(Minghui.org) I recently experienced a feeling of fear, after which I studied the Fa, looked inward, and eliminated the attachment. This cycle repeated itself a few times. Through the process I gained a better understanding of “self.”
Some time ago, I began to fear for my safety while talking to people about Falun Dafa over the phone. To eliminate the fear, I studied the Fa more, and often reminded myself to look at things based on the Fa, and with righteous thoughts. It restrained the fear to some degree, but I couldn't uproot it.
I gradually became more and more anxious when talking to people over the phone, and worried that the police were monitoring me.
The fear amplified, and I nearly lost the confidence to continue in my cultivation.
I met a friend several days ago, who had listened to me talk about Falun Dafa before. I talked more this time and she appeared to be interested in reading some of the Dafa books.
After we parted, she texted me to say thank-you, and said she always enjoyed talking with me.
I felt proud after reading the message and thought it was in recognition of my successful truth-clarification efforts. I then realized that this was an attachment to “self.”
I began looking inward, but a human notion interfered and lead me to look at some superficial matters, such as fame and sentiment. I stopped the notion and forced myself to look deeper to find the origin of the attachment.
Master strengthened my efforts, and my thoughts became clearer. I examined what “self” is, and came to a new understanding.
Cultivation is conforming to the Fa, which also includes letting go of the smallest particles that were created in the old universe, and replacing them with new particles that conform to the new universe.
What is fear? Fear is terrified of loss. If I am willing to lose the most basic particles of my life, what could I fear?
This new understanding crushed the wall of fear like a bulldozer, and I felt the substance of fear evaporating.
Solemn respect for Dafa and Master, and powerful righteous thoughts filled my heart.
With Master's strengthening, I reached an understanding that I must absolutely let go of “self.” I realized that I must think and act absolutely altruistically.
Whenever a stubborn attachment emerged over the following days, such as laziness, worry, or lust, I asked myself, “Can you let go of self and conform to the Fa?”
My mind answered positively. I could feel my righteous side stand tall, and the human notions recede.
After thinking more about the origin of self, I realized that every Dafa disciple's original life was born in a world of a certain level in the old universe. This original life carried the characteristics of the lord of that world. Our attachments in this life also carry the characteristics of our origin.
When a world is no longer good enough to be allowed to exist, the creator will destroy it and create a new one. All of the old lives will be destroyed and new lives created.
However, Master is rectifying the old universe. Master doesn't want to destroy all of the old lives. Our cultivation practice conforms to the new universe by eliminating the characteristics of the old one.
The old universe is based on self and selfishness. Master's new universe is based on altruism and selflessness. Our cultivation process is to eliminate the selfishness from the tiniest of particles, and help other lives proceed to the future.
We must follow Master's teachings, let go of the fundamental attachment to self, become lives truly for the good of others, and complete the magnificent cultivation process.
Please kindly correct me where something is not appropriate based on the Fa.