(Minghui.org) After I started practicing Falun Dafa in 2011, I always thought that I did well in terms of believing in Master and Dafa. No matter how big the tribulation I encountered, I first thought of Master and Dafa, which allowed me to overcome tribulations successfully. But recently, I found that I fell short. I even tried to cover up my attachment using the Fa teachings.
I am 46 years old. Before I practiced Falun Dafa, I suffered from at least 20 different health problems, and I wished I had never been born. There was a yellowish cast to my complexion and my skin was dry and wrinkled. Besides that, I had a UV allergy and acne and easily broke out in hives, so I feared exposing myself to the sun. I was allergic to high-quality skin care products and used only the most common moisturizer. When I was in my 30s, I looked like I was in my 50s. Looking at myself in the mirror upset me.
After I took up Falun Dafa, I gradually became healthy. I felt good and was always in a good mood. Many people asked me why I was looking younger and younger. I told them that Falun Dafa had changed me. Looking in the mirror, I could see I had indeed changed. My complexion became fair and I no longer had acne.
But recently, the skin on my face seemed a little dry. When a fellow practitioner saw me, she said, “Your face is a little dry. Maybe your skin care routine is not good enough. You should change it.” I didn't think about it, but I could tell that my face was dry. I thought my face was usually dry in the springtime. I did not look inwards to find out why this was so.
Then practitioner Aling (alias) told me the skin care product her sister sold was very good and that many people used it. At first, I wasn't tempted. I told her, “It may be effective for ordinary people but not for us cultivators.”
Aling was 10 years younger than I, and her skin was good to begin with, but it became even better after she started using her sister's products. We often studied the Fa together. Every time I saw her beautiful skin, my heart was moved. I thought about how cultivators should also be in line with ordinary people but should dress a little nicer and look a little better. That meant my face should look better. So I told Aling, “I want to buy the skin care products that hydrate, moisturize, and lighten.”
The first time I applied the product, my skin started to itch and broke out in a rash. The product might be good for others, but not for me. It was not the fault of the product, I realized, it was related to my attachment, and I stopped using it.
I shared my experience with fellow practitioners. They said, “As a cultivator, we do not care about brand names. We use common moisturizers.” I did not agree with them, but somehow I knew they were right. I was torn.
After a few days of internal turmoil, I decided to try it again. As soon as I applied the cream, my face felt numb. I ignored it and continued to use it for four or five days. My skin didn't develop a rash this time, but it was dry. I started applying the cream at night as well as in the morning. The more I used it, the drier my face became.
My skin was so tight that it felt like it was being pulled and my eyelids felt like they were glued together. I looked in the mirror and saw more wrinkles and bigger bags under my eyes. How could this be? Something must be wrong.
I calmed down and looked inwards. I realized I liked to look at myself in the mirror. I wanted my face to be fair and my complexion to be rosy. This was a desire—a longing for admiration and approval for my beautiful appearance. This was the attachment of lust.
Master said, “Sexual desire and attraction both count as human attachments, and both should go.” (The Sixth Talk, Zhuan Falun)
I usually thought I did well in this respect. I did not know I had this hidden dirty thought. I had to remove it. Lust is the first test for a cultivator. If I could not pass this test, how could I continue to cultivate?
Also, when I saw Aling's skin look so good, I wanted to make my skin look better. This was jealousy.
Master said:
“Jealousy is a serious problem since it directly bears on whether a person can achieve spiritual perfection. If you can’t rid yourself of jealousy it will undermine all of the work you have done on your character. There is a rule: anyone who doesn’t free himself of jealousy while practicing cannot attain true divine standing. No exceptions.” (The Seventh Talk, Zhuan Falun)
I used to feel that my jealousy was not strong, but it was very strong. It had to be removed.
Then, when I bought the skin care product at a wholesale price from the practitioner, I did not consider her interest. Wasn't this the attachment to self-interest? How could I still have so many attachments after cultivating for so many years?
When I looked inward even more deeply, I found that I fell short in believing Master.
Master said:
“After practicing Falun Dafa for some time, the changes in your appearance might be dramatic. Common ones include the skin becoming soft and fair, with a rosy glow, and a lessening of wrinkles—sometimes quite dramatic—among those who are older.” (The First Talk, Zhuan Falun)
“If I’m allowed to tease a little, I’d say that young women will naturally achieve the beautiful skin tone they’re always after, provided they sincerely do mind-body practice—and without needing to go to the lengths they once did.” (The Fifth Talk, Zhuan Falun)
Master told us clearly the best way to have better skin is to cultivate. Why did I still have doubts? Did I not believe Master? I wanted to use skin care products to improve my skin. Skin care products contain chemicals that could be unsafe for humans. Master is purifying our bodies every day, but I put chemicals on my face. No wonder my skin didn't have a rosy glow. Had I cultivated solidly as a real cultivator? Did I honestly believe in Master? If so, why did I still need to use human methods to moisturize and lighten my skin?
Master said:
“Then there are practices that truly change the body. They do so by constantly storing up high-energy matter in the cells of the body. And as the density of the stored energy steadily increases, it gradually comes to inhibit, and ultimately replace, one’s normal human cells. This will lead to a qualitative change, such that you become youthful, and stay that way.” (The Ninth Talk, Zhuan Falun)
Falun Dafa is a practice for both mind and body. It is supernatural. Why do we believe skin care products will do a better job than our practice? I realized that issues encountered by non-practitioners like dryness or yellow or dark spots are caused by karma. The karma is also a living being. Applying skin care products is killing living beings. They will hide in a deeper dimension. Your face may look better, but it is not a long-term solution. The problem will reappear as the karma is accumulated and becomes stronger. It could also manifest as illness. You have to pay back the karma produced by your past bad deeds. As a cultivator, how can we believe that using skin care products could make karma go away? We need to follow a higher standard.
Thinking of these things, I was ashamed and full of regret. Although I studied the Fa every day, how much had I mastered? It seemed to be a trivial matter, but it showed the low level of my cultivation.
I gave the skincare products away. At first, the skin on my face continued to feel tight. Then it started to peel and felt rough. Sometimes it felt hot. My heart was not moved. I knew the upper layer of skin had suffered from using skincare chemicals for years. They needed to be peeled away.
I was determined to follow what I'd enlightened to. I believed Master would give me the best high-energy substances. My body in other dimensions is young and beautiful. Why am I obsessed with the changes in the physical body in this human world? The principles in the human world are the opposite of those at a high level. The skin on my face improved every day.
The Fa-rectification is coming to an end. We really need to think about whether we really believe in Master. Have we cultivated solidly? Have we removed our attachments? When Master asks us to break away from humanness, can we follow him?