(Minghui.org) I live in a rural area, and there is a lot more work to do in the countryside compared to an apartment in the city. Even though I was doing the three things daily, I only had time to study one lecture each day. I kept telling myself to study more the next day, but I could never find the time.
My periods became very irregular recently, and I didn't stop bleeding for two months. This was very odd, considering I am 48. At first I didn't take it seriously. I thought, “After I get through this busy time, I’ll settle down and study the Fa well.”
But as soon as my work was done, I came down with sickness karma. I lost a lot of blood, and I felt weak and dizzy. Moreover, bad thoughts kept popping into my mind, as if the old forces were going to make me die.
I asked myself, “Am I here to validate Dafa or damage Dafa? I've cultivated for 20 years, and everyone knows that my health has greatly improved because of it. What would they think if they saw me like this? I cannot make Dafa look bad.”
I asked Master to help me. I said in my heart, “Master, your disciple did not cultivate diligently, so the old forces have taken advantage and persecuted me. I promise I will rectify myself in the Fa.”
I asked for Master's help over and over again when I found myself in great hardship. Not only was I exhausted all the time, but I also had to fight off the bad thoughts that constantly popped into my mind, such as that I was failing and that my Fa-study or righteous thoughts weren't effective. My thoughts had weakened significantly.
I studied the lecture “Fa Teaching at the 2015 West Coast Fa Conference.” Master said:
“Some of our practitioners are struggling with passing the tests of sickness karma. Don’t think that it’s necessarily something major [that causes that]. You might think that you haven’t done anything majorly wrong, and that you are very firm in your faith in the Fa. However, you shouldn’t treat the little issues you have like they are nothing. The evil will seize upon any gaps. Many practitioners have even passed away on account of little things; it really was due to something very minor. That’s because cultivation is something serious, and requires having no gaps. If for a long time you haven’t dealt with those things through cultivation, small as they may be, if you haven’t taken them seriously for a prolonged period of time, then it is a big issue. Many people have passed away on account of such things. The old forces wouldn’t venture to directly persecute Dafa disciples at present—none of the larger beings that assume a form would venture to do that. Then what sorts of things are doing that now? Things like worms, bugs, bacteria, and all kinds of foul things like that. Sending righteous thoughts is extremely effective in these cases! They are annihilated in large batches. But there are a lot of them, given how big this cosmos is; and the cosmos consists of many layers. So after you have wiped these things out, shortly after, before long, they might infiltrate again, and you need to eliminate them again. So you need to keep sending righteous thoughts like this, and persist with it for some time, before you will see obvious results. Don’t lose confidence just because, after feeling good following a while of sending righteous thoughts, things don’t seem to go well again. I can tell you that they are using this approach to wear you down—to whittle away at your strong sense of conviction. So you need to be alert to these things.”
As soon as I read this, I started studying Zhuan Falun and sending forth righteous thoughts intensively. I finished studying the book from cover to cover in three days, and I sent forth righteous thoughts after every lecture in addition to the four daily times. My bleeding lessened. I then studied the entire book again in two days, and the bleeding stopped.
When I was studying the Fa then, I tended to doze off and be distracted by other thoughts. Issues and tasks constantly popped up in my mind that I previously would have stopped to take care of. However, I was firm in my determination to study the Fa and ignored them. During the first three days, my mother-in-law, a practitioner, knocked on my door on two of the days. I then locked the door from the inside and answered for no one.
Through intensive Fa study, all my shortcomings and attachments were clearly exposed. In the past, I talked about looking within but never found anything. Once I began to study the Fa with my whole heart, I could see all my attachments.
I shared this experience of sickness karma with a few practitioners who had been sending forth righteous thoughts for me. I realized that, when I first asked them for help, I was looking outward. I came to understand that, even though they were sending righteous thoughts for me and eliminating the interference, my problem would not be solved fundamentally if I failed to look inside and improve myself.
Master said:
“Once you upgrade your xinxing, your body will undergo a great change. Upon xinxing improvement, the matter in your body is guaranteed to transform.” (Zhuan Falun)
I came to understand that, with steadfast belief in Master and the Fa, there is no test that one cannot pass.
I enlightened to one meaning of Master's Fa about Shen Gongbao and Jiang Ziya. I realized that Dafa disciples are like Jiang Ziya. We came with a great mission, but the old forces, like Shen Gongbao, are constantly causing troubles for us. This new understanding helped me to concentrate my righteous thoughts to eliminate the evil persecution even more powerfully.
I also came to understand the importance of Fa study through the story of pulling teeth. In my understanding, removing attachments through solid Fa study is like pulling teeth with a matchstick. However, the old forces' way is to remove the “root” of the attachment through torture and many hardships, just like the method of pulling teeth by using pliers, hammers, and drills as in Western medicine.
I have indeed enlightened to the importance of Fa study. I sincerely ask those practitioners who are “too busy to stop” to seize every minute to study the Fa more and to study the Fa well.
I'd like to share this quote of Master's for mutual encouragement:
“All of the 'three things' that I speak of are important. I hope that you will do even better on the last leg of your journey.” (“Fa Teaching at the 2015 West Coast Fa Conference”)
Category: Improving Oneself
