(Minghui.org) I worked eight hours a day in a company during the first year after immigrating to Australia. The work was hard, and it was not easy to make my boss happy. After work, I had to do shopping and cooking. I sometimes didn’t have time to study the Fa, do the exercises, and clarify the truth about Dafa during weekdays. I was involved in Dafa activities during the weekends. I became anxious about being trapped in making a living overseas.
I gradually became content and slacked off in my cultivation. I followed the routine every day and sometimes became bored. I was not diligent.
I didn't treasure the time as Master said:
“This instant is precious beyond measure.” (Teaching the Fa in the City of Chicago)
I sometimes wasted precious time and watched movies and World Football Cup on the Internet, and I missed opportunities to improve my skills at work.
Master said:
“Therefore, in cultivation practice you should follow a higher and higher standard for yourself.” (Zhuan Falun)
I should have constantly improved myself and improved my skills.
I complained a lot in my heart when I saw the shortcomings of practitioners working in media and the imperfections of the media structure. Although I didn't show my dissatisfaction by using improper words or behavior, I complained a lot privately. I now realize that complaining was of little use, formed separations among the practitioners, and produced blackish substances in other dimensions.
Master said:
“For example, there are conflicts among one another, such as ‘you’re good, but he isn’t good,’ or ‘your cultivation is good, but his isn’t.’ These are conflicts themselves. Let us talk about something that is common, such as ‘I want to do this or that,’ or ‘this matter should now be done this way or that way.’ Perhaps it will unintentionally hurt someone. Because interpersonal conflicts are all very complex, one may unintentionally produce karma.” (Zhuan Falun)
I was attached to other practitioners' attachments. When I saw that some practitioners were not considerate of other people, I wondered why they behaved that way, even though they studied the Fa every day. When I saw some losing their tempers, I pondered why they didn't change even though they studied the Fa every day. I sometimes even preferred staying with well-behaved ordinary people over being with practitioners. I was not in the Fa, became relaxed, and slacked off in studying the Fa.
Over time, I got used to studying the Fa very little every day. My cultivation state worsened, yet I was not aware of it. I still thought I was cultivating well and was better than some of the practitioners who studied the Fa every day. I was in this state for a long time, until one day I enlightened to what true cultivation is.
Master said:
“The master takes you through the entrance, and it is up to you to practice cultivation.” (Zhuan Falun)
I should not worry about practitioners' shortcomings and measure them with the Fa standards or form a kind of notion against them. They were showing their bad sides that had yet to be cultivated, while their good sides which had completed cultivation were no longer displayed, so I couldn't see. When I saw their shortcomings, did it mean that Master was letting me see them to help me realize that I had the same shortcomings?
Master said:
“I have said that Master has compressed everything into the Fa.” (Fa Teaching at the 2007 New York Fa Conference)
I recently started to read one lecture of Zhuan Falun each day. I felt like I was personally listening to Master lecturing in the auditorium, and his law body was adjusting my body while he was talking. The part of my body that corresponded to the lecture I was reading would be worked on.
When Master talked about attachments, such as showing off, zealotry, and jealousy, he would remove the black substance that formed those attachments. When he talked about guanding and Tianmu, he did guanding for us and opened up Tianmu and planted the cultivation mechanism for us.
Master did different things for us at different levels and showed different Fa principles to us at different levels. To read Zhuan Falun seriously or not is a matter that decides whether we can complete cultivation. That's why Master repeatedly reminds us about the importance of studying the Fa, and to keep studying the Fa no matter how busy we are.
If I didn't study the Fa with my whole heart, my human attachments of competitiveness, showing off, pursuit of fame and interests, and lust and desire would infiltrate my body.
Master said:
“When a person himself doesn't have righteous thoughts, all the bad things in the cosmos, or in the Three Realms, will flow around continually in the human body, and even when they stay there the person doesn't realize it. That's how people are manipulated; in other words, they manipulate people when these particles are able to connect with each other.” (“Fa-Lecture at the Conference in Florida, U.S.A.” from Teaching the Fa at the Conference II)
I have to drive long hours when distributing the newspapers. Was all my thinking during that time my own? When I didn't listen to the Fa recordings, I clearly realized that it was not something from myself. Then, who initiated these things? Was it my subconsciousness, notions, thought karma, or beings in another dimension? It is crucial for a practitioner to cultivate every thought. If I didn't hold righteous thoughts, notions and thought karma would occupy my mind. If I followed the unrighteous thoughts that the evil injected into my mind, wasn't I being controlled by the evil thoughts?
If we pay little attention to cultivating ourselves, we are merely doing a job. It was so easy to neglect doing exercises and studying the Fa. Our minds become impure, and the evil then interferes. All interference comes from lack of Fa study or doing the exercises. I had omissions in cultivation.
Master said:
“If a person is completely in the Fa no one can touch him.” (Teaching the Fa in San Francisco, 2005)
I knew I had to cultivate my every thought but I didn't put it into practice. Other practitioners had done so long before me. I was lagging far behind.
Many practitioners have put all their time and effort into cultivating themselves well. They don't waste time on ordinary people's entertainment or other human activities. I shall speed up and catch up with them. I hope practitioners will learn a lesson from my experience and pay attention to Fa study and cultivating themselves so as to avoid any detours in cultivation.