(Minghui.org) I started practicing Falun Gong (also called Falun Dafa) in 2004 in Beijing. My mother always read the teachings of the practice to me. Although I believed the miraculous nature of Dafa, seeking fun was my heavy attachment.
The first time I tried to do the sitting meditation, I could only do it for half an hour. When I first read Zhuan Falun, I had some thoughts not to believe what I was reading. I asked my mother if these were bad thoughts that needed to be eliminated. She said that they were, but I failed to do anything about it.
Now, fast forward to last year, and the same question about eliminating attachments kept coming up. I know that it’s important to remove our fundamental attachments, but what is my fundamental attachment?
I have been removing attachments throughout my cultivation, but they later return and they are sometimes stronger than before. I was anxious about this: Is there any hope in cultivating like this? Can I cultivate to consummation? If not, what shall I do?
I read some articles on Minghui.org about how to remove attachments to selfishness and not accepting criticism, which I know reside in me.
These attachments were from a postnatally-formed me and belong to the old cosmos. I knew that I had to cast them off to become a life in the new cosmos. It was also the same selfish element that dragged me down and slowed the speed of my cultivation. It was hidden deep inside me.
This selfishness was also reflected in my views of everyday people’s affairs. We should respect other practitioners, but I was more interested in listening to those who were capable in ordinary ways. Such as, who bought a house, who was financially better off, who had legal status, and who had a living allowance from the government. I was stuck in admiration of everyday people’s lives.
Master said:
“My Dafa disciples who have strong human thoughts: the path I’m leading you down heads toward godhood, yet some students just tenaciously cling to human notions.” (“In Fa-Rectification Your Thoughts Have to be Righteous, Not Human” from The Essentials for Diligent Progress, Vol. III)
“Whether you can let go of ordinary human attachments is a fatal test on your way to becoming a truly extraordinary being. Every disciple who truly cultivates must pass it, for it is the dividing line between a cultivator and an everyday person.” (“True Cultivation” from Essentials for Further Advancement)
After realizing the importance of letting go of my everyday people’s notions, my body felt much lighter. Many bad thoughts and attachments to fame, profit and emotion disappeared. An invisible barrier separated those things from my true self. I could still see them, but they could not lure my heart like before.
Master gave me hints to let me see my fundamental attachments and helped me to remove them.
I was so attached to sentimentality. Family problems consumed too much of my time. I could not manage to do the three things well and became resentful and felt that life was unfair.
Nothing is accidental during cultivation, and my attachment needed to be removed. However, there were some barriers that I just could not climb over.
I always met with obstacles, and kept falling down on my cultivation path. I finally realized that all of the problems that I came across were to help me pay for my karma and remove my attachments.
Master said:
“The attachments you can’t let go of around ordinary people all have to be let go. All your attachments, as long as you have them, all have to be worn down in different settings. You will stumble, and from that grasp the truth. That’s how you cultivate.” (Zhuan Falun)
Family relationships can provide a very good cultivation environment. The most common problem between me, my family members and fellow practitioners was that I looked for their attachments and ignored looking within.
I remember reading an article long ago. The author said that emotion was like water. Non-practitioners were soaked in emotion, like a fish soaked in water. They felt comfortable in it, but the birds thought that the fish were suffering because they could not live without water.
I told myself that I am like a bird, not a fish. I needed to break out of emotion and replace it with compassion.
My mind felt much lighter after Master removed that attachment for me.
My son practices Falun Gong, and we’ve helped each other improve in our cultivation. He reluctantly agreed to study two lectures of Zhuan Falun with me every day.
However, he couldn't sit still and always moved around or talked when I was reading. I had to control myself not to lose my temper. Initially, I drove him to a quiet place to study the Fa in my car so he couldn't find an opportunity to do something else.
He lost his temper a few times because he couldn't always concentrate to read, or he simply didn't want to study the Fa. He was once so noisy that I could hardly read.
I knew that I had to maintain my xinxing, so I kept reading and ignored his behavior. He soon stopped being disruptive and joined me to study the Fa, as if nothing had happened. The longer he read, the more serious he became.
I asked him later, “Why did you stop your trouble-making?”
“I was wrong,” he replied. “Studying the Fa should be serious, and it's a really good thing.”
He never made trouble again while studying the Fa.
I always got him to practice the five sets of exercises with me every evening. As a result, he became a good student and was often ranked in the top five during his last school term.
His teacher called me to say that he behaves very well in school. He also likes to answer questions and is very self-disciplined.
We often share our understandings of the Fa and point out each others attachments. I found that he had many good traits. He was never hurt by what others said and did not resent them after being criticized.
I used to think that he was a burden for me. Now we are more like fellow practitioners helping each other to cultivate diligently.
With more attachments removed, I can study the Fa more attentively and pass tribulations easier. I can reach a state of tranquility in meditation, as if sitting in an eggshell.
I know cultivation has no shortcuts, and I have to cultivate my xinxing solidly each and every time.
I still have a long way to go on my cultivation path, and I am far from the Fa’s requirements. But merciful Master has never given up on me. As such, I should fulfill my vow and carry out my mission.
I would like to quote Master’s poem to encourage both myself and other practitioners:
Present, but the heart elsewhere—Perfectly reconciled with the world.Looking, but caring not to see—Free of delusion and doubt.Listening, but caring not to hear—A mind so hard to disturb.Eating, but caring not to taste—The palate’s attachments severed.Doing, but without pursuit—So constant, abiding in the Dao.Calm, but without strain of thought—The truly wondrous can be seen. (Hong Yin)