(Minghui.org) I'm 68 years old and started practicing Falun Dafa in 1998. I made it through twenty years of storms and troubles.
I have always wanted to memorize Zhuan Falun but always stopped at page 18.
Master said,
“Things that haven’t been done well are negative lessons.” (“Teaching the Fa in Washington D.C. in 2018,” Team Blue Translation)
Master has removed a lot of bad things from me and helped me improve step by step. Regarding what Master said about “going against the tide” (“Teaching the Fa in Washington D.C. In 2018,” Team Blue Translation), my understanding is that when it comes to the old forces' interference, the communist specter's pressure, as well as our own notions, we need to “go against such tides.”
I knew that memorizing the Fa was much different from reading Zhuan Falun–it would require more attention and dedication. I realized that Master wanted me to “go against the tide” and memorize the Fa.
I had a dream in which I saw that the character “玉 (Jade)” was missing the dot or horizontal stroke in the middle. When I added the missing stroke to the character, it became larger than it should be.
After I woke up, I understood that Master was trying to tell me a few things. Without the horizontal stroke in the middle, there would be no “王 (King)”; without the horizontal stroke in the middle there would be no “玉 (Jade)”; and without persistence (a homonym for the horizontal stroke in the middle) nothing could be achieved.
I also understood that the missing stroke in the center of the character “玉 (Jade)” meant heart. As a practitioner, one should have a heart as clear as jade, but I painted the dot so big, indicating I had too much going on in my heart. No wonder I couldn't calm down to memorize the Fa.
At that moment, I summoned all my resolve to memorize the Fa.
I said in my heart: To the old forces and the negative substances that tried to stop me from memorizing the Fa, I will go against the tide, and I will do it! You want me to stay in bed longer, but I will go against the tide and get up to memorize the Fa! You want my heart not to be clean, but I will go against the tide, send forth righteous thoughts to eliminate all interference, and calm down to memorize the Fa!
I went sentence by sentence to memorize the Fa, and I made sure I understood the Fa principles in each sentence. I found I could memorize each sentence as soon as I understood its principles.
When I came to these sentences on page six, Master said,
“Because in the course of In-Triple-World-Fa cultivation practice one’s body will be constantly purified, it will be completely replaced by the high-energy matter when one reaches the highest form of In-Triple-World-Fa. The cultivation practice in Beyond-Triple-World-Fa is basically cultivation of a Buddha-body.” (Lecture One, Zhuan Falun)
I suddenly realized that I was no longer an everyday person and no longer within the Three Realms. I was a divine being who had entered Beyond-Triple-World-Fa cultivation. I felt wonderful from the depth of my heart. Regardless of whether I was walking, sitting in meditation, or doing the three things, my body was filled with a sense of wonderfulness.
Master said,
“Cultivation depends on one’s own efforts, while the transformation of gong is done by one’s master.” (Lecture One, Zhuan Falun)
Now, as soon as I finish sending forth righteous thoughts at 6:10 every morning, I continue sitting in the lotus position to memorize the Fa. I cleanse my heart and take my time without pursuing speed. I make sure to understand the principles of every sentence. It feels wonderful and magnificent to melt into the Fa.
Having been influenced for decades by the indoctrination of the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) and its philosophy of struggle, I had become so stubborn that I never took anyone's advice. I would not even listen to fellow practitioners if I found what they said offensive. At home, my tone to my husband and son was harsh, and we often ended up having arguments.
Master said,
“When Dafa disciples make mistakes, they do not like to be criticized. No one can criticize them, and when someone does, it sets them off. When they are right, they don't like others bringing up things they could improve on; when they are wrong, they don't want to be criticized. They get upset as soon as others criticize. The problem is becoming pretty bad.” (“Teaching the Fa in the City of Los Angeles”)
I was that kind of person Master described. If my husband criticized me when I was making dinner, I would fight immediately and thought, “I won't make dinner next time. You should do it since you know how to do it so well!” If my son failed to do things to my liking, I would yell at him.
I realized that my strong attachment to self and my being obstinate was also a result of the indoctrination with the CCP's ideology of struggle, and I must remove them.
Master said,
“If you do not change the human logic that you, as an ordinary human, have formed deep in your bones over thousands of years, you will be unable to break away from this superficial human shell and reach Consummation.” (“Cautionary Advice,” Falun Dafa Essentials for Further Advancement)
I realized that if I couldn't remove my stubborn attachment to self from the root, it would be very difficult for me to remove the attachment to jealousy and zealotry because they are interrelated.
Cultivation is cultivating my heart. According to ordinary principles in human society, if I were misunderstood, I would want to explain myself. But now, I will go against the tide and not explain myself, and my heart is calm.
According to human principles, if I heard negative comments about me, I would be ready to fight. But now, I will go against the tide and not fight. As a result, everything goes very smoothly.
According to human principles, if I were treated unfairly, I would get angry. But now, I go against the tide and do not get upset. Indeed, when I take a step back in a conflict, I find the seas and the skies boundless.
My decades-long obstinacy did not conform to Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. Master has given his utmost care to all lives. I examined my conscience and asked myself, “If you cannot conform to Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance, are you worthy of being Master's disciple?”
The Party objects to Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. I must go against the tide to follow Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance and become a good person. I will behave like a practitioner and develop goodness and compassion.
Master said,
“If you are without the Goodness (Shan) that a Dafa disciple has, then you are not a cultivator.” (“On 'The Dignity of Dafa',” Essentials for Further Advancement II)
Recently, when my husband made negative comments about how I was doing the housework, I responded, “It's my bad. I'll change.” This was the first time in decades that I was non-confrontational and admitted fault. As soon as I looked inside myself and let go of those attachments, my husband's attitude changed. Everything was targeting my heart.
Think about it: it's not easy to be a family member of a Dafa disciple. We cultivators have prehistoric vows with Master, and we suffer and cultivate to reach Consummation. But our families have to withstand all the pressure from various fronts to stay with us. It is truly remarkable of them. I salute all the families of Dafa disciples–we thank you!
From now on, I will study the Fa more and memorize the Fa more to gain clearer understandings of the Fa principles, treat others with compassion, do the three things well, and strive forward vigorously.