than my son!”
I once went to a parent conference about how much my son's school would cost. After my mother-in-law heard about it, she called me in the next morning and said she withdrew money from the bank and would pay for the school. After I rejected her offer, she said, “You are the one contributing all the time. I did not help you much. Let me pay for it!” I was so touched that I almost started to cry. Master was encouraging me because I did right by my mother-in-law. Thank you, Master!
At the beginning of the year, an elderly practitioner was illegally detained for telling people the facts about Falun Gong at a market. After we heard about it, every practitioner looked within. Some went to send forth righteous thoughts close by; some wrote articles to Minghui; and others went to the family of the practitioner to encourage them to ask for her release. A strong body was quickly formed.
I worked with the family member of the detained practitioner to had them ask for their relative's release. While we went inside the local police station, other practitioners were sending forth righteous thoughts outside. The policemen were intimidating and appeared rude and aggressive. We were not moved by it and insisted on asking them to release our fellow practitioner.
The police said, “She is not cooperating with us. If you did not come to look for her, we would not even know her name. She says she does not know the answer to every question we ask. She just says 'Dafa is good' whenever she sees us and asks us to quit the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) and its affiliated organizations. We were almost convinced by her. She is not at the police station now. She was sent to a detention center to be detained for 15 days.”
On the way back, the practitioner's family member said, “I really admire my mom. She is completely uneducated but she could say all those things and make the police officers scared.”
Before I went inside the station, I was a little afraid. But I felt that some of my fear was eliminated after the experience. A test was passed. We shared our thoughts on the way back, “We still have to go ask for the practitioner's release. We cannot accept the 15 days. They must release her immediately!”
We returned to the detention center and called the officer in charge and said, “Can you release her now? We heard that your detention center even charges for the food. We cannot afford it.”
The policeman said, “No. It was decided already, we will not charge you for the food.”
Another practitioner also went to help and support the family of the detained practitioner. One of the relatives of the practitioner told us, “You guys are so together. It is so touching!” I told her that helping her is also helping ourselves and we are one body, so we consider helping her family our responsibility.
We went to the detention center again. The cultivation state of the detained practitioner was very good and she strongly believed in Master and the Fa. They told us that the practitioner would be held one extra day because they didn't work on the 15th day of her detention.
We decided that some practitioners would stay at home to send forth righteous thoughts and some would go to the detention center to ask for the practitioner's release. My fear was emerging again and some bad thoughts kept coming forth. I thought, “What would I do if I were taken away? What if I were affected too?” I knew that those thoughts were not mine, so I sent forth righteous thoughts to eliminate them. I had to pass this test and eliminate the fear.
We arrived before nine in the morning on the 16th day. The practitioner was finishing up some paperwork. But two men were holding her arms. After they came outside, we approached them right away. One of the men was dragging her to his car. We just held on to the fellow practitioner and asked who the man was.
He said, “We are from the 610 Office.” We asked, “Where is your license? What's your name? How do you have the right to drag this practitioner away?” He said, “Some paperwork is not done yet so we have to go to the 610 Office. She can't go home yet.”
We said, “No. Why weren't you doing paperwork during the 15 days she was detained. What paperwork are you doing now? Where is your license? Where will you go if you take her? You cannot take her!”
We took the arm of the practitioner and said to them, “The detention time of 15 days is over. Come to her home if you have anything to do. Her home will not change.” They insisted on not letting her go and said to wait for people from the community office and their supervisors to come to pick her up.
“This elderly lady is not armed. You are still afraid ofWe saidWe continued, “Aren't you planning on implicating her medical benefits, the school and career of her family members by involving the community office? Are you trying to implicate her family members? Is this your law?”
Another practitioner told everyone at home to continue to send forth righteous thoughts.
At that time, the director of the 610 Office had more officers arrive. They saw that we had a lot of people with us and that we outnumbered them, so they called a car of special police to take all of us away.
The practitioner and her family decided to let the family members go to the 610 Office. The family members asked us to leave quickly and send forth righteous thoughts to eliminate the evil in other dimensions. We learned afterwards that those officers actually wanted to take all of us away.
After they got there, they were determined to deny the persecution they were imposing on us. They refused to pay a penalty or sign the three statements. Around seven at night, the fellow practitioner came back. The director of the 610 Office told her before she left, “Elderly lady, you are so well liked.”
Master said in “Dafa Disciples Must Study the Fa - Fa Teaching Given at the 2011 Washington DC Metro Area Fa Conference:”
“You know how evil the wicked CCP is. If it wants to bring someone down, they couldn’t hold out for so much as three days. But could it topple Dafa disciples? The better you cultivate, the more steadfast, strong, and mature you are. That is about the extent of [the CCP’s] role.”
Only the righteous thoughts we gained from cultivating Dafa can make us unstoppable.
But it did not end there. Because the members of the 610 Office illegally arrested and interrogated the family of the fellow practitioner, they learned my name and later sent my company a notice saying I was “stirring things up at the police station.” I became afraid again. If it negatively affected my employment status, what would I say to my family? Sending forth righteous thoughts did not work either. So I decided just to calm down.
Then I thought of what Master once said,“...with the master and the Fa here what is there to fear?” (“Lecture in Sydney”)
Everything is decided by Master. At my Saturday company meeting, my boss mentioned being contacted by the 610 Office without saying my name. I just sent forth righteous thoughts. My coworkers were looking at me to see how I would react. I acted as if there was nothing wrong. I acted in the right manner and the tribulation passed.
Because of the nature of my job, I don't have much free time. But I am able to manage my own time. If I am busy with personal things to take care of, it is fine if I don't go to work for one day. Therefore, I can do a lot of work to validate the Fa.
When not enough people were making Shen Yun DVDs, I would help with cutting paper, packaging, and sealing them. When we were out of truth-clarification leaflets, I would bring more for printing. I would buy materials and equipment, if needed.
I also have a materials production site where I would print out truth-clarification materials. Besides this work, I would also publish name lists for withdrawing from the organizations of the CCP and distribute materials about quitting it. Whenever practitioners asked for something, I would quickly bring what they needed. I don't want to delay even a minute since time is so limited to help more people understand Falun Dafa .
However, I would become anxious when other people were slower than me. One practitioner said to me, "It is good to be fast. But anxiety should be cultivated away, too!" I also realized it. I was thankful that this practitioner reminded me.
I'm not always able to take suggestions from other practitioners with a calm heart. Last year when we were making covers for Shen Yun DVDs, one practitioner came to see how we were doing. After she saw the covers, she said, "I cut the covers for your DVDs. If you think it was too slow, aren't you saying that I am not doing well?" My attachment of not being able to take criticism came out.
She continued, "I had to make 200 DVDs in one afternoon. So it would be 600 covers total. Why don't you try it? You only criticize other people but never help out."
Jealousy, the attachment to competition, and the attachment of not being able to take criticism all came out. I didn't say anything at the time, but I was bothered by it on my way back home. Then I thought I should look within. How to cut nicely? If three are cutting together and a person wraps them, isn't that enough? Didn't Master tell us to do the best? This fellow practitioner was being responsible to the Fa, but I was still complaining about her. I have found so many attachments. I should thank this fellow practitioner!”
Another practitioner spoke to the one who criticized me, "She(referring to me) has a job, has to take care of a child, has to study the Fa, and needs to do so many things. Don't give her too much pressure."
I said, "I do not feel pressured." I never even thought about the word "pressure". I just think this is what I am supposed to do. One time when I was making truth clarification calendars, I thought: “Master, what is happiness? What does it feel like?” At that moment, a feeling of warmth filled my heart. It was very comfortable and happy. It is hard to describe it in words. That was true happiness.
A fellow practitioner installed software on my computer. What should the password be? She said, "I will make an easy one for you." After she made it, she showed the password to me: "Yong meng jing jin, chi zhi yi heng (be diligent and persistent)."
I was shocked. Isn't this what I lack the most? I clearly know that I have many attachments but just did not have the determination to cultivate them away. Isn't Master pointing them out through this fellow practitioner? I will become diligent!
Master said in “Fa Teaching at the 2009 Greater New York International Fa Conference:”
“...always cultivating as if you were just starting will surely result in achieving your ultimate rank.”