(Minghui.org) A fellow practitioner came to my home yesterday to discuss some things. However, our discussion really didn't go well at all, and he left upset. Sadly, this was not the first time that this has happened.
After he left, all sorts of negative thoughts began to pop up in my mind. Where was he when I was going through my tribulations? He didn't offer any support or help. Whenever I'd suggest something to him, he'd shoot it down right away. He never really followed through with doing the three things – he was just all talk.
These thoughts disturbed me so much that I couldn't even meditate.
We had a similar encounter before – that time, I felt that communicating with him was impossible. It was simply torturous and made me feel awful. I was hoping to resolve some past issues but ended up feeling worse. That time, I hoped that he would not come back again; I really did not want to see him again.
Master taught us:
“Without conflicts arising or opportunities to improve your xinxing, you cannot make progress. If everyone is nice to one another, how do you practice cultivation?” (Zhuan Falun)
When I got upset with this fellow practitioner, my spouse also came home furious – she did not have a good day either. I thought that this wasn't a mere coincidence; I probably had to look within to search for my own problem.
Once I settled down, I was able to find a number of attachments: combativeness, resentment, looking down on others, jealousy – I wanted to expose them and eliminate them.
When I looked within, I realized that this fellow practitioner did not come to frustrate me; instead, he came to help me improve. Even though I study the Fa and exercise daily, my behavior is not quite befitting of a cultivator.
I tried to look within, but I wasn't truly able to find my problem. Whenever a conflict surfaced, I was not able to measure myself with the Fa, but became stuck in the conflict and would either look outward or avoid it altogether.
Because of all this, Master was worried for me and so arranged for this fellow practitioner to remind me again. My enlightenment quality is so poor that it took me many tries to finally find my problem. Thank you, Master. Thank you, my fellow practitioner.
Master taught us:
“In genuine cultivation practice one must cultivate the heart: Only when you upgrade your xinxing can you attain a clear and clean mind, and a state free of intention (wuwei). Only when your xinxing is upgraded can you assimilate to the characteristic of the universe and remove different human desires, attachments, and other bad things.” (Zhuan Falun)
I have a new understanding regarding this Fa teaching now.
Category: Improving Oneself
