(Minghui.org) I developed insomnia when I was about ten years old, and also suffered from many other illnesses over the years. My health was so poor that I lost the desire to live, and wondered why the divine beings created human beings who suffered from so many illnesses.
Not long after I started to practice Falun Dafa, I recovered from all my illnesses, except the insomnia. After looking inward I realized that my mind was thinking around the clock, but I didn’t know why. As I continued to study the Fa, I read these words from Master:
“Now, can an ordinary person just still his mind at the thought of it? Not at all, unless maybe he’s somebody with a great base. So what this means, then, is that the real reason somebody can’t become still inside doesn’t have to do with technique, and it’s not because there’s some kind of signature move. Instead, it’s because your thinking, or your mind, isn’t pure. When you’re in the ordinary world, there are clashes between people, you fight tooth and nail with other people to benefit yourself, or over your emotions and desires, and over all those passions you’re attached to, you can’t seem to let go of those things, and you can’t seem to take them lightly—then if you want to become still, good luck! Some people who do qigong will come right back, "I don’t buy that. Watch, I’ll just still my mind, and I won’t have wild thoughts." But just moments after they finish saying that those thoughts pop right back up again. It’s your mind that’s not pure, and that’s why you can’t become still.” (Zhuan Falun, 2003 version)
I believe that insomnia is not an illness, per se, and I needed to find why I could not keep my mind clean. I understood that only if I continued to improve on my cultivation path and reach a higher level could the problem be solved.
Master said,
“A notion, once formed, will control you for the duration of your life, influencing your thinking and even the full gamut of emotions, such as your happiness, anger, sorrow, and joy. It is formed postnatally. If this thing persists for some time, it will become part of a person’s thinking, melding into the brain of that person’s true self, at which point it will shape his temperament.
The notions that are developed will obstruct and control a person for the remainder of his life. A human notion is usually selfish—or worse—and thus generates thought karma which, in turn, controls the person. A human being is to be governed by his master soul (zhu yuan-shen). When your master soul becomes lax and is replaced by notions, you have unconditionally surrendered, and your life is now under their control.” (“Buddha Nature” from Zhuan Falun (Volume II))
After reading Master's Fa, I finally understood that insomnia was not an illness, but resulted from an “unclean mind.” My mind was controlling my notions, attachments, and thought-karma, and I enlightened that to cure my insomnia, I must get rid of my attachments and improve my xinxing.
After I gradually let go of attachments my mind became calmer, and the insomnia no longer bothered me. After decades, I finally experienced how wonderful deep sleep is.
