(Minghui.org) I used to fight with everyone. Practicing Falun Dafa has changed me completely. Over time, my husband changed, too.
I didn't know what it meant to take a step back before. I would fight whenever I was not happy with something. Fighting was just part of my normal life.
My parents were better off financially than my in-laws, so I looked down on anyone from my husband's family. I even considered divorce.
Everything changed in 1998.
A person visiting my husband and me said, “Falun Dafa is amazing. Its practitioners follow the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance and never beat or curse people. And they can cultivate to become a Buddha.”
My husband's eyes opened wide. “There is hope for my family,” he said to me. “You should learn it. Go quickly!” He even pushed me out the door.
So I went to a practice site. Practitioners there were reading Zhuan Falun. The more I listened, the broader my mind became. Negative thoughts that had been with me for decades were gone. I felt this was what I had been searching for.
After I became a Falun Dafa practitioner, I stopped fighting with others. Instead, I learned to be considerate. Over time, my husband changed, too.
When the Communist Party began its persecution of Falun Dafa, I went with several practitioners to the provincial capital to appeal for justice, but police stopped us on the way and took us back.
They summoned my husband. He opened the car door and kicked me. At home, he beat me.
I went to another practitioner's home, and we made it to the provincial government office the next day. Police took us back, and my husband beat me again.
Master Li Hongzhi, the founder of Falun Dafa, tells us that, as practitioners, we should not “fight back when you’re beaten or sworn at.” (Zhuan Falun)
Master also says,
“… when a person reaches the Arhat level, in his heart he is not concerned about anything. He does not care at all in his heart for any ordinary human matter, and he will always be smiling and in good spirits. No matter how much loss he suffers, he will still be smiling and in good spirits without any concern.” (Zhuan Falun)
No matter how my husband cursed and beat me, I didn’t fight back. I held on to one thought: “I only want to stay firm in Dafa. No one can change me.”
I went to Beijing to appeal for Falun Dafa that same year and was illegally detained. The local police came to my home frequently. Every time they came, my husband would beat me afterward. Sometimes he even started beating me while they were still in our home.
When I started distributing the materials to explain Falun Dafa to people, he was frightened and tried to stop me.
He once flew into a rage. “Will you still go out?” he asked.
“Definitely. I am doing the most righteous thing. No one can stop me!”
“Why can't you just let others do it?”
“It's my duty. If I don't do it, who will?”
I thought of Master's words:
“Forbearance (ren) is not cowardice, much less is it resigning oneself to adversity.” (“Beyond the Limits of Forbearance,” Essentials for Further Advancement II)
I felt that my powerful side awakened at that moment.
My husband became quiet. From then on, he stopped preventing me from doing things for Dafa. He just reminded me about safety.
When he heard that several local practitioners were arrested, he worried about me and hid Dafa materials in a safe place. He didn’t say a single word of criticism when I returned home.
We live in a row house and opened it as a store. We wanted to close the business in 2004 and sell the house. Our next-door neighbor asked for 5,000 yuan ($735 USD) or they wouldn’t agree for us to sell the house.
It was a strange request, but I reminded myself of Master's teaching:
“If something is yours, you will not lose it. If something is not yours, you will not have it even if you fight for it.” (Zhuan Falun)
One day, the neighbor came to my home to ask for the money again. My husband felt their request was ridiculous and asked me to argue with her.
Master's words came into my head:
“If you compete and fight like an ordinary person, you are an ordinary person. If you outdo him, you are even worse than that ordinary person.” (Zhuan Falun)
Instead of fighting, I just said, “I will give you the money.” She left.
My husband was furious. He picked up a shovel and threatened to beat me. I didn’t try to hide. I had a firm thought, “I have my Master. No one can do anything to me.”
He put down the shovel. “How come you’ve become so weak and useless?”
“Do you want me to go back to who I was?” I asked him.
He became silent.
“My Master said, 'We say that when you take a step back in a conflict, you will find the seas and the skies boundless, and it will certainly be a different situation.' (Zhuan Falun) If we fight them over this money, who knows what else will happen? Think of it as using this money to buy peace.”
My husband agreed. It was hard for a non-practitioner. That money was not a small amount in our area. We sold our house for 42,000 yuan. It was all because of Master's teachings that we were able to do it.
While I was away from home for a while, my husband had an affair with a neighbor. When I returned home, I found a love letter in his pocket. I asked him for an explanation.
Seeing I was calm and had no signs of anger, he was surprised. He couldn’t say a word.
“Don't be scared,” I said. “I am no longer the previous fighting wife you had. I am a Dafa practitioner. Dafa taught me how to be a good person. My Master told us to 'consider others first when taking any action.' (Zhuan Falun) Bring her here. Let's talk it through.”
He called the lady. I told my husband that I was willing to divorce him if he did not want to live with me anymore. However, he didn’t want to leave me at all. The lady was moved and cried loudly. I was afraid that other people might hear it and talk badly about her, so I asked her to stop crying and keep it quiet.
“I'm a cultivator,” I told her, “I won't hate you. Let's move on as if nothing has happened. Please remember 'Falun Dafa is good!'”
She was very appreciative.
Master said,
“But normally when a problem arises, if it does not irritate you psychologically, it does not count or is useless and cannot make you improve. So he can’t get over it and it bothers him.” (Zhuan Falun)
Though I handled it calmly, this incident was hard for me to overcome in my heart. I kept reminding myself with Master's words,
“Unless you, yourself do not want to do so, you can make it, provided you want to overcome them.” (Zhuan Falun)
I said to Master's picture: “Master, I will overcome this tribulation. Please let me cry once. Then I won't cry about it anymore.”
I cried sadly. Afterward, I become calm and got over it.
Since the affair, my husband has held a positive view of Dafa. When the authorities detained me during the 2002 Chinese New Year, he went to the mayor's home and said, “If you don't let my wife come home and let me have a good new year, I will not let you have a good one either.”
The mayor personally bailed me out. The police forced us to pay 1,000 yuan as a guarantee and said I would be detained again if I went to Beijing within a year to petition the government for the right to practice Dafa.
When my husband asked for the money a year later, the police refused to return it.
“I will have her borrow money to go to Beijing to sue you,” my husband said to them.
He called the mayor, who promised to get the money for us. The police returned it in no time.
My husband had a fierce fight over an incident involving his relatives. One opponent took out a knife. My husband grabbed the blade with his bare hand. Though the knife eventually fell on the ground, his hand was cut badly. The tendon and flesh on his fingers had all been cut, and the bones were visible. He couldn’t move his fingers. Doctors said he needed a skin graft or his hand would be disabled.
I told him to ask for Master's help. “Repeat 'Falun Dafa is good. Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good.'”
He did so in the detention center. He also talked about Falun Dafa with the detainees. One day while he was chanting “Falun Dafa is good,” he tried to stretch his fingers. “Look!” he exclaimed, “I can stretch my fingers. My hand is good now. Dafa’s Master helped me!”
His hand returned to normal, something modern medicine can't explain.
Now he tells people about Falun Dafa anytime, anywhere. When our village held an election, he said to the Communist Party Secretary in front of several police officers, “None of your corrupt officials are as good as Falun Dafa practitioners. Falun Dafa is good!”
He had cervical hyperplasia in 2016. I suggested that he practice Falun Dafa, and he agreed. He happily jumped up and down like a kid. “I know Falun Dafa is good. I am practicing Falun Dafa,” he said.
His cervical hyperplasia disappeared. Our daughter took him for a medical exam. Doctors told him that he had tuberculosis before but it had been cured. He was not aware of it.
Dafa has changed me completely. Sometimes even I am shocked that I no longer get angry or have a bad temper.
We took my mother-in-law to live with us in her final years. She listened to the Dafa lecture recordings and did the exercises.
My sister-in-law used to be so afraid of me that she did not dare to make any noise in front of me. Now she takes my home as hers. When I asked how she felt about Dafa, she said wholeheartedly, “Very good!”
My relatives said, “Dafa is a miracle! It has changed you into such a good person.”
I enjoy a happy family now. It is as Master says,
“The Buddha-light illuminates everywhere and harmonizes everything.” (Zhuan Falun)