(Minghui.org) My young daughter and I study the Fa together. When she does not understand the meaning of a sentence, she asks me over and over again. When I explained my understanding sentence by sentence, I often realized that the meaning was different from what I had understood earlier. I had never studied the Fa so attentively. Because I studied the Fa teachings with my daughter, my cultivation state greatly improved.
When I clarified the truth about Falun Dafa outside my home, I felt fear at times. I did not want to indulge in the feeling, so I looked within. What was I afraid of? Arrest? Persecution? Those were the arrangements by the old forces, whom I wanted to negate. Not only that, but I also wanted to eliminate the old forces that generated the thought. The fear was the attachment–it was not I. It was also an indication that my belief was not strong and firm. I needed to intensify my righteous thoughts through Fa study.
When I began to study the Fa, I had a pure heart. I noticed that many bad substances were dissolved, and my attachments and thought karma were also eliminated. I formed another notion: as long as I study the Fa, it will eliminate unwanted substances. I had this strong pursuit whenever I studied the Fa.
When I became aware of this thought, I rejected it because I felt that it was disrespectful of the Fa and not a pure thought.
I also noticed when I let go of pursuit, when I read and memorized the Fa, I was able to understand the words, sentences, and paragraphs much better. I was often able to find my real issues. Then, I noticed a big elevation in my cultivation.
When I studied the Fa with pursuit, it stopped me from truly understanding the Fa. But when I view myself as a particle of the Fa, unconditionally assimilate into the Fa, and follow the Dafa principles of Truthfulness, Compassion, and Forbearance, I am able to find the root cause of all sorts of attachments.
In the past, whenever I came across an issue, I would realize that I have attachments, such as jealousy and worry. I could then find part of my attachments but not their root. When I started to study the Fa without pursuit, I was able to differentiate which one was the real me, and the attachment from the root to the surface was presented to me in its entirety.
Previously, I was only able to eliminate the attachment on the surface but could not dissolve the root of the problem. When I was able to identify who the real me was, I suddenly realized that the old forces are nothing. I no longer needed to expend too much energy on it because I became a particle of Dafa and walked on the path arranged by Master.
Clarifying the truth to save people is compassionate, but I did this for selfish reasons.
Just like how I studied the Fa with pursuit, I felt I was clarifying the truth with pursuit. When I noticed my elevation and improvement, I developed a notion that only when I clarified the truth well could I elevate and improve. So, I clarified the truth for the purpose of elevation.
Whenever I became aware of this selfish thought, I would tell myself, “I am a selfless life cultivating in Dafa.”
Master said:
“Beings like these are far superior to any worldly role models or heroes, for they are motivated solely by compassion and a wish to save people from this world, so they give of themselves freely, without terms, and have no thought of being rewarded or recognized for it.” (The Second Talk, Zhuan Falun)
This was the example of selflessness that divine beings have set for us.
After I corrected my unrighteous thoughts, I found that when I clarified the truth, I was doing it to save sentient beings wholeheartedly, and I developed compassion toward them.
I endured ten years of spousal abuse. My husband often beat me for no reason. I endured it on the surface but also developed resentment and fear. The stronger my resentment, the harder he beat me. It got worse over time.
When I realized that resentment was my attachment, I began to eliminate it and no longer resented him. Instead, I began to treat him kindly. The abuse stopped on its own.
This made me wonder whether this principle also applied to practitioners who have faced violence while imprisoned, whether the persecution intensified because they held malicious thoughts toward their persecutors rather than thoughts that align with Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance.
When I began to study the Fa without pursuit, I was able to find the root of my attachments. Because I was beholden to the attachment, the old forces took advantage of my loophole and kept me in tribulations. Being aware of my true cultivation state is very crucial, as I become more aware and rational.
When I am able to rationally evaluate my cultivation state, I am able to work on my shortcomings. Instead of using worry, concern, and excuses to avoid my attachment, I can cultivate solidly to get rid of my attachment and improve step by step.
If I pay attention to each and every thought, each day is different. The attachments I exhibit each day are different, so when I immediately look within and find its root, each day of cultivating myself is different. When I face different people in different environments, my means of clarifying the truth is also different each day.