(Minghui.org) A human being accumulates many attachments throughout his or her lifetime, with one example being jealousy. As I understand it, Falun Dafa practitioners must let go of these attachments while on the cultivation path.
For several years, I held strong attachments to jealousy, fame and gain, but was truly unaware of how deep they were.
Even though I cared about my position and always wanted to perform better than others, I always missed out on promotions as compared to my co-workers. I changed positions several times, but was never assigned to a challenging job and always felt that there was no room to grow.
I held my current job for two years. After two of my co-workers left, I was given more responsibility, and I regularly worked overtime. To keep me from looking for another job, the director promoted me to a supervisory position.
However, when I received the formal promotion letter after two months, I noticed that I was only promoted half-a-level and that I was still not a proper supervisor. I thought that I had been tricked, so I frequently complained.
Two people work under me and each supports a different sales team. One of them is very capable. The director often gives her some special benefits or bonuses. During the end-of-year performance evaluation, the director again and again emphasized how well she worked, but never mentioned my hard work.
Because I was not very diligent or solid in my cultivation, I did not feel happy for her. Although outwardly I looked calm, I seethed and felt that this was unfair! I could not understand why no one noticed all my hard work.
I was also very jealous of coworkers who were given overseas training, those who participated in major projects, and even those who had opportunities to study English. These attachments tortured me for about four years.
Master said,
“The issue of jealousy is very serious as it directly involves the matter of whether you can complete cultivation practice. If jealousy is not abolished, everything that you have cultivated will become fragile. There is this rule: If in the course of cultivation practice jealousy is not given up, one will not attain Right Fruit—absolutely not.” (Zhuan Falun)
I finally realized how intense my jealousy was and I was determined to eliminate it.
The director called me for last year's end-of-year performance evaluation. Before we talked, I thought, “This time I must put aside my attachments and act like a Falun Dafa practitioner.” He told me that he gave one of my staff the highest level of evaluation, I was very calm and said that I agreed and that she had done a wonderful job. Then, he praised my work, and gave me the second highest level evaluation.
I remained calm and was very touched. I was so thankful to Master because He helped me eliminate the attachment that had bothered me for so long. I experienced the state of deep peace after one eliminates a strong attachment.
Our department holds an annual sales meeting every year that lasts three or four days. The employees who work for our department throughout the country attend this meeting. This year I was determined to clarify the facts about Dafa at the meeting, but I felt restrained by something when it came time to do so. I became anxious when the meeting was almost over and there had not been an opportunity, so I asked Master for help.
Our director is very interested in Chinese medicine and he wanted to see everyone's tongue. It felt strange, but he insisted. He was surprised after he looked at my tongue and told me that my health is quite good.
I immediately took this opportunity and told everyone how my family and I benefited from practicing Falun Dafa and asked them to remember “Falun Dafa is good; Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good.”
I talked about an elderly lady who suddenly got very ill, and how I had told her to recite these two sentences and she immediately recovered. I also told them about the Tiananmen self immolation hoax and how the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) brutally persecutes Falun Dafa. I could tell that it was the first time these people listened to the facts about Dafa.
Master said,
“You are cultivators, whose conduct is [supposed to be] pure and righteous. There are so many people who think you're great just by having seen how you act. If we don't pay attention to our own behavior in our daily lives, everyday people will see our actions and, since they can't get to know you at a deep level such as by studying the Fa, they will just look at how you act. And it's possible that one sentence or one action of yours will make them unsavable or create a bad impression of Dafa. We need to think about these things.” (“Teaching the Fa at the 2002 Fa Conference in Boston” in Teaching the Fa at the Conference II)
I often remind myself to watch my words and actions and do things according to a cultivator's criteria. If anything disturbs me at work, I look inside for an attachment.
If I get too busy and do not have time to study the Fa and do the exercises, my environment deteriorates. If I then have righteous thoughts and resume study and exercise, my environment soon changes. I no longer argue when I hold a different opinion. When anyone has a bad attitude, I no longer complain. During lunch, I study the Fa and read Dafa cultivation articles.
As I live quite far from my company, I used to take the second morning shuttle and arrived at work one hour late. I thought that this was alright for a senior employee. Then, I realized that this was wrong and so I took the first shuttle. I used the extra time to talk to my co-workers about the persecution.
My company often gives employees small gifts, and I distribute them. Sometimes employees want to give something back to me. In the past, I would refuse but if they insisted, I would eventually accept them. But, this was wrong and I no longer accept any gifts. I also am trying to return what I had accepted in the past.
I used to choose the work that I wanted to do or the jobs I felt were important, but I no longer do that. When I put aside my selfish mentality and face difficulties with a tranquil mind, I find that it is indeed, “After passing the shady willow trees, there will be bright flowers and another village ahead!” (Zhuan Falun)
Personal gains and losses are in fact trivial things. What is much more important is clarifying the facts to save people. I realized that all my co-workers have predestined relationships with me and I must use every opportunity to tell them the facts and give them a chance to choose a good future for themselves and their families.