(Minghui.org) I have been a Falun Dafa practitioner since 1996, and I live in the countryside. Soon after taking up the practice my health improved and my mind became much clearer.
Before I started to practice Dafa I had vertigo and was often in a state of confusion. I contracted rheumatism after I gave birth to my children and my legs were always cold, even during summer. I tried all types of medication but nothing helped.
My relatives helped me with the farming work, and that was a good thing. However, since I lived on a limited income, I wondered how I was going to feed my relatives. I was anxious about failing to care for my family. Thus, I resented my fate and felt angry and depressed.
My son and daughter had asthma and bronchitis from the time they were very young. I treated them with various folk remedies but they had no effect. I thought I must be suffering karmic retribution for having committed bad deeds in my previous life and thus had to take care of my two sick children in this life.
My daughter had a fragile physique and poor immune system. She was constantly on medication and often missed school. From childhood, her only wish was to be able to breathe like a normal person.
When my son grew up he got married and had a baby girl. She was sick from the time she was born. Being farmers they were allowed to have a second child if the first one was a girl, but they believed that illness was hereditary and decided not to have a second one.
Once I practiced Falun Dafa, my health and mental state improved. Within just a few months I became healthy. I no longer was depressed and anxious.
Seeing the changes in me after learning Falun Dafa, my son and daughter also stepped into this cultivation practice. Soon after starting to practice, they recovered from their illnesses.
My son gained weight and became stronger. He no longer had a bad temper, but became considerate. He often told my husband stories about what he experienced while practicing Falun Dafa. He was like a new person.
My daughter's health brought happiness to everyone around her. My husband saw how the practice changed and improved our physical and mental health and was very supportive. For several years we lived a harmonious life on our family farm.
My daughter was illegally arrested at work in 2012. When I heard the news I rushed to the police station just as she was put in a police car. I told her, “It does not matter what happens, we should remember that we are practitioners and follow the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance.” Shortly after her arrest she was sent to a forced labor camp for a year because she refused to renounce Falun Dafa.
The night she was arrested I stood in front of the window and stared into the evening sky and said, “My daughter did nothing wrong. How could this happen?” I felt helpless and could not sleep that night.
Several practitioners came to my house the next day. They suggested that I go out to inform people about Falun Dafa and the persecution. I was encouraged and studied the Dafa books with them in the mornings and went out to talk to people about Falun Dafa in the afternoon. I knew that practicing Falun Dafa is not wrong and that I should not feel defeated because of my daughter's arrest.
But every now and then thoughts of my daughter tugged at my heartstrings. We had been so close before her arrest and often shared cultivation experiences. I depended on her for emotional support. I told her about my worries and she always comforted and supported me. Being the heart and soul of our family, her sudden imprisonment left me feeling alone and depressed.
My thoughts and emotions about my daughter reminded me that I should not be so attached. Recognizing my attachment, I was determined to let it go.
Alone on my daughter's birthday I sank into emotion. I sat on the bed and cried. Suddenly, I had a strong thought telling me, “Cry no more. Go read the books.” I wiped my tears and began to read the Dafa books. I realized I could not allow my emotions to control me. I knew I must get rid of the attachment to sentimentality.
From that day on I did not cry when I thought about my daughter. When I visited her in the labor camp each month, I remained calm and encouraged her to keep her faith, and to adhere to the Dafa principles.
My son was arrested in 2011. He was held for one month and then sentenced to one year of forced labor. On the way to the forced labor camp, he had hypertension symptoms and the camp refused to accept him. He was taken home.
At home, the local police officers harassed and intimidated him and his family. The pressure on them was enormous. They had no choice but to leave their home and look for another place to live. After enduring a long period of stress and pressure from constantly moving from place to place my son had a stroke and died. Watching them struggle to survive was a torment. I felt helpless and I could hardly breathe from the trauma of losing my son, the imprisonment of my daughter and the suffering of my daughter-in-law and granddaughter.
After my son's death I stopped going to the group Fa study and no longer talked to people about Falun Dafa. I just stayed at home and read Dafa books. I read them during the day and copied them at night. Finally, I walked out of the entanglements of sentimentality. As long as I read the books, my heart felt opened and my xinxing elevated.
Studying the Fa principles allowed me to understand cultivation and how to overcome tribulations. I often recited the poems by Mr. Li Hongzhi, the founder of Falun Dafa,
“To consummate yourself, reaping Buddha hood,Let joy be found in hardship.Physical pains count little as suffering,Indeed, cultivating mind is hardest.Each and every barrier must be broken through,And everywhere does evil lurk.Abundant troubles rain down together,All to see: Can you pull through?The world’s miseries endured,One departs the earth a Buddha.” (“Tempering the Will” from Hong Yin)
Little by little, I removed the chains of sentimentality. I became more determined to practice Falun Dafa. This was the vow I made and the mission I had accepted.
My daughter is out of prison now. She has rediscovered her faith in Dafa and is in a new cultivation environment. We are fulfilling our vow to walk the path of cultivation that was arranged for us.