(Minghui.org) Although I am a diligent practitioner, I still have moments when I do not watch my xinxing. One time I got into an argument with my husband. That night I heard my cell phone ring in my dream. I then saw a text message that said, “Are you a practitioner?” After waking up, I was certain that the dream was a hint from Master (Li Hongzhi) and I felt ashamed.
A practitioner must find and let go of attachments. I once chose the largest apple from the basket in the cafeteria and felt quite pleased. But when I bit into it, I noticed that it was rotten with a big wormhole at the bottom. I believe I was being shown that I was still selfish and greedy. This was another hint from Master about attachments I still needed to relinquish.
I was happy when I was growing up, and everyone adored me. But my husband was just the opposite, which was an eye opener. He belittled people. When we got married, I thought that his entering my life was meant to help me cultivate.
One time he sharpened a knife and acted like he was going to kill me. But he didn't attack me. I realized that Master was giving me another hint—I shouldn't be stuck in ordinary people's notions when dealing with him. Master knows what we think, and he is always by our side.
More recently, I started to think that only someone of a higher level could live with my husband. We have been married for over 10 years, so I convinced myself I was someone of a higher level.
That night, I saw myself in many different-sized mirrors. The question arose, “You view yourself as being superior?” By looking into the mirror, Master was giving me a hint that I needed to look inward and improve my xinxing.
Cultivation is a process. Through suffering, one improves bit by bit. Although the process is painful, the results are gratifying.
Master said:
Ordinary people do not understand the pain of cultivation,Happiness to them is vying and competing;Cultivate, my disciples, ‘til no single omission is found,And with the passing of all adversity,will come the sweetness of true joy.(“Cultivating Amidst the Delusion” in Hong Yin, Translation Version A)
When Jiang Zemin, the former head of the communist regime, launched an unprecedented persecution, I wondered, “Is Falun Gong truly righteous? Is Master really like how the communist propaganda portrays him?” I finally concluded that the public was being fed lies. Dafa is righteous and Master is righteous! My mother and I were determined to cultivate in Dafa! We had to let people know the truth about the persecution.
Because we did not have any truth-clarification materials, we created them in the form of questions and answers. I then had them printed at a copy shop.
I had no fear. All I wanted to do was tell people the truth and clear up the lies. We printed our first handwritten materials and began to distribute them in residential buildings. As the persecution worsened, making copies in a copy shop was no longer safe.
My sister was also a cultivator, and we made copies in her bag shop using carbon paper to manually copy the materials. We made only two or three copies at a time when there were no customers around and mailed them after work.
When I received Master's new article from our local coordinator, I needed to make copies. Although the persecution was very rampant, I held righteous thoughts, let go of my fear, and decided to go back to the copy shop and make copies.
I didn’t know how to send righteous thoughts, but I just held the thought, “Don’t let the clerk look at this. Don’t let him look at it!” When I handed him the article, his glasses were about to fall off, so he held them on with his hand. Then he helped another customer, so he put the article into the copier and handed the copies to me without looking at them. I returned home safely.
We later purchased a computer and a printer and no longer had a problem when it came to printing informational materials.
When I was five months pregnant, another practitioner and I went to a school to distribute Dafa materials. A student reported us and the security guards took us to the security office. They confiscated our bags with informational materials inside. When several police officers arrived, I suddenly had a bad thought, “This time only, if I compromise, I can get out.” I knew that this thought was not me. I negated it and calmed down to sort out my thoughts.
When we sent righteous thoughts in our vehicle on the way to the school, the other practitioner fell asleep. We had so many omissions we did not pay attention to. I thought, “We are Master's disciples. We will rectify our deficiencies in our cultivation.”
Master told us that we must completely deny the old forces. “I should not be here. This is not where Dafa disciples should be. What Master denies, Dafa disciples do not accept either.”
When my thoughts became clear, I knew how to handle it. Wherever Dafa disciples go, the truth will be told. In addition to sending powerful righteous thoughts, I clarified the truth out loud, because we were on the first floor and people who passed by the window could hear me.
At that moment, I really felt that Master and divine beings were standing next to us. My celestial eye is not open, but I can always feel that I am protected. At that time, I felt like a child whose parents were making decisions for her. I had no fear left!
They handcuffed one of my hands to the leg of a table and tried to find out who I was. I told them that my name was “Dafa disciple.” In addition to telling them the truth about the persecution, the only other thing I said was, “No comment!” When I came in, I did not expect to be let go. After they realized that I was pregnant, I was released.
I realized that cultivation is really about building a solid foundation. Our tribulations are meant to test us, to see if we truly believe in Master and the Fa.
There were times when I faced danger, but by keeping righteous thoughts, I was not arrested. One time, two security guards approached me from behind and one said “Don't distribute those here,” but they left me alone. On another occasion, a figure on a billboard gave me a thumbs up. I knew it was Master encouraging me.