(Minghui.org) I am a young Falun Dafa practitioner who was born in the 1990s. I began my cultivation practice in 2013. I would like to share my personal story and experiences in overcoming attachments in cultivation.
Finding Falun Dafa
I was indoctrinated with atheism while growing up in China and didn’t believe in Gods or Buddha. Yet I had many questions as I was growing up, such as “Who am I? Where did we come from? Where will we go?” I looked for answers to these types of questions but couldn’t find any answers that satisfied my curiosity.
Eventually, my curiosity drove me to get the software needed to break through the internet blockade. In doing so I had the good fortune of finding the book, Zhuan Falun. It took me only a few days to read through it the first time. After my first reading, many of my questions and doubts about the divine were resolved, and I understood a lot about life, Gods, and Buddhas. I was very excited to learn what the book taught me, and I wanted to tell everyone that Falun Dafa is good.
My Body Was Cleansed
One day, seemingly out of the blue, I threw up everything I ate. Nothing would stay down. But the next day I totally recovered. I knew my body was being purified and my karma was being eliminated.
Another time, my head felt hot as though I had a fever. I went asleep while I listened to the Fa lecture recording. When I woke up, I was perfectly fine.
On another occasion, I had a sore throat and a hoarse voice. My family wanted me to take medicine, but I refused because I knew that my body was being purified again. A couple of days later the symptoms disappeared.
Dafa Can Benefit Anyone
Though my mother did not practice Falun Dafa, I often encouraged her to recite “Falun Dafa is good; Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good.” One night when she got a cold, she remembered the words I suggested, so she decided to give it a try. She was amazed that her cold symptoms disappeared that same night. Her experience boosted my confidence in Dafa cultivation.
Attachments and Tribulations
With continued Fa-study I soon realized that I should tell more people about Falun Dafa. To encourage people to take a look at the truth for themselves, I gave out copies of the software to break through the internet blockade. After gaining a better understanding and learning that Falun Dafa truly is good, some withdrew from the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) and its affiliated organizations, and some even began to cultivate in Dafa.
After seeing the positive results, however, I developed the attachment of zealotry and became self-absorbed and less considerate in my communication with others. One day, police officers knocked on the door of our home. When one of the officers asked me if I was a practitioner, I became flustered in my heart.
They took me to the police station and questioned me and had me fill out a form, but I didn’t say anything against Dafa.
They sent me to the detention center. As I clarified the truth to the detainees there, I found that many of them had a better understanding of the CCP’s wrongdoings than most people.
I talked to the detainees about Falun Dafa whenever I had the chance. Some of them understood the truth and renounced their ties to the CCP. Less than half a month later, I was released. But for my lack of righteous thoughts, I agreed to be released on bail.
Looking Inward
After I was released, I looked deeply inward. I gradually came to understand that I had encountered the tribulation because my understanding of the Fa was not up to par.
I had neglected to search for my hidden attachments and instead pursued a higher realm. But my behavior was anything but high. I came to see that I had a strong attachment to treating Dafa as a career. In an attempt to sound impressive, I made complicated sounding statements, which were, in reality, an attempt to cover up my shallow understandings. Though my heart was set on cultivation, I had not truly improved my character.
I had originally thought I would be always safe as long as I practiced cultivation.However, without cultivating my xinxing, I was not genuinely improving myself. Then how could I be viewed as a real cultivator and be protected by Master Li (the founder)?
Master said:
“‘Cultivation is up to you, gong is up to the master’—if you just have that wish you’re all set. When it comes to who’s actually doing it, it’s the master.”(Zhuan Falun)
For some time I could not understand this sentence. But later I understood that without Master Li, it is impossible to succeed in cultivation. Only he can purify our bodies and plant the seeds necessary to safeguard us in cultivation. When I finally enlightened to this, I found my previous understanding to be somewhat arrogant.
I also found my attachment of zealotry. I had a habit of talking non-stop when sharing with fellow practitioners. I couldn’t stop even if someone asked me to, and I felt uncomfortable when others pointed this out. I would argue with them or try to change the subject when my opinion was disagreed with. That was an attempt to avoid facing my problems. All these were manifestations of being overzealous and trying to validate me. Though it has taken some time and practice, I now think twice before I speak and try to go straight to the point.
Attachment to Lust
I had a strong attachment to lust before I practiced cultivation. I liked looking at glamour photos and pornography on the internet, and I would watch till late at night. This left me feeling exhausted and distressed that I couldn’t do better in this regard. Though I improved in many ways as a result of Fa-study, I found it extremely difficult to get rid of this attachment to lust.
One night, soon after I was released from the detention center, my attachment to lust suddenly reappeared. I took a glance at some of those images online. The next day, I got a call from the police station telling me to come in and answer some questions. I knew this was no coincidence. It was a strong reminder about just how serious a consequence it is for allowing the attachment to lust to remain. It is a test that all cultivators must pass.
I had been lax about getting rid of it and believed that it was normal, while in reality the modern mentality toward lust and sexuality are not normal and need to be eliminated by cultivators of Falun Dafa.
I now know that those desires are not the true me, but the result of demented notions formed in the morally declined society of everyday people. Now, if any thoughts related to lust appear in my mind, I remind myself that I am a practitioner, and I force them out. It was difficult to eliminate them at first, but through cultivation, my main consciousness has gotten stronger, while such low-level desires have weakened.
Attachment to Computer Games
Another serious addiction I had before I started practicing Dafa was computer games. For a period of time, I was so addicted that I didn’t want to do anything else, even though they made me feel sick.
After I started practicing I realized that playing computer games reinforced many attachments such as showing off, fighting, competition, envy, and zealotry. The rule in computer games is the “law of the jungle,” which goes against Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance.
I read a sharing article written by a fellow practitioner who used to enjoy playing computer games: One day he had a sore throat, and a fellow practitioner saw that there was a spirit crouching in his throat. This incurred as a result of his attachment. When I came to understand that computer games are seriously harmful, my mindset changed and the addiction was forgotten.
I have found that the more I study the Fa, the more profound and powerful I experience it to be.
I am grateful to Dafa for helping me to be free of atheism and to understand the true essence of life. I will be more diligent in fulfilling my vows and being a true Dafa practitioner.
