(Minghui.org) I was imprisoned for nearly 13 years merely for being a Falun Dafa practitioner.
I was able to come out in one piece by remaining steadfast in my trust in Master and Dafa, and by reciting Master’s Fa and Hong Yin that I had previously committed to memory.
After my release, I immediately began studying the Fa and doing the exercises wholeheartedly.
Fellow practitioners provided me with all of Master’s Fa lectures as well as Minghui articles and other materials. They helped me and encouraged me to improve in cultivation.
The more I studied the Fa and looked within, the more I realized the depth of Master’s compassion. Tears often streamed down my face.
I could sense Master pushing me forward. Even in my dreams, I could feel the Law Wheel carrying me upward. I was undergoing various physical and mental changes every day.
After three months of studying the Fa alone at home, I joined our local Fa study group, and slowly, started to go out and let more people know about Falun Dafa and the persecution.
I've been through many trials and tribulations in cultivation, from which I was able to appreciate what Master says about looking inward being a magic tool for improvement. I felt that I had only just come to understand what true cultivation is all about.
Getting Rid of Attachments
Having been imprisoned for so long, I could feel a huge gap between myself and other practitioners. So I set strict requirements and tried to grasp every opportunity to do the three things well, to catch up with other practitioners and the progress of Fa-rectification.
During that period of time, I quickly mastered how to print materials using the computer and other devices, and began to address some of the technological problems I encountered.
More than a year after my return home, I noticed that local practitioners were lacking in overall co-ordination. I also sensed a long-term rift in the whole body of practitioners. So I took the initiative to assume the coordination role in the hope of gaining better cooperation among practitioners across the region.
As a result, there arose different opinions and reactions from various practitioners. Some agreed there was need for such coordination; some worried that I would be targeted by the authorities and persecuted again; and some would not come into contact with me, afraid that police surveillance and tracking would be abound because of the role I had taken up. Even when there was a need to come together to expose the Chinese Communist Party (CCP), some would still be unwilling to get involved.
I also knew that practitioners were talking behind my back, saying that I had not paid attention to studying the Fa, that I had a strong desire to perform, that because I was recently released from prison I should start my cultivation as a new practitioner, and so on.
I could appreciate the worry and concern of fellow practitioners, but I believed that I was aware of my personal state of studying and understanding the Fa, so I didn’t feel the need to explain myself to them. I could feel Master pushing me forward and the Fa principles continued to appear in my mind.
Within two years after I returned home from prison, I had read through all of Master’s Fa Teachings and other articles published since the beginning of the persecution on July 20, 1999, 11 times.
Through studying the Fa seriously and diligently, it had become clear to me that practitioners should walk well on their designated cultivation paths.
Each person’s prehistoric vows are different, but when I observed the state of rift among our local practitioners, I felt everyone had the responsibility to take the initiative to bridge the gap and form an overall strong one body to better validate the Fa.
Although I have been persecuted for so many years, my attitude has always been positive and I have continued to make strict demands of myself, so it was difficult to notice practitioners who were not so serious about seizing opportunities and being bogged down by attachments to ease and comfort.
Sometimes, I would impose my sense of urgency and strong opinions onto other practitioners, often without enough compassion. Practitioners would point out my strong attachment to validating myself.
In my attempt to carry out coordination work, oftentimes I would be given the cold shoulder, which was very hard to take - that sorely tested my xinxing. I asked myself why, when I wasn’t doing anything for myself, was I being treated this way?
Then I remembered that nothing is coincidental in the life of a cultivator.
I continued to study the Fa and look inward. Slowly, I dug up an abundance of human notions and attachments: a desire to show off, a feisty fighting spirit, a need to validate myself, a longing for appreciation and approval, and a strong urge to seek fame and gain. Subconsciously I had developed a notion of superiority.
When I uncovered the filth in my heart, it was no surprise that practitioners found it hard to accept my lead in the coordination work! I should have known that I couldn't have accomplished anything without Masters support and guidance.
Cultivation is very serious. Not even a single human notion is allowed to remain. Master uses every opportunity to expose our attachments so we can get rid of them and elevate.
I worked on rectifying my thoughts and actions in accordance with Dafa’s principles, and gradually practitioners began to change their attitude towards me.
Expanding the Volume of My Heart’s Capacity
Quite a few practitioners in our area were arrested towards the end of last year. Our regional coordinator was among them. Dafa materials in our various storage facilities were also confiscated.
It was a great loss, as practitioners didn't have materials to hand out to people. It also had a big affect on practitioners, with a general feeling of insecurity and fear of being arrested.
As I was in frequent contact with the arrested practitioners, all speculations as to how this happened were concentrated on me.
Some practitioners said that I must have been followed by the police, so they warned me to be careful. Some believed that I was not arrested with the others so I could lead the police to more practitioners, so I was advised to stay put for the time being. A practitioner told me outright, “Our small group has to close down because of you. Don’t give us any further security risks or worries.”
These reactions affected me deeply. For a while, I became afraid and somewhat depressed. So I spent a lot of time sending righteous thoughts to clean up the old force elements surrounding me.
I was gradually able to feel the return of stability in my cultivation and my energy field became increasingly strong.
I realized that I could not let our overall cultivation environment be negatively impacted and disrupted. We must be able to freely validate the Fa and make all necessary plans to rescue fellow practitioners without fear or interference.
I decided to collect telephone numbers and addresses of the public security departments, so that practitioners could start using the database to make calls and send them mail, to inform them of the situation.
I sent the database to people who make phone calls to China to seek their assistance. I also made stickers with information exposing the recent arrests.
No matter what response or reactions I received from other practitioners, I just used Dafa to measure and weigh everything against what I was doing.
Master said:
“… carrying the Fa in your mind, doing whatever needs to be done, and doing whatever you wish to do, as long as Dafa needs it.” (“Teaching the Fa at the Fa Conference at the U.S. Capital”)
A few practitioners did quietly join me, helping to look for the arrested practitioners’ family members and lawyers.
They even went with the family members to the public security office to seek the release of the arrested practitioners, and sent forth righteous thoughts to eliminate any inference in other dimensions.
Slowly, we formed a cohesive group.
I went to a practitioner’s house one time, but she had a cold look in her eyes when she opened the door. She didn’t even invite me in. I thought it was odd, but didn’t dwell on it.
I was chatting with another practitioner two days later, and the topic turned to the recent arrests. She told me that practitioners in her small group were sharing opinions about me.
One of the arrested practitioner’s family members, who also practices Falun Dafa, had been questioning why those who have constant contact with me had all been arrested, yet I remained free.
There was rumor that I had played a role in the arrest, and that I was suspected of having acted as a spy to betray other practitioners. There were also warnings floating about that nobody should share information with me any more.
I was shocked! It's incredible that practitioners who heard such talk would not give it some rational thought. Why didn’t they make their judgment in accordance with Dafa? My resentment showed its ugly face. I felt an inexplicable sense of grievance.
When I talked with other practitioners I was full of complaints. A practitioner reminded me, “When you look inward, when you rectify yourself, everything will change.”
I decided to study the Fa more diligently and look at my heart more sincerely. The old forces may try to take advantage of my loopholes, but I will deny them. I will work hard to sort out my problems and will continue to do what I should do, and need to do.
During Fa study, I experienced an epiphany.
All at once, I felt I had grown very tall and the volume in my heart had broadened to an infinite capacity. I experienced a strong sense of consideration and tolerance toward all lives.
Master said:
“They are in a state of immense tolerance, of mercy toward all beings, and of being able to understand everything with kindness. To put it in human terms, they're always able to be understanding of others.” (“Teaching the Fa at the 2002 Fa Conference in Boston”)
All feelings of being wronged and of resentment were gone. Tears welled up as I experienced Master's magnanimous and immeasurable compassion.
As a particle of Dafa I need to unconditionally do what Master asks us to do, and unconditionally look inward to melt into the Fa. So that whatever I do, the starting point should always be pure and selfless.
When I again met up with the practitioner who gave me the cold look before, she took the initiative to share with me her new understandings of cultivation. In that we must measure things with the Fa, and not be influenced by others or their opinions.
Her words melted away all rifts that existed between us. Life can only elevate in the Fa with unconditional looking inward.
I write this article to express my deepest appreciation toward Master’s infinite compassion. I can only resolve to cultivate with more and more diligence.
Category: Journeys of Cultivation
