(Minghui.org) Resentment, resulting from anger, disappointment, disgust, and hatred, is an attachment that should be discarded by a cultivator.
Root of Resentment
I resented my family, from as far back as I can remember. When I was only six years old, my maternal grandfather, who was in poor health, demanded that someone take care of him.
Although I had three siblings, my parents sent me to my grandfather. I had to do many chores that shouldn’t have been required by someone as young as me during my six years in his home.
Grandfather had a temper, and he cursed at me whenever he did not feel well. As a result, I developed resentment, and thought that my parents had abandoned me. Fortunately, at the age of 12 my aunt took my grandfather to her home and I returned to my parents.
Since I was not accepted into a high school, my parents told me to find a job, even though I was not yet 18 years old. I had to give my earnings to my mother, who gave me a few yuan as an allowance. This was not enough to dress as fashionable as my co-workers. My family did not need my earnings, so my resentment grew.
When my retired father got ill, we needed a lot of money for his treatments. And naturally it was I who shouldered all these responsibilities. My resentment grew even more.
Shattered Hope
I moved to Beijing in 1996 and met my husband. He had a very bad temper, had been divorced twice, and was diabetic. He promised to help take care of my parents, so I agreed to marry him.
However, my life after marriage was not good. After my parents came to Beijing, my siblings also moved to Beijing, and my home was just like a hotel. My husband and I were both exhausted. If I did not take care of them, my mother argued with me, which upset me.
My parents helped my sister with her dowry, and my brothers got some help when they got married. Yet, they did not give me a single penny when I got married. Instead, they demanded we support them and my siblings. My resentment kept growing.
Naturally, my husband was not happy about the situation, which was understandable. His life was not easy, and he was in poor physical health. His temper thus worsened, and I had to bear the brunt of his anger.
Believing the Truth
After many years, I visited my aunt and uncle in my hometown in 2008. Seeing them was a surprise, as they were healthy and could walk up steps and do chores with ease. I remembered them as being in poor health when I previously saw them. They attributed their change to Falun Dafa, a spiritual practice.
My uncle gave me the book Zhuan Falun. I immediately sat down and read the book. The more I read, the more I felt that the book made sense. Many questions I had about life were clearly explained by the author, Master Li Hongzhi.
Still, my mind was filled with many questions, “Why was such a good practice banned? Why do they persecute practitioners? How much money could be saved from health improvements after practicing Dafa? How nice it would be if everyone was good? What is wrong with this country?”
My uncle patiently answered many of my questions. I also learned that the Tiananmen Square Self-immolation was staged by the government. I soon understood the nature of the Party and why they persecuted this cultivation practice.
Turning Point
I did not hesitate to practice Falun Dafa and rectify myself with the Fa. I finally understood the predestined relationship with my parents. I let go of many attachments, and also began doing many things that Falun Dafa practitioners are supposed to do. Resentment, however, is an attachment I found difficult to let go.
My husband was very bad-tempered, narrow-minded, and argumentative over small things. He did not get another job after he was laid off more than 20 years ago, and I was the sole supporter of my family. When he was in a good mood he prepared dinner for me, but when he was in a bad mood, he would just lay around.
The resentment that had accumulated over the years hit me with great force after I started practicing Dafa, and I burst into tears in front of Master.
I felt so wronged for everything that had happened since my childhood. I wanted to leave everything behind, but before my thought was put into action, I looked at Master's photo: It was as if Master was looking back at me with great compassion.
This was a turning point. I knew I needed to treat everyone around me with kindness. Yet, no matter what, everyone kept bullying me.
Master said:
“The surface skins of the people in this world were created by gods, and, as if they were an article of clothing, they are now worn by divine beings who descended here; the majority of these beings are divine figures from the heavens. It follows, then, that the people now in this world are not so simple. So despite the various appearances that the things of human society have, the many trades or occupations people are in, and the different kinds of people there are, however a person may come across is really nothing like how he is at his core. Just think for a moment about what it was like for a divine being to come to this world and be human. Wouldn’t he have been aware of what the human world would be like? It is perilous and terrible. And yet he had the courage to forgo his divine status and take the leap, coming here and turning human. So just on the merit of this alone Dafa disciples should save him. These beings are just like you Dafa disciples, who managed to come here and take on such tremendous missions and responsibilities. Could you not have known what would become of this setting? It would have been hard to imagine saving people when you yourself might have even been ruined here. And yet you came. And they did the same. They came, with the thought that this Fa would certainly save them and with full confidence in Dafa. Then that alone should be reason enough for us to save them, shouldn’t it? You absolutely should save them. They once were incomparably holy gods. If you are to do this well, you have to be consistently diligent at cultivation and constantly strengthen yourselves.” (“Fa teaching Given at the 2015 New York Fa Conference”)
Stone-Like Substance Disappears
I then looked within and realized that the disdain I held for my husband was actually helping to temper me. It was also helping eliminate my resentment.
My husband believes in Master and Dafa. He also believes that as a practitioner I can save him. I think that he came with the mission to help me eliminate my resentment. As such, he did what he was supposed to—he came for me.
I am turning 50 years old soon, and the resentment in my heart was deeply rooted. I should thank my husband for being courageous enough to come and help me.
Again I thought of Master's teaching:
“Instead of being angry with him, you should thank him in your heart and thank him sincerely.” (Zhuan Falun)
It has been so many years since I began studying the Fa. Yet it took me until now to understand what Master taught.
I finally understood what was required of me. And because I did not know about it then, I developed a large amount of resentment. In the future I have to treat all my family members with kindness and thankfulness.
When I came to this new understanding of he Fa, a stone-like substance in my chest disappeared. All the resentment in my heart disappeared, and I felt light and at peace.
