(Minghui.org) During my 18 years of cultivation in Falun Dafa, I've deeply learned the importance of looking within. Once we let go of human notions and look inward, even the most difficult issues become easier to hand.
Since the persecution of Falun Dafa started in 1999, I've done many things to let people know about Dafa and the persecution.
I lived in Beijing, but my resident registration was in another city, so I considered myself safe from the authorities since the police in neither city could track me down. Furthermore, I often changed my residence in Beijing.
This way I was able to produce and distribute informational materials about Dafa, organize Fa study groups, and host practitioners who were forced to leave their home to avoid arrest. I believed that I was safe to do all of this, not because of my righteous thoughts, but rather due to my resident situation.
I relied on luck and was taking chances, so the old forces took advantage of my loopholes. I was arrested and imprisoned for eight years. Even after my release, local officials refused to issue me an ID card and they kept harassing me. I was forced to stay away from home as a result.
Practitioners have been filing lawsuits against Jiang Zemin on a large scale since May 2015. I understood the significance of this and also encouraged other practitioners to do the same. However, I was hesitant, as it required me to use my real identity to file the criminal complaint. Would my safety be at risk by doing this?
I examined my thoughts again and found my mentality of fear. This is a major attachment for many practitioners including me, that the old forces can take advantage of. With this understanding, I knew what I should do.
Right before I was ready to mail out my criminal complaint, a practitioner told me that the local postal offices had refused to forward on such documents. I then read of news that some practitioners in Gansu Province had been arrested for suing Jiang.
Nonetheless, I knew that I was doing the right thing because I was following Master's teachings. I no longer had fear this time. With righteous thoughts I went to the post office and mailed my criminal complaint. I went there again three days later and helped another practitioner send her criminal complaint. Everything went fine both times.
My criminal complaint was later published on the Minghui website. At the same time, another practitioner in the local area was arrested for filing their complaint. Someone said that a massive arrest of practitioners had been planned by the Political and Legal Affairs Committee, and all those who filed lawsuits against Jiang would be included.
I had to go to the police department for some errands at that time. Usually I would worry if I ran into trouble, but with faith in Master I knew that I would be okay.
I went to the police department as scheduled, and nothing bad happened to me.
From this experience I learned to overcome the mentality of fear. Master has paved the way for us, and it is up to us to walk well on the path.
Master said,
“We require you to be a completely extraordinary person, to completely give up your own interests and to be entirely for others. What do those Great Enlightened Beings live for? They’re entirely for others.” (“Explaining the Fa for Falun Dafa Assistants in Changchun” in Explaining the Content of Falun Dafa)
I have been trying to follow these words, but sometimes was unable to achieve it. I was brought up with the doctrine of “struggle” from the Party culture. The severe persecution of Falun Dafa over the past 16 years made me even more against the vicious police officers in my heart. I know I should be compassionate towards them because they are also people we should save, but in reality I tended to associate them with wickedness.
Such negative emotions developed further during the eight years I was imprisoned. I knew that I needed to study the Fa, but the guards kept stopping me from doing so. Instead of achieving what I wanted with righteous thoughts and compassion, I collected evidences against the guards who interfered with me.
Some inmates told me that they had bribed the guards so they could do certain things. I also saw cases in which guards had violated the prison rules. To avoid me reporting them to prison management, these guards allowed me to study the Fa.
This continued for about two years, until a new young officer arrived. Initially, he also didn't bother me when I studied the Fa, but seeing my blunt attitude and tough tone in front of the other guards, he had a bad impression of me. Then one day, he took my book Zhuan Falun when I was not around.
I tried to look inward after this incident and talked with the young officer about Dafa and the persecution.
My hatred and thought of revenge lasted a long time, even after I was released. I couldn't calm down sometimes to meditate because of this. I knew that I lacked compassion, but it was difficult for me to solve this problem.
I had to apply for a new ID card after the police confiscated my old one, and it was approved. However, staff at the local police station refused to issue it to me. My first thought was of hatred and blame, and to complain to the police station director.
I knew the director was in the wrong for not issuing the ID card, and thought about reporting him to higher officials for managing his own business during working hours, which I had overheard.
When I thought about it further, I realized that I would not be helping to save him if I reported him. I should handle the situation with compassion, not hatred. All of these people are waiting for salvation and we should do our best to help them.
After having this positive attitude, I soon received my new ID card. I knew that I had done the right thing, and so Master helped me.
When I was once watching the Shen Yun performance, one of the scenes was where police officers were beating a practitioner. But when the practitioner treated an officer with selfless compassion, the officer came to learn the truth about Dafa and was saved. It was then that I knew this is the compassion we need to have.
As Dafa disciples, we should constantly rectify ourselves. Once we let go of human notions and upgrade our xinxing, many problems will be resolved.