(Minghui.org) I am a fourth-year university student who has cultivated Falun Dafa since primary school. During these years of cultivation, the biggest change I made was to stop treating Fa study and doing the exercises as a burden and requiring myself to practice the exercises and study the Fa every day. This may not seem like a problem for other practitioners, but for me it was difficult.
I Did Not Cherish My Opportunity
I started practicing Falun Dafa naturally as my mother is a practitioner. I was the only child in the family and did not go through much hardship growing up. I really did not know why I practiced Dafa nor did I feel fortunate to do so. Later, I learned that as Dafa practitioners we must not only cultivate ourselves, but we also need to awaken sentient beings in the process. This “burden” became too heavy for me. I did not understand why people could enter the new universe just by knowing that Dafa is good or quitting the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) and its youth organizations.
Therefore, in primary school through high school, I avoided doing the exercises or studying Zhuan Falun. I also did not complete studying the other teachings by Master Li (the founder). Despite feeling sorry about it, I only tried to recite the parts of Hong Yin Vol. II that I could remember. Whenever I recited “The will to be diligent never bowed” (“Steadfast,” Hong Yin Vol. II), I regretted wasting my time and not completing all the important things. I felt uneasy about my behavior and blamed myself for letting Master down, despite his reminders. However, as I went about my day, I forgot that I was a Falun Dafa practitioner. This muddleheaded scenario carried on through high school.
Studying the Fa Changed Me
When I entered university, I suddenly had more free time to myself, and I also had my own mobile phone. The sudden change from a nerve-racking high school environment to a relaxing university campus led me to allow myself to slack off for a time. However, I soon realized that having a mobile phone did not let me become more relaxed and happy. On the contrary, my temper deteriorated. My life was dictated by relationships with other students and I often allowed myself to feel the sadness and joy of the everyday world, and I became lonely and sad.
Luckily, Master Li did not give up on me. He always gave me hints when I was on the verge of danger. One incident I remember clearly concerned a dream I had. In the dream, I clearly knew that I had only one day to live. I suddenly remembered the times when I did not cultivate diligently or study the Fa well. After that, I immediately asked my mom to let me join the group Fa study. During Fa study, I learned many of Master Li’s teachings. As I read through Master’s teachings, regret and remorse for the time that I wasted when I slacked off or became lazy flooded in. Suddenly, I felt that my soul was exiting my body through my back and the words in the book Zhuan Falun that I was holding became a blur. My heart filled with remorse and I abruptly awoke! I felt my soul reentering my being through my chest and I gradually recovered. The first feeling that I had when I woke up was: I am still alive. Great, I am still alive!
This dream changed me a lot. I started to make time to study Zhuan Falun as well as Master’s other lectures. Mom noticed changes in me after I really started to study the Fa more frequently. I am also quite happy about the change in me.
Illness Tribulation Allowed Me to Realize the Importance of the Five Sets of Exercises
Although I caught up with my Fa study, doing the exercises was the most difficult task for me at that time. Under the influence of my desire to seek comfort and my laziness, I did not do the exercises regularly on a daily basis.
In early 2018, I went through a serious illness tribulation. The flu virus was spreading very quickly at that time and there were many patients in the hospital. It started off with dad, who is not a Falun Dafa practitioner, developing a fever. On the second day after he went for an injection, I suddenly felt cold throughout my body, with a headache and sore throat. I went to bed after studying the Fa and sending forth righteous thoughts. When I woke up I was sweating, drowsy and my joints were painful. Luckily, dad did not force me to take medications. In these situations, I normally recover quite fast after studying the Fa and doing the exercises, so dad just said, “Drink more water, and minimize contact with others.”
However, this illness tribulation was the most miserable I ever experienced in my 20 years of life. As there was no other choice, I practiced the exercises with mom. That was the first time that I managed to complete a one-hour meditation. After practicing, mom was very surprised and asked, “Since it appears you are able to meditate for one hour, why didn’t you do so during normal practice times?” I knew the answer was that my heart did not want to persevere, thinking that meditating for half an hour is already quite a feat. All these attachments caused me to go through the most miserable illness tribulation of my whole life.
This lesson led me to understand the solemnity of cultivation and that we cannot treat Fa study and exercises lightly. I also learned that being opportunistic will only hurt myself, as karma accumulates over time and has to be repaid.
Improving Xinxing Based on the Fa
By my third year at the university, I became more diligent in cultivation, although laziness still appeared occasionally. Every day I studied a chapter of Zhuan Falun, half an hour of Master’s lectures and practiced the five exercises. For me, it is really not easy to persevere in completing these activities every day. My heart felt like a battlefield: there were days when I studied the Fa less, but then realized I should not do this because I would regret it later. There seemed to be a tug-of-war game going on inside of me. During these times, I received much help from Minghui.org articles and mom’s reminders. I am grateful for fellow practitioners who helped me to improve my xinxing and avoid unnecessary detours in my cultivation path.
During the 2018 summer break, a university lecturer provided me with a very good part-time internship opportunity. The job location was convenient to my house. After the success of the interview, mom and I were very happy as we felt that this job was specially arranged for me since all the conditions matched my needs. Because of the job, however, I did not have enough time for myself, thus I had to overcome having to wake up early and join mom in the morning to do the exercises. During the interview and while I was buying my clothes for work, I also got rid of quite a lot of my attachments of fear, desire for the opposite sex, etc. At that time, I felt that this job was specially arranged for me by Master.
However, on the first day of work, everything changed. The working hours were different and the salary was reduced. I needed to use my own phone to make company calls as they did not have a designated phone for me. I told myself to forget about these small losses since everyone in the company treated me quite well and the company environment was good. However, when I returned home for dinner, mom’s expression did not look good. After dinner, she showed me an online article that discussed a current trend where finance companies disappeared overnight. I immediately rejected the thought and said, “This will not happen to this company! It has so many branches, has collaborations with so many well-known brands, it is located in a relatively upscale area and its company staff are all graduates from well-known overseas universities. How could such a company con people and run away overnight?”
My heart was full of anger, feeling that mom was blowing things up, worrying for nothing. However, I still finished reading the article and realized that the description content was really similar to my current company. I felt helpless and unsure of what I should do. My attachments to losing face, fame, and self benefits all surfaced.
My rational self told me that I should not keep this job, but I really did not want to reject the goodwill from my university lecturer. Mom reminded me again, “The high salaries of this company’s staff are possible through charging customers very high interest rates to repay their loans. You are indirectly involved with this immoral practice. I have seen many sharing articles on Minghui.org that talk about practitioners not abiding by the Fa and ending up being made use of by the old forces. Therefore, I finally knew what I should do, but it was really so difficult to take that step.
This was an ideal work environment. The office building was beautiful and co-workers were highly educated and the boss kind. If I rejected the job, I would lose all of this. Most importantly, I was someone who is most worried about others treating me with a bad attitude. If I reject the job, how will the boss and my lecturer look at me? All my attachments caused my thoughts to waver and tears flowed uncontrollably.
I read in Zhuan Falun that Master said:
“The challenging part is that you have to remain unmoved when you knowingly get taken advantage of by people, when things that mean a lot to you are on the line, when people around you are contending over things, or when those you love suffer. You have to learn to see these things in the proper light. Being a practitioner is by no means easy.” (The Eighth Talk, The One Who Practices Achieves, Zhuan Falun)
I felt true misery when I was reluctant to let go of the attachment in my heart. In the past when I read these words, I did not think much about it. This time I finally understood what Master meant when he said,
“Physical pains count little as suffering,Indeed, cultivating mind is hardest.”(“Tempering the Will,” Hong Yin)
In the end, I called up the company and resigned from the job. Although they did not complain about me, my lecturer talked to me about the future of my career which made me suddenly feel hopeless about my future. This resulted in me being out of sorts the next day, as though I had gone through some devastating experience, having no energy to do anything. However, on the third day, I suddenly understood that resigning from this job did not mean that all that I have understood in the past was wrong. This work opportunity gave me a chance to rid myself of a lot of attachments. I am a cultivator, so in the process of getting rid of attachments, I also improved my xinxing. I’ve also been able to start practicing the exercises every morning. Isn’t that great? Although the university lecturer said that my future will be bleak, those are just the words of someone who does not understand cultivation practice in Falun Dafa. A cultivator’s life is changed and no one can be sure about our future. Only Master knows about our future and thus I do not have to worry about that now.
At this moment, my heart is no longer the same as the day before. The money that one earns through his own efforts will gain more recognition than that earned by those who are bright and beautiful on the outside but are actually obtaining benefits through cheating others.
Master said, “What the average person considers good or bad isn’t necessarily correct. ”(The Fourth Talk, Perfecting Your Character, Zhuan Falun).
I have a deeper understanding of that now. I now see why Master made this painstaking arrangement for me! I feel lucky to have my practitioner mom remind me about Fa teachings when needed. I also learned the importance of reading Minghui.org sharing articles.
Conclusion
These tribulations felt like very difficult tests when I was passing through them, but later they all looked very small. Through studying the Fa, I understood the greatness of the term “Dafa Disciples.” If we want to live up to this title, we must abide by the Fa and cultivate diligently. The requirements for a cultivator are the guide to cultivating ourselves.
I am very lucky that Master Li did not give up on me and kept encouraging and reminding me despite the many mistakes that I have made.
