(Minghui.org) Greetings, esteemed Master and fellow practitioners!
I am a college student who came to the United States three years ago. My parents are Falun Dafa practitioners who taught me this cultivation practice at a very young age.
I studied Zhuan Falun from the time I was very young with my parents and did the five Falun Dafa exercises. Back then, I did not have many attachments and did whatever my parents asked me to do. I read the Fa and did the exercises every day. I read Minghui and Zhengjian website articles every week. Occasionally I would distribute Dafa truth clarification materials.
I seemed to be diligent in cultivation. In fact, I did not understand what cultivation meant, or why I cultivated. In middle school, I spent more time in school, and more time hanging out with my non-practitioner friends. Gradually, I became reluctant to read the Fa and do the exercises.
My mother, my uncle, and I came to the United States in 2012 to attend the 4th Washington DC International Music Festival. With the help of fellow practitioners in New Jersey, we were fortunate to attend the DC Fa Conference in July 2012. However, since we had just arrived in the United States from China, we were assigned to the secondary conference hall and could not see Master in person.
The day before the Fa Conference, fellow practitioners told us that we were assigned to the main conference hall. When we arrived at the main conference hall, we were told that we had to attend the conference in the secondary location, and it took us 30 minutes to get there by taxi.
In addition to the disappointment of not seeing Master, I had a lot of complaints about other practitioners in my heart. I did not even listen to Master carefully. Even though I had come to the United States and attended the Fa conference, my attitude did not change after returning to China and was even worse to some extent.
In high school, my parents bought me a smartphone, so I could go online at any time. It was very convenient, but it was much easier for me to be deluded by fame, fortune, and sentimentality. I behaved increasingly like ordinary people.
I registered for the NTD television young pianist competition in New York in 2013. Two days before leaving for the US, people broke into our house and arrested my mother. My mother was detained for more than two months, leaving me alone at home. I became worse and indulged myself in video games. I could stay up until four or five a.m., or the entire night, to play video games. Besides video games, I was addicted to online novels.
I also fell in love with a classmate. Although we did not do anything bad, what we did already deviated from the standard of cultivators. I was our teacher’s assistant and could enter and leave the teacher's office at any time. I stole the homework answers and shared them with the entire class. I did not feel ashamed of stealing the answers--I was was proud of it.
After my mother was released, she insisted that I should study abroad. She signed me up for the TOEFL and SAT tests. I passed them and left for the United States in 2015. My mother came with me and contacted local Dafa practitioners. They did the exercises at my school every Sunday morning. Because of fear and laziness, I tried my best to skip the Sunday morning group exercises. If I could not skip it, I would be an hour late, in order to wait for other practitioners to finish the fifth exercise.
Then, I was assigned to the secondary conference meeting hall again when attending the 2015 West Coast Fa Conference in Los Angeles. During the conference, there was a problem with the projector and I could not hear Master clearly at the beginning. Once again, I complained about fellow practitioners’ bad organizational skills and the poor condition of the conference room in my heart.
Back then, I held a question in my heart, “An ordinary person can be saved immediately after they quit the Chinese Communist Party (CCP). They will be blessed by Dafa and be able to enter the new universe. Why do Dafa practitioners need to do the three things? If I were an ordinary person, I would quit the CCP. Then, I would not need to do anything but could still be blessed by Dafa.”
Because of this notion, I always thought that my cultivation was forced on me by my parents, and not something I did out of my own will. I did not regard being a Dafa disciple as an honor but a burden.
I attended the New York Fa Conference in May 2016, and for the first time in my life saw Master in person. My body was shaking, because I was so excited. While Master was talking, I felt extremely calm and peaceful and Master’s teaching awakened me.
On the evening after the Fa Conference, I studied the Fa with my mother. Suddenly, I saw Satan. I was unable to get this image out of my mind, felt great fear, and kept thinking “Master, please help me!” I felt that I lacked the power to get rid of the Satan image.
Then, I saw a great flood destroying everything. After the flood, a golden Zhuan Falun floated in the sky. The whole world was lifeless. I felt the world I saw was my own world. My own world had no sentient beings. Then, I felt very calm. I felt all my attachments were gone. Nothing could bother me anymore.
There was another little me jumping around in my mind, who tried to remind me of my classes, my romantic relationship, and my future plans. Those three things I used to consider extremely important. Now, I felt great compassion and no attachment could move my heart any longer. The little me who thought of different attachments was not worth my attention. I felt an unparalleled solemn sense of peace in my heart, as if I were a divine being in charge of heaven and earth.
While in this state, it took my mother great effort to wake me up. She said while I was reading the Fa, I suddenly burst into tears. Although only a few seconds had passed, she felt my primordial spirits had left my body. I was very surprised. Only a few seconds had passed? I felt it had been as long as a century.
I was enlightened that because I had not truly considered myself as a cultivator, my own world was empty and had no sentient beings. But Master was compassionate and did not give up on me. Master showed me how a righteous divine being should feel. The heart should be filled with benevolent compassion. Such feeling was different from emotions, which were bitter and had a bad taste, while compassion was free of intention and wonderful. After a while, I realized that I still held some attachments, but I could never forget the feelings of no attachments, even though it only lasted for several seconds. This will motivate me to cultivate diligently.
As I had made up my mind to cultivate diligently, I spent about two months studying Master’s teachings. After I finished all the books, I understood why I had been previously confused. It seemed that I had never read any Dafa book in the past 18 years. I started to memorize Zhuan Falun in May 2016 and had memorized the entire book by July 2017. I started to memorize Zhuan Falun again in March 2018, and have not yet memorized the entire book. By studying and memorizing the Fa, I finally understand its profoundness. I finally feel the happiness and excitement when I am enlightened and my level is elevated.
I lived in Flushing, New York during the summer of 2016. I participated in the group exercises at Queens Botanical Garden daily. Although I have started cultivation since childhood, I could only double cross my legs for about 40 minutes, even if I sat on a very soft bed.
The group exercise started with sending righteous thoughts at 5:55 a.m., followed by an hour of sitting meditation, and another hour of standing exercises. Plus the time of sending righteous thoughts, I needed to sit on the concrete ground for a total of 1 hour and 15 minutes with double legs crossed. I was unable to do double cross for that long. Whenever I meditated, I frequently switched between the full lotus and half lotus positions. I tried all ordinary people’s methods to relieve the pain.
After fellow practitioners completed the sitting meditation, they could stand up immediately to do the standing exercises. But, I had to sit on the ground for more than 10 minutes, before I could get up.
I later realized that the notion of being unable to double cross my legs for more than 40 minutes was a human notion, which I needed to get rid of. I therefore set a goal for myself, increasing the time of my legs correctly by 5 minutes every day. I did it for 40 minutes on my first day. Then I tried 45 minutes on my second day, and 50 minutes on the third. However, it was not easy. I kept reciting Master's Fa, “When it’s difficult to endure, you can endure it. When it’s impossible to do, you can do it”. (Zhuan Falun) I bit my teeth hard to endure the pain in my legs. It took me about a month to do the meditation for an hour in the full lotus position.
In addition to studying the Fa and doing the exercises, I also clarified the truth at tourist sites. I was assigned to the United Nation Plaza in New York. I had never told the truth to anyone except a good friend in elementary school before 2016. When facing Chinese tourists, I did not even know how to start a conversation.
I followed a fellow practitioner on my first day to watch how she went about talking to tourists. Gradually I dared to talk to Chinese tourists after getting rid of my fear. Some people took the truth-clarification brochures, but some people did not. I gradually figured out my own method of how to talk to Chinese tourists. I normally carried several truth clarification brochures with me and asked if the Chinese tourists needed help with photo-taking. Sometimes I initiated a quick chat with them. Sometimes I asked if they knew what quitting the CCP means. If the tourist responded, I would tell them some basic truths about Dafa. Some tourists were willing to listen, while others swore at me when they heard the word Falun Dafa.
There was one incidence that impressed me. A middle-aged Chinese tourist leaned on a tree and looked at the United Nations. I began to tell him about the Tiananmen Self-immolation incident. After hearing the words "Falun Dafa," the tourist glanced at me but did not say anything. I thought his reaction was a good sign, and I was very excited. I thought I was able to make him quit the CCP, so I kept talking about Dafa. He listened to me quietly without saying anything.
When I was about to ask if he agreed to quit the CCP, his friends came. When they heard me talking about Falun Dafa, they started laughing and pushed the man, “Why do you listen to her?” And then, they gathered around me and started yelling at me. The middle-aged man said, “I did not want to listen to her. She just kept talking.” Some of them noticed that I was very young. They asked, “How much did Falun Dafa give you to talk about that practice?” I told them that I volunteered, but they did not believe me.
Then, one person asked me if I was a US citizen and my social class. Some of the elderly among them told me to stop distributing brochures about Falun Dafa. Some people said rude and insulting words. I was surrounded by about eight people who kept cursing. Initially I was thinking of sending righteous thoughts. Later all my human notions emerged. I felt very wronged. I looked around and no fellow practitioner came to help me. I felt very upset and started to complain about other practitioners in my heart. And then I thought, "If you do not listen, I will simply stop saving you. Why do I have to bear all the curses?"
These people kept yelling. Without righteous thoughts, different human notions filled my mind. I just stood there and listened to different bad words passively. After a while, their tour guide came to get them. After those people left, another practitioner came and asked me if I was okay. He told me that he did not come over to help, but sent righteous thoughts.
This practitioner noticed another person standing near the tree. The other practitioner walked over to that guy and said, “See, she is just a little girl and was cursed at by a group of Chinese tourists. Would you be willing to do such a job even if you were paid well? We all volunteer here to tell the truth.” The guy immediately took the truth-clarification brochure, which made me think that being cursed at was worthwhile.
After returning home, I reflected on the whole incident. I found that when telling the truth, I was too obsessed with myself. I didn't care about other people’s thoughts. I tried to tell the tourist whatever I knew. Even when ordinary people persuade others, they were careful to not let information overload others.
As a Dafa disciple, I was doing the most righteous thing. Why was I so impetuous? After looking within, I found my mentality of showing off – I hoped to make the tourist quit the CCP, so I could show off my ability to fellow practitioners. Competitive mentality – when surrounded and cursed by the group of people, I was upset that fellow practitioners did not come to help. Attachment of zealotry – when the tourist did not say no to me initially, I was particularly excited and felt there was a great possibility that he would quit the CCP. With so many attachments, how could I have saved him?
From then on, I began to pay attention to each notion and adjust every thought. If I was not acting right, my words would have no power and could not save people. I should not fear how harsh tourists were. How could a divine being be moved by an ordinary person’s words?
Practitioners who persistently clarify the truth at tourist sites are really working hard. They possess boundless virtue!
Master said, “Dafa disciples, although Master spoke a little sternly, it was to lift up your spirits, because you are the hope for humanity! The hope for sentient beings! You are also Master's hope!” (“Fa Teaching at the 2016 New York Fa Conference”)
There is a Dafa student organization at our school, and I am the president. Our group is the one and only one that is clarifying the truth on campus. We are three practitioners, and four people joined our student organization and are learning Dafa. As the president, I need to organize club activities.
During the Mid-Autumn Festival, I make mooncakes with everyone. On Chinese New Year, I organize our group members to make dumplings. The purpose of such activities is to celebrate traditional Chinese festivals and to bring more students into our club. However, because our student group does not have a lot of members, I plan and prepare everything, including providing the materials and invitations, which takes some time.
Last semester, I took five very difficult major classes and one elective. Since February, I had exams almost every week. Sometimes I could have three, four, or even five exams in the same week. Besides a heavy academic workload, I also had two part-time jobs on campus. I also needed to dine out with my ordinary friends to maintain our friendship. Moreover, since last fall, I started to make subtitles and edit videos for NTD television.
There is so much I am involved in and I am exhausted at times. While at the Washington DC Fa conference I talked to a local practitioner. She said something that deeply impressed me, “Yes, all practitioners are busy. If you are not busy, you are not a diligent Dafa practitioner.”
Practitioners shoulder multiple Dafa projects and are very, very busy. Sometimes they do not even have time to eat or sleep. Even though I am busy, I am busy mostly with my own things, such as my school, social activities, and some trivial life tasks. What am I complaining about? Is complaining about being busy also a selfish attachment?
Cultivators who melt into the Fa will experience the power of Dafa. I often hear young Dafa practitioners say, “I will finish my academic project first and do the Dafa project later,” or “I have an exam this week. Let me do the Dafa project after my exam.” These words appear to be reasonable. However, aren't they basically the same thing as practicing cultivation after retirement?
From my perspective, when you feel busy, you should not feel depressed and stressed. Instead, you should feel that this is a normal life for a diligent Dafa practitioner.
Practitioners in China are still suffering from the severe persecution. As young Dafa practitioners, we possess technical skills that almost every Dafa project needs. What reasons do we have to avoid our responsibilities?
When you claim that you are busy, do you really not waste any time? Do you use every available minute to clarify the truth of Dafa? Dafa practitioners are assisted by divine beings. We may appear to be busy on the surface. Can the seemingly heavy workload also be a test for your heart? Will you do less Dafa projects because you are busy with your school? Or will you firmly believe in Master and the Fa? I found that no matter how busy I am, I can always finish all tasks assigned to me. I feel that I am like an infinite container. It all boils down to how firmly I believe in the Fa, and how many tasks can be done by me.
I want to share my experience with all young Dafa practitioners. As long as you believe in the Fa, you can do everything. The power of the Fa is infinite. Don't use being busy as an excuse for not participating in truth-clarification activities.
I met some parents of young Dafa practitioners. When young Dafa practitioners did not participate in Dafa truth-clarification activities, their parents explained on their children’s behalf that their children were busy with studying.
What I want to suggest is that, as a parent, please let go of all your human attachments. As long as you are not overly attached to your children, your children have the ability to do everything.
(Presented at the 2018 Mid-US Fa Conference)