(Minghui.org) I'd like to share with you some of my cultivation experiences after my role changed from coordinating all local projects to quietly cooperating with others. My cultivation path improved and I now have a deeper understanding of the Fa principles regarding cultivating solidly, looking inward, helping Master rectify the Fa and fulfilling my vows. I experienced the freedom and easiness of truly being selfless.
One winter morning five plainclothes policemen from the Domestic Security Division broke into my home. They searched my apartment and took many Dafa materials. I was under extreme pressure both physically and mentally and I was not able to remember any of Master's teachings. But I had one clear and determined thought: No matter what happens, I only listen to and follow Master. No one can harm me. Because of this thought, I could handle everything rationally.
At the police station I was chained to an iron chair. No matter how viciously the police treated me I was not angry and remained calm. I talked to the policemen with compassion. I explained how I was tortured in the past and my experiences were evidence in my lawsuit against a former Chinese Communist Party (CCP) head.
I also told them the reason Falun Dafa practitioners endured so much was that they wanted people to learn the truth so they could distance themselves from being implicated when the CCP was criminally charged. I told them that as long as the police, as well as ordinary people, knew the truth and were offered an opportunity to quit the CCP I didn't mind suffering. I explained why I filed a lawsuit against the former CCP head and the principle of retribution. I told them that I had a legal right to file a lawsuit and when they arrested me they violated the law.
At first the police chief treated me badly, but his demeanor changed after he listened to me. When I refused to answer any questions he answered the questions himself. When a policeman asked him how he should describe the materials they took from my home, I told him not to record anything about the materials, otherwise I would be sentenced to three years in prison.
Two policemen were assigned to watch me, while the others went for lunch. I came to my senses and remembered Master's poem.
“Imprisoned as you are,don’t be sorrowful or sadCarry on with righteous thoughts and actions,and the Fa is with youCalmly reflect on the attachments you haveRemove your human thoughtsand evil will naturally die out(Don't Be Sad, Hong Yin II, Translation Version A)
I repeatedly recited this poem and apologized to Master. I asked for his help and strengthening so that I could be released. I promised that I would treasure every opportunity to cultivate myself going forward, looking within and would not let my notions control my speech and actions. I was gradually able to remember the Fa I had memorized.
In addition to reciting the Fa a lot and sending righteous thoughts constantly, I looked inward and reflected on my recent behavior. I had an argument with another practitioner, May, regarding the production and distribution of desk calendars which had information about Falun Dafa. Because I handled the issue with a strong human attachment, some of the other practitioners also got involved. I didn't cultivate myself; instead I looked outward and blamed May. I thought I was being very righteous. For a long time I looked down on her. One night while I was detained, in a dream she asked me if I had looked within.
While I was detained I found attachments and human notions that were not in line with the Fa. I decided to treat practitioners kindly and cultivate myself.
Thanks to practitioners' efforts and Master's protection, I was released. After I returned I realized that every practitioner could handle things themselves, so I had more time.
In the past I coordinated many Dafa projects such as writing, editing, distributing fliers, hanging up banners and clarifying the truth to people face to face. I was always on the front line of every project. Gradually practitioners relied on me. I planned everything and assigned jobs. After I was detained, the local practitioners didn't know what to do and felt anxious. Some relaxed their cultivation and others felt lost.
I realized that I could no longer ask other practitioners to blindly follow me. Everyone has their own cultivation path and there was no format to follow. I also realized that I was wrong in arranging everything for other practitioners and caused them to rely on me and admire me. I actually hindered them from walking their own paths and walking on the paths that Master arranged for them. My actions were not in line with the Fa. If I prevented them from reaching consummation, I would commit a big sin and would have to bear the consequences.
So I made some changes and some practitioners offered to coordinate projects. If problems occurred, they made their own decisions according to the Fa principles. They no longer came to me first as they did before. Some capable practitioners took on projects and completed them without consulting me.
Eventually, I became an ordinary practitioner and was no longer busy with passing on informational materials or solving problems for other practitioners. I started to cultivate myself quietly and do the things that I should do wholeheartedly.
May had some advantages that I didn't have. I peacefully accepted the way she did things and I tried to change my mentality of looking down upon her. After I accepted her, she accepted me. I no longer want to change her. I let her carry out her role and cooperated with her. We talked for a long time one day, and this time we didn't argue or defend ourselves as we used to.
When May was arrested and imprisoned we didn't complain about her shortcomings. Instead, we coordinated to rescue her.
While I quietly cooperated, some practitioners badmouthed me behind my back. This time I did not get angry or blame anyone, instead, I looked within. I didn't argue or defend myself; I treated them with compassion. Master saw that I sincerely wished to cultivate myself and eliminated many bad things for me. I didn't have any grievances or feel that I was wronged.
I knew that all the complaints about me were caused by my attachment to seeking fame. I liked to listen to praise and had a strong attachment to vanity. I refused to listen to anyone's opinion. After I identified these attachments I felt calm and peaceful. I was not emotional as I used to be, instead I felt relaxed.
I felt delighted when I let go of my ego. Everything around me became serene and peaceful. When I cultivated myself, I felt Master's spiritual body was with me.