(Minghui.org) Greetings, Master! Greetings, fellow practitioners!
I have cultivated in Falun Dafa since 1996, so it has been twenty years. Because of the persecution launched by Jiang Zemin, I was imprisoned for ten years for my belief, from 2006 to April 2016. Those were ten years of the time I have cultivated.
I have witnessed how prison guards and inmates do all they can to crush practitioners' spirits. Some practitioners were beaten to death, some were disabled, some became mentally ill, some had their families torn apart, some gave up their belief against their will, and some were successfully brainwashed by the Chinese Communist Party and now stand against Dafa.
I myself have endured a tremendous amount of hardship and almost lost my life. Yet, because of the Fa and because of Master's protection, I survived. With Master's help, I was able to get rid of my human notions and save people around me.
I have realized in the past ten years that, when a practitioner's cultivation state is good, it is because one has fewer human notions and understands the Fa principles well. When one's cultivation state is not good, it is because one is not doing what the Fa asks of us or cannot find one's human notions or the reason behind those attachments. My belief in Dafa did not change during my ten years of imprisonment. In fact, it become even firmer.
Remaining Resolute in Dafa
The past ten years that I was in prison were long and hard. I was tortured brutally. The evil has a tight grip on the guards and inmates and reinforces their demonic side when dealing with Dafa practitioners. They attack and brainwash Dafa practitioners who refuse to renounce their belief.
As soon as I arrived, ten people surrounded me and tried to brainwash me with the Chinese Communist Party (CCP)'s fabricated stories and lies slandering Falun Gong. They took turns attacking me in an attempt to “transform” me.
I turned away from them, didn't look, didn't listen, and completely ignored them. They said, “See, you can't even look us in the eye.” But when I did look at them in the eye to show them that I was not afraid, they backed down. “Why are you walking away? Come back. Look into my eyes.” They dared not look at me and quickly left.
Several inmates once surrounded me and tried to make me renounce Dafa. I used the principles that I had enlightened to in the Fa to refute their ridiculous theories and lies, leaving them speechless. They couldn't convince me and started cursing.
As a practitioner, I couldn't curse them back, so I started to repeat, “Falun Dafa is good” over and over, with my voice becoming louder and louder. They froze, stared straight into the air, and couldn't say a word. The guard heard me and came to check on us. He didn't say anything to me but yelled at the inmates.
I wrote a 20-page letter exposing the CCP's lies, gave examples of how Dafa benefited practitioners, and explained why one should quit the evil Party. But the guard I sent it to didn't let up on me. Instead, things got worse.
Cut Off from the Outside World and Tortured
During the 2008 Olympic Games, the evil was intense. The prison held as many as 300 Dafa practitioners each day during its peak. All who remained resolute in Dafa were detained in a covert section of the building.
This section was dark and gloomy and completely cut off from the rest of the prison. A metal gate at the entrance was locked at all times. Each cell was locked at all times with the curtains drawn. Nobody dared to ask who was detained there.
But when the practitioners were tortured, one could hear the curses, sounds of beatings, and the practitioners' miserable screams that sent chills down the spine. The guards and inmates didn't want anyone to hear the screams, so they sometimes turned up the TV volume to cover it up.
The torture methods used included tying us up, hanging, the spread eagle, and sitting on a small stool for long periods of time. These stools are really small and narrow and have small holes in the middle. Hard objects were inserted in these holes, and practitioners were forced to sit on them without moving for long periods of time, even when our buttocks developed infected wounds filled with pus.
To get me to “transform,” the guards and inmates tied my limbs to the four corners of a bed and repeatedly pulled on my arms and legs. The pain was excruciating. The bones in my arms separated at the joints. Dislocated bones stuck out on the sides of my shoulders for years.
I was tied to the bed in that position for two months straight and was not allowed to use the restroom. The inmates spoon-fed me every day. The pain was unbearable and drove me to the edge. I made two failed attempts to end my life. I nearly lost my mind and eventually gave up.
Cultivating in Dafa Again
I fell into a deep depression and hit rock bottom. But things are bound to turn around after reaching the limit. My determination to cultivate slowly reawakened. I thought to myself, “Well, if you can't die, then continue to cultivate.” My cultivation path arranged by Master was not meant to end, so I let the Fa be my guide and forged on.
I started to spend much of my time reciting whatever I could remember from Zhuan Falun and Essentials For Further Advancement. I also memorized Hong Yin and Hong Yin Vol. II. Even when I was not reciting the Fa, I focused on one thought, “Believe in Master, believe in the Fa.” I repeated this phrase tens of thousands of times until my brain became numb.
Master saw that I still had the heart to cultivate, so he strengthened me and gave me wisdom. He showed me many Fa principles.
Master said in Zhuan Falun,
“We have given everyone so many things. For all of you, as long as you truly cultivate and conduct yourselves strictly according to Dafa, I will treat you as my disciples. As long as you practice Falun Dafa, we will treat you as disciples. … If you do not cultivate, they will not take care of you. If you do cultivate, they will help you all the way to the end.”
Master also said,
“Our Falun Dafa will protect students from deviating. How does it protect you? If you are a true cultivator, our Falun will safeguard you. I am rooted in the universe. If anyone could harm you, he or she would be able to harm me. Put simply, that person would be able to harm this universe.” (Zhuan Falun)
This part of the Fa always moves me to tears. I realized that Master's fashen is always with me and protecting me. I didn't die, because I wouldn't be able to cultivate again if I had lost my human body.
It seemed on the surface that the pain was too great to overcome, so I compromised with the evil, but, in fact, it was nothing compared to the indescribable amount that Master had endured for me. Master's compassion and the grace of the Great Buddha cannot be described with human language and cannot be imagined with human thinking.
Finding My Human Notions Through Studying the Fa
As I recited a great amount of Fa, many of my human notions surfaced. For example, I had fear—I was afraid of being tortured if I told people about Dafa, I was afraid of being tied to the bed and enduring the pain again, and I was afraid of being “transformed.”
When I resisted being brainwashed and told the guards and inmates that they were wrong, I was being more or less competitive and argumentative. In my heart, I hated them and was not calm or kind enough.
I was pushing them to the opposite side without meaning to do so. I didn't treat them as beings who needed to be saved. Instead, I placed them on the opposite side of Dafa. The old forces exploited this shortcoming. I not only wasn't able to save them, but I also made trouble for myself.
As I became clear on the Fa principles and found my loopholes, I made up my mind to get rid of my human notions. Master saw that my xinxing had improved, so he arranged opportunities for me to get rid of them.
Overcoming Fear and Validating the Fa
The authorities tried desperately to keep practitioners from pooling our righteous energy inside the prison. We were not allowed to speak to each other. If we ever did, we were tortured. Whether or not one dared to validate the Fa—dared to say that Dafa was good, dared to clarify the truth—became the ultimate test to see whether an imprisoned cultivator could survive that vicious environment.
During a conversation with a guard, I mentioned my sister, who also practices Dafa. When the guard asked me how my sister's illness was cured, I paused—fear crept up on me. But when she asked again, I just blurted out, “Through practicing Falun Dafa.” And to my surprise, she didn't get angry. She just softly repeated what I said, and that was it.
That night, I had a dream. I saw many people who were very excited and were all talking about something. They pointed at my name and said, “She came back. She's back,” meaning I had proved myself a true cultivator again. They were so happy and told everybody about it.
When I woke up, I realized that they were sentient beings in my world who saw that I had stood up again after falling and had validated the Fa by clarifying the truth in such an evil environment. They saw hope and knew they could be saved, so they were happy and spreading the good news.
Master's encouragement increased my confidence in validating the Fa. I firmly resisted the lies and brainwashing that I was put through each day and did not write thought reports as ordered. I didn't wear a name tag and didn't cooperate with any rule that was specifically designed to “transform” practitioners.
The Division Head Changed
The evil beings watched me closely and were ready to attack at any time. Besides sending forth strong righteous thoughts to eliminate them, I also tried to get rid of my attachment to fear and used every opportunity to clarify the truth.
When I heard that a practitioner had been tortured to death, I couldn't stop crying. I went on a hunger strike to protest. When the inmates assigned to monitor me asked why I was not eating, I said, “My fellow practitioner was beaten to death, as if a practitioner’s life is worth nothing. Those responsible don't even have to deal with the consequences. I can't eat.”
This was reported to the division head, and she had a talk with me in her office. She first tried to find out who I heard it from. I said, “I can't tell you who told me. If I did, she would be in big trouble. I can't tell you.” Then, she denied that the practitioner was dead. I asked to see the practitioner, and that's when she became silent. I took the opportunity and told her more about Dafa.
She listened quietly for a long time. I told her, “Good will be rewarded with good and evil with evil. There will be karmic retribution for whoever is responsible.” She admitted in the end that she had made a mistake. “It's my fault. I didn't do a good job and caused the incident,” she said. I finished my three-day hunger strike without being force-fed.
The division head changed after our conversation. She visited practitioners often in each cell and told the inmates not to mistreat them. When I told her that some inmates tortured practitioners at night, she started doing a walk-through at night when she was on duty.
When I let go of my human notions and did things with compassion, the evil beings in other dimensions could not interfere anymore. Only when I had loopholes in my cultivation did the evil dare to persecute me.
Eliminating Interference with Righteous Thoughts
Since there is such a high concentration of evil in prison, clarifying the truth there is trickier than any place else. One needs to pick the right time and the right place and hopefully catch the guards in a good mood. One would want to avoid other guards and inmates so they don't have to worry being reported or getting into trouble.
If one has considered every aspect and catch them at the right moment, they will likely take a truth-clarification letter. The content of the letter should not evoke anything negative in them. One has to let them understand the truth without affecting their reputation or personal interests.
One also has to eliminate the interference and the evil beings that stop them from reading such letters. The first time I wrote a letter to the division head, she was very cautious and took the letter in a way that looked like she was confiscating it from me. I didn't know what she was thinking and got a little worried. I started to recite the Fa and sent forth righteous thoughts to eliminate all evil elements that were stopping her from being saved.
Master said,
“The old forces don't dare to oppose our clarifying the truth or saving sentient beings. What's key is to not let them take advantage of the gaps in your state of mind when you do things.” (“Teaching the Fa at the 2002 Fa Conference in Boston” from Teaching the Fa at the Conference II)
Master also said,
“The divine pens deter those demons in human skinLike sharpened blades, they extirpate rotten spiritsThe old forces pay not the Fa its due respectWielding the brush you shall subdue the surge of madness”(“Deterrence” from Hong Yin Volume II)
My righteous thoughts became stronger and stronger as I continued reciting the Fa, and my human notions and more evil factors were eliminated. I became very calm and confident. I didn't get into any trouble for the letter, and the division head became more receptive to the truth.
Each of my letters to this particular division head was least 30 pages long, and I wrote to her at least six times. I covered all aspects and thoroughly clarified the truth to her. One time, she told me, “You have written quite a book with those letters” and said that she liked reading them. As long as she was willing to read them, I continued to write to her.
A “Miracle Sharing Meeting”
I remember another division head to whom I didn't do such a good job of clarifying the truth. I was tortured as a result. “If only I had had a pure heart as I do now, perhaps I could have saved her,” I thought. But she had been transferred elsewhere.
However, since I had this thought, Master made arrangements. The current division head was transferred after she had learned the truth, and the previous division head came back. I took the opportunity arranged by Master and wrote her truth-clarification letters.
After receiving seven or eight 30-page letters, she told me to go to her office. I explained to her what Dafa is and how wrong the persecution is. I told her sincerely in the end, “Please believe me.” She asked what I was talking about. I said, “That Falun Dafa is good.” She was very moved.
I went on and told her that there have been many miracles among practitioners. “If it weren't because the real Buddha has descended to the human world, who would be so foolish and risk their lives to stay resolute and refuse to give it up?” I told her about the time a pair of shackles that was causing me so much pain just unlocked themselves and fell to the ground in front of my eyes.
“You're welcome to talk to those who have remained resolute in Dafa. They probably all have experienced such miraculous things,” I said. She replied, “I don't have to look into it. Tell them we'll have a meeting in a few days.” She thought about it and said, “We'll call it a miracle sharing meeting. You can all share the miracles that have happened to you.” I agreed.
Though such a meeting never took place, she had had a very righteous thought.
Clarifying the Truth in Letters
The inmates dared not to accept a truth-clarification letter if it was given to them directly. I looked for opportunities where I could give it to them while we were alone. Sometimes, I asked them to read through my drafts and got them to read the letters that way. Many of the inmates assigned to monitor me had learned the truth, and they didn't watch me as closely.
I wrote truth-clarification letters to the warden, assistant warden, five division heads, six guards, head of the education sector, prison doctor, and many inmates. The letters were almost always more than 30 pages long.
Master said,
“Clarifying the truth is the master key.” (“Teaching the Fa at the 2003 Atlanta Fa Conference” from Teaching the Fa at the Conference IV)
Master also said,
“Make known the truth and get rid of evil spirits.” (“To Save the World” from Hong Yin Vol. III)
People around me gradually learned the truth, and I started to enjoy a little bit of freedom within the division. I was able to go anywhere in the division without being questioned. One division head told everybody, “She can go upstairs or downstairs, and even go into the office. Don't stop her as long she is accompanied by an inmate.”
I am very grateful that Master had arranged an environment for me where I could deliver truth-clarification letters to people in person.
People Near Me Witness the Wonder of Dafa
When I first resumed doing the exercises, the inmates followed me every step of the way. I told them kindly that they didn't need to follow me so closely. I assured them I would take full responsibility if anything happened and that I would not get them into any trouble. They had all learned the truth, so they stopped following me and just reminded me not to stay in the room where I did the exercises for too long.
I looked for an opportunity to do the exercises every day. While I was hanging up a towel one day, one of the inmates said, “Oh, you don't have to stand on your tiptoes to hang the towel anymore. You can reach the hanger.” I had not been able to raise my arms completely after being tied to a bed and tortured. Through doing the Falun Dafa exercises, I had recovered.
After witnessing my recovery, this particular inmates didn't watch me at all anymore. If anybody saw me doing the exercises, she would help cover it up. She said to me before she was released, “Take care yourself. I only worry about you.”
New inmates were assigned to monitor me when old ones left. I clarified to the truth to all of them and helped some of them quit the Party. One of them voluntarily guarded the door for me whenever I did the exercises.
Once, I was meditating on the bed. A guard walking by asked, “Is she practicing Falun Gong?” The inmate replied, “No. She's just taking a rest.” The guard didn't say anything and left. She told me one day, “The bones aren’t sticking out in your shoulders any more. You look good.”
Creating an Environment for Doing the Exercises
Some inmates found out that I was doing the exercises and reported me to the prison guards. But the inmate monitoring me denied it. The guards didn't want to turn it into a big deal and told me not to use the room again. I thought to myself, “I have started doing the exercises, and I won't stop.”
As I walked down the hallway one day, I noticed an inmate following me. A few others were watching me from inside their cells through the open doors. I thought, “I will not stop doing the exercises just because people are watching. I'll do my exercises all the same.” I stopped and said loudly but calmly, “Don't you all want to see me do the exercises? Come on, I'll show you.”
After I said that, the one inmate following me ran back to her cell and closed the door. All the other doors closed, too. Nobody cared if I did the exercises after that.
I was doing the exercises under the surveillance camera one time. Just as I “followed the mechanism” and moved my hands down, I saw a guard approaching me. She asked me what I was doing. I told her. She said, “Doing the exercises right under the camera? Are you trying to get us all fired?”
I told her, “That's impossible. My doing the exercises benefits everyone, but I won't make trouble for anyone. It's my idea and my business. Don't punish the inmates. They all want to get released early.” She saw that I was very considerate of others and was touched.
She let me use the room again after that conversation and assigned an inmate to guard the room for me. Toward the end of my term, I could do the exercises freely. Whether it was the division head or the guards, if they saw me doing the exercises, they'd just turn around and walk away as if they didn't see anything.
I only had the wish to clarify the truth and to have an environment in which to do the exercises. Master arranged it all. In such an evil establishment of the CCP, if not for Master's compassion, how could I have ever done it myself?
I once again was enlightened to the deep meaning of Master's words:
“I am rooted in the universe. If anyone could harm you, he or she would be able to harm me. Put simply, that person would be able to harm this universe.” (Zhuan Falun)
Words cannot express my gratitude to Master.
