(Minghui.org) I saw a handwritten event notice and contact info about Falun Dafa at a university in 2003, but didn’t begin to practice Dafa until two years later, when I was introduced to Dafa again by two Chinese students.
I was born and grew up on a farm. I got a degree in communication engineering, met my husband, and we got married. We went to Europe to live closer to our parents. We also wanted to raise our son in the European culture.
I gave up my technical job and taught language. This gave me a flexible schedule and the ability to attend Dafa activities. My language skills weren't that good when I went to school, but now I have gotten more interested in furthering my language skills. This has proven helpful in my translation work for Minghui. My translation work at Minghui made me more passionate about learning another language.
An editor asked me one day whether I wanted to join the Minghui multi-language translation team, which I did. However, I gave up after I realized that the translation process was too complicated.
Then, I joined the project again two years later, and realized that to be a member of the Minghui team is a great honor.
Passing a Xinxing Test
The coordinator asked us to find mistakes in published articles, and provide feedback. An editor trained me. After spending some time understanding and learning the process, I started my search for errors in published articles. But not until now did I realize that the suggested corrections I had brought up caused lots of confusion and tension among editors, because some of the mistakes I pointed out caused a few members to be questioned by the team.
I listed the mistakes I found on a file, sent the list to the entire team, and waited for approval by the editor. I found I could easily identify the mistakes. Master gave me the wisdom to accomplish this task.
The coordinator asked us to check for mistakes in feature articles of the past weeks, as well as the China Fahui articles. Except for a few changes, I later found that all of the mistakes I had pointed out, and were approved by the editors, weren’t changed after July 2017. During the European Conference in 2017, I had asked the coordinator if the corrections were processed. I suggested that if he didn’t have time, I could do it. He said that it wasn’t necessary. I thought maybe he had some security concerns. But he continued to ask me to look for mistakes in the articles at our weekly meetings.
During the Shen Yun promotion season, I downloaded all the China Fahui articles and read them when I was on a break. I wrote down all the mistakes in a small notebook, and copied them onto my computer before sending the list to the editorial team.
Then, I read all China Fahui articles in 2017, the feature articles, as well as some regular articles. Then I sent out a list of the mistakes I found. I received some feedback from the editors. They said some mistakes would be changed and some weren’t mistakes and wouldn’t be changed. But I still found that the mistakes on the website weren’t changed. I asked the coordinator several times, but never received a clear answer before March 2018. Nine months after the European Fa conference, the coordinator finally said that he wouldn’t change the mistakes on the website.
I was shocked upon hearing him saying that, after reading over 100 articles and pointing out the mistakes. I became depressed, angry, very disappointed, and felt dejected, which was very painful. I just couldn’t understand. I wanted to know why. I thought about this from the perspective of an ordinary person. I felt that this was a huge waste of our resources, and they'd lost the opportunity to improve the article quality on our website.
I even thought about giving up cultivation. But I’m glad I did not act on my thought, and started to study the Fa again. But my monthly translation amount dropped from 60 to 0. I felt that it was meaningless. I often cried when I studied the Fa, because I wanted to look for an explanation. During this time, I developed a very negative opinion of the coordinator.
I resumed translating greetings again around Master’s birthday in 2018. But I didn’t work on regular articles. I wanted to do the Minghui work, but I felt that something was blocking me. I felt helpless. I shared my thoughts with a fellow practitioner from the same project, and she suggested that I switch to other projects. It was at that time I realized how important it is for me to be involved with Minghui projects. With a lot of difficulties, I began to do regular translation again in June, exactly three months after I faced the xinxing test.
Master said:
“As to what you have lost among everyday people, haven’t you knowingly lost it?” (Lecture Eight, Zhuan Falun)
“During the process of transforming karma, to keep yourself under control—unlike an everyday person who would mess things up—you should always maintain a heart of benevolence and a mind of kindness.” (Lecture Four, Zhuan Falun)
“Because of that little amount of your inborn quality you have reached this state. In order to ascend further, the standard must be raised as well.” (Lecture Four, Zhuan Falun)
I enlightened that I was given these tribulations to improve on my cultivation path. But, I failed the test and didn’t improve.
While I kept thinking about how wrong the coordinator was, I realized that I was looking outward. I realized that when I begin to look for my own attachments, this problem would disappear by itself.
I asked Master to help me remove the negative substances in my mind.
Looking Inward
One practitioner suggested that I read the chapter about jealousy in Zhuan Falun. I have always put a lot of heart and thought into doing things, had developed the attachment of self-righteousness, and felt that I was better than others. This was also related to my mentality of showing off and my desire to be recognized by others.
During the European Conference in 2018, I was scheduled to meet with the coordinator. I was a little intimidated in the beginning. But in fact, everything went very smoothly. The sharing from all the practitioners that were present also proved to be very helpful. I felt the coordinator was trying to give us more freedom, instead of controlling everything. I was very moved. I felt my resentment melting away. I was surprised to feel the compassion emanating from him. After that meeting, I felt very relaxed and was no longer tense.
Because we don’t have an effective mechanism, we can’t change any mistake in a timely manner after the articles are published. I still feel it’s a pity, because I think this is a very important step to improve the overall quality of Minghui. But I’m no longer attached to the result.
After receiving feedback, I was no longer attached to whether the mistakes were corrected after publication. During a team meeting earlier this year, I asked the main coordinator about this issue, and learned that the Chinese Minghui team was taking care of this issue
Now things are moving forward very fast. We formed a team to go over the articles before and after they’re published and we also have practitioners dedicated to making corrections after the mistakes are found.
Master said:
“...the more you encounter ordeals, or unpleasant things, the more it is an occasion for you to look at the problems in a different way and think to yourself, “All of these are stepping stones by which to cultivate and improve.” Isn’t that the case?” (“Dafa Disciples Must Study the Fa,” Collected Fa Teachings, Vol. XI)
I want to thank Master for letting me see these attachments, and helping me improve using such a difficult test.
Understanding Cause and Effect
Before leaving for the European Fa Conference last year, I had a meal with my family. I told them that I was under a lot of pressure just thinking about meeting with the coordinator. My son asked me, “Does this person have anything worth mentioning?” I said yes without any doubt. I thought that he encouraged us to study the Fa together and it was so helpful to me. Fa study is the foundation to everything.
Meanwhile, I also felt a lot of pressure just to meet with the team. But I was also happy to see them. I was touched by their warm welcome. I asked myself, why do I feel so much pressure? I have to look within and get rid of my own attachment – forcing others to agree with my opinion.
Master has been using other’s mouths to remind me of my problem over the past days.
I called my sister a few days ago and asked her what the best time was for her to watch Shen Yun. I wanted to invite her daughter to the show. She got very angry and said that I was forcing her. She said that she should decide herself what was the best for her daughter.
My son rarely talks to me. However, he is more communicative with his father. He has the strong desire to become independent. It always made me very sad that he didn’t talk to me. One day, I was putting away dishes when he left for school, but I didn’t hear him say goodbye. I was very angry and told my husband about it. He said to my son, “Be prepared, the storm is coming.” When I returned home, my son apologized to me and said he wanted to talk to me. He wrote down his thoughts on the computer. He detailed his daily arrangement and activities. He said the reason why he didn’t tell me this before was because I always criticized him, and I always evaluated everything with a negative slant. Additionally, I also force others to accept my reasoning.
I also realized that whatever happened between me and my family also helped me get rid of my attachment to human sentimentality.
Then, I was assigned an article. I didn’t notice anything unusual in the beginning, but then I realized that the article was titled, “Forcing others to accept my opinion.” This helped me understand that Master helps us cultivate through Minghui work.
The gathering of our team this year allows us not only to meet each other, but also helps us improve in our cultivation. It’s an intensive process for us to purify ourselves. Many of our xinxing conflicts were dissolved after the meeting. I was able to communicate rationally with my son, without emotion or the attachment to family. I no longer believe that I am correct, have to know everything, or that they have to listen to me. Our family relationship has become more harmonious and our communication is much smoother.
(Presented at the Minghui’s 20th Anniversary Fa Conference – selected and edited)
