(Minghui.org) I am a practitioner from the city of Puebla, Mexico, and I began practicing Falun Dafa in September 2012. I have been working in administration at a university for 13 years.
Eliminating Old Resentments
In 2004 I had a boss who used to treat me very badly. He often humiliated me in front of other people, cursed me, and generally made my life impossible. No matter how hard I tried at work, he was never satisfied. Sometimes he asked me for money and never paid me back; besides, I always had to have cigarettes for him and bought them with my own money. The situation worsened, so I was forced to quit my job, even though my financial situation was not good. But I knew that if I continued there I would end up seriously ill.
Two months after I resigned, there was an opportunity to work at the college in a different department, so I decided to accept. Even though I had a new job, I held a grudge against my previous boss, I felt that he had been unfair to me and that he had hurt me a lot without deserving it.
When I started studying Zhuan Falun in 2012, I found many answers. I was able to enlighten and understand about the payment of karmic debts.
Master said,
“In cultivation, there may be two scenarios when dealing with specific conflicts or when others treat you badly. One is that you might have treated this person badly in your previous life. You feel in your heart that it is unfair, “How can this person treat me like this?”” (Zhuan Falun)
In July 2017, my former boss came to my office for a personal interview. When he entered, he approached other people, asking with whom he should carry out this procedure, and they channeled him to me. He came over, seemed nervous to see me, greeted me, and asked me if I could help him. I said I could. When I was near him, my heart was racing, but I was enlightened by Master's words and I knew it was a test for me to rise up and see if my old resentments were there, because today, not as in the past, I was a Dafa practitioner and had to behave on another level.
I was kind to him and helped him, because he didn't have all the required documentation. I could look him in the eye without feeling hatred or resentment. On the contrary, I sensed a good feeling emerge. I cannot describe it in words, but I am sure it was compassion. When he left, I felt so relieved—the debt had been paid. Dafa is extraordinary, it really has no limits, and was able to transform my heart.
Master said,
“Compassion comes from a person's cultivation, and it's not something that's acted out; it comes from deep inside, and it's not something done to show others. It's something that exists eternally, and it doesn't change with the passage of time or changes in circumstances.” (“Teaching the Fa at the 2003 Washington DC Fa Conference” from Teaching the Fa at the Conference IV)
Facing the Same Attachments Again
I have a sister who often had problems in her marriage and eventually divorced. She always used to look for my mother, my brothers and sisters, or me when she needed help to resolve her conflicts. She didn't listen to advice, she just wanted us to help her. This went on for years, so I was upset and, without realizing it, I started to resent her because I thought she wasn't being considerate of us. I supported her because I believed it was my moral duty, but I was not compassionate or tolerant towards her.
One day, my sister came to my house on the verge of a nervous breakdown, once again in need of help. She had nowhere else to go, so she stayed with me. At first I was tolerant, but as the days went by, I felt uncomfortable with her presence and the situation became tense. I forgot to look inside and acted like an ordinary person. I felt that she was disturbing my peace of mind and that she was bringing her problems home again.
My mother, who is also a practitioner, spoke to me and asked me to be merciful. I expressed my attachment to resentment and jealousy and decided that I should talk to my sister as soon as possible. Later I tried to get close to her, but she was furious and wouldn't see me or talk to me, so she decided to leave the house.
I was heartbroken. Not only had I not passed the test, I had behaved like a bad person. Over the next few days I couldn't sleep or study the Fa with a calm heart, and I began to have diarrhea, vomiting, and severe headaches.
Master said,
“Under all circumstances, we must be good and kind to others, not to mention to our family members. We should treat everyone in the same way. We must be good to our parents and children and be considerate of others in all respects. Such a heart is thus unselfish, and it is a heart of kindness and benevolence—it is compassion.” (Zhuan Falun)
Days passed and I wanted to talk to my sister to apologize, but she refused to see me and didn't want to know anything about me. About three months later, my sister came to my house early in the morning. She seemed very ill, just like she did on that other occasion, but this time my main consciousness was alert. The next day, I was finally able to hug her and apologize. The resentment had disappeared, I only felt love, compassion, and sincere gratitude towards her for allowing me to see my attachments and for helping me to eliminate that harmful substance that is not part of me.
I hope that what I am sharing today, from my limited level, will be useful for other practitioners. I still have many attachments and I feel ashamed because I have failed Master on many occasions. But I know that the Dafa teachings have become a part of me and I am determined to continue to move forward with the help of Master and all of you who have the courage and will to share your experiences in cultivation.
I wish you all success in your cultivation and ask you to let me know if anything I have said is incorrect.
Category: Improving Oneself
