(Minghui.org) I woke up one morning about two weeks ago feeling extremely tired. I had never felt that way before.
I forced myself to get up and go to work. I wondered if this was karma elimination, or did I need to negate the old forces' arrangement? Then, I wondered if I had blood clots in my heart, because one of my colleagues had been diagnosed with that. By the afternoon, I felt better. I was able to get up the next morning and do the Falun Dafa exercises.
However, I still felt somewhat tired. Some days were better than others. Sometimes my hands were stiff, just like people who had a stroke, while at other times I felt chest pain, fatigue, and difficult speaking. I sent forth righteous thoughts, but saw no improvement. As this situation continued, I felt very discouraged.
When I went to bed last night, my chest hurt again and I felt miserable. I shouted in my head, “Master, help me!” At that moment, I saw the words “look within” in my mind. I became alarmed, and tried to recall and examine what I had done recently.
I did the exercises and listened to Master's Fa lectures on my way home from work. I also distributed Dafa informational materials and sent forth righteous thoughts regularly. Everything seemed as it should be. At work, I don't have to hide that I am a practitioner. There was not any serious gap that I could think off.
However, I was shocked when I examined my daily life. I had surfed the internet for articles about how to keep healthy and fit. For example I read up on what type of food is good for keeping a healthy stomach, what kind of drink is good for the liver, physical exercises for the neck, the benefit of soaking my feet with hot water, taking cold showers, and so on.
I had taken cold showers, and then soaked my feet in hot water as an article suggested. I eased my mind with the thought that I did not take any medication, so whatever I did was okay.
Master said true cultivators have no illnesses. But, I tried to keep myself healthy by exercising and following regimens prescribed by everyday people. I put myself at everyday people's level and was afraid of being sick. I followed the habitual thoughts of everyday people without even noticing it.
In fact, many middle-aged and elderly practitioners have similar habitual thoughts. When one experiences any discomfort, the first thought is usually “is it a problem with this or that?” I personally believe that this is a test for a cultivator – a test of believing in Master and the Fa.