(Minghui.org) I began cultivating in Falun Dafa 10 years ago. Immediately I started to share Falun Dafa at a practice site I set up in the city where I lived, because I always had the desire for more people to hear about Dafa. I connected with practitioners through the Internet to participate in projects.
I went to an Experience Sharing Conference in New York in 2013. I recognized shortcomings in my cultivation, which I had to get rid of – the attachment of feeling guilty and fear. I became an advocate who changed my environment to one that would help practitioners and permit me to accomplish my vows.
As the Master said:
“...during this historic period shouldn’t we be playing the lead role?”(“Fa Teaching at the 2013 Greater New York Fa Conference”)
I thought that a Minghui website should be established for Portuguese readers, who are scattered in nine countries. But I still was not thinking of it as being my responsibility. That same year, in the second semester I moved to another state to finish my PhD thesis. For a few months, I went to practice sites and was greatly helped by local practitioners in my cultivation. I remember one day that after going to the practice site, I was so calm that I went to read Hong Yin and studied it with a unique depth. The Fa opened for me and I understood the principles more clearly. While there I also participated in the local Fa study group, and activities to promote Shen Yun.
When I went to the Fa Conference in Los Angeles in October 2013, I was awakened by Master's heavy stick warning,
“Recently, quite a few practitioners have come out of mainland China. Regardless of how they came, many, I’m aware, did a great job in China, while many, I realize, did poorly. Then when they arrive overseas and find circumstances so trouble-free and relaxed, and no persecution, they start to think about enjoying a comfortable and leisurely life. But to not fulfill one’s vows is a dangerous thing! How so? You have responsibilities! You are a Fa-Rectification Period Dafa Disciple! The Dafa disciples of this era are to assist Master, and to take responsibility for saving people. And yet you don’t work on that!” (“Fa Teaching at the 2013 Western U.S. Fa Conference”)
I had been through this process of feeling relaxed in the United States, as life was easier and the materialistic aspect of society affected me intensely. At the same time, I had the urge to practice more diligently, but could not, due to my strong human mentality and attachment to comfort. Although I studied the Fa every day, I did the Dafa exercises only three times a week.
But, the most important thing I learned from Teacher's lecture is that I had to participate in the Minghui project, and let go of all the bad thoughts I had about myself and other practitioners. I requested a meeting with the Dafa Association, and the Minghui in Portuguese began in November 2013. The site went online in July 2014.
It was not a smooth process to translate articles without having a website to publish. In addition, I had to overcome my insecurity and my inability to communicate my ideas to other practitioners. Starting with the name of the site, a practitioner wanted to translate it, but I disagreed, because the name “Minghui” was like a trademark.
Another aspect that I had to work on was how to handle the site with the main site in the United States. A practitioner wanted to set up and design the site, but she did not have the skills, while the practitioner I thought could design and set up the site did not seem interested and appeared that she did not want to help. I needed to cultivate diligently. A conflict arose, where the site the first practitioner developed had problems and we couldn't use it. We had to wait for the site developed by US practitioners to come online.
Being a coordinator, and behaving like one, is cultivation. I needed to find myself and follow Master's directives, despite my limitations. But I did not always find practitioners willing to work on what the site needed. Many had other goals and wanted to validate themselves. Others did not consider themselves part of the project, as they were volunteers. They wanted to do whatever came to their mind and whenever they had the time. With volunteers like these, the website would never be stable.
Some practitioners worked for a while then eventually disappeared, leaving piles of work for the long-term members to review. Since they came and left without a commitment, it was not really an option to trust and rely on them.
I was not picky, and every practitioner who was ready to help was welcome. I understood that they were complacent and did a poor job when it came to the survival of the project. Accepting anyone who was not sincere about this project was not a good option. Part of the responsibility was mine, because I was not able to say no when they approached me.
I strengthened my determination to persevere, even without practitioners. To look inside is what Master asks of us, so I looked for my problems. I was not sufficiently qualified as a coordinator and my mistakes brought losses to the website. For example, when the 2018 magazine was developed, the reviewer just walked off the job halfway through, because she did not agree with the content. Work stopped and could never be completed.
My cultivation needed to be strengthened first. Thus, I decided to be firm and be a true coordinator. At that time, the main coordinator decided that everyone who participated in Minghui had to attend Fa study every week. This helped me greatly, as I finally was able to say “no” to unpredictable helpers whom I had already given too many chances.
Those that were flighty and untrustworthy didn't return to the project. Only the strong and solid members remained. They have their own limitations, just as I, but they focus on the project and its progress, as well as cultivate solidly. This site needs people the website can always count on.
We had to translate old articles in the beginning, as they were important in building the website. This was a lot of work, and I could not keep up with this work daily, as I was working on more than one issue.
The webmaster said, “Leave this work to me, I will take care of the site.” He followed the requirements of international coordination while I was going to meetings with the multilingual coordinators.
Master said,
“Now you can see why I've often told you to read the book more, right?! The Fa can break all attachments, the Fa can destroy all evil, the Fa can shatter all lies, and the Fa can strengthen righteous thoughts.” (“Drive Out Interference,” Essentials for Further Advancement II)
Returning to Minghui was difficult. I realized that my most fundamental attachment was loneliness. In fact, my true wish was that I wanted to find my own self and fulfillment. The feeling of loneliness and the fear were actually symptoms of my departure from the nature of the universe.
I became finally sure-footed in the coordination again because of “Minghui Radio.” This was a reason why more practitioners joined our team. The team was formed. And I finally found the cultivation support I needed in this project.
The Minghui team are good practitioners who trust Master and the Fa, as well as are serious in cultivating and improving themselves. For the first time, impossible missions have become possible.
Translating the China Fahui used to be difficult and improbable, but it is just as Master said: “...the appearance stems from the mind.” (“Fa Teaching Given at the Epoch Times Meeting,” Collected Fa Teachings, Vol. X).
We translated the 40 articles and more came from from Minghui Radio audios. All this was possible with our solid team members.
For a month-and-a-half I was in the process of looking for a home. When I found one, I was scared to pay the rent on a house. So, after translating a Minghui article “How Receiving Counterfeit Bills Helped Us Remove Our Attachment to Money”, it seemed that my attachment to the fear of losing money was burning along with the counterfeit money the practitioners burned.
I was without Internet due to tribulations that were not by chance. During this process I began to face difficulties with human notions, rooted in fear. Due to the process, my attachment to the fear of running out of money, having no home and no internet, was exposed. This was the attachment of comfort. I still wanted to live well and I was not validating the Fa with a pure heart. But, during the process my heart was purified.
My fear of losing money or material possessions was deep. I was unhappy.
Master said:
“A stable job also prevents a cultivator from being held up, due to problems of food and shelter or survival, in his cultivation, in his spreading the Fa without worries, or in his clarifying the truth and saving the world’s people. In every one of society’s professions a person can cultivate, and in each there are also people with predestined relationships waiting to obtain the Fa.” (“Dafa Is All-Encompassing,” Essentials for Further Advancement II)
Only then did I realize that the path set in my life gave me the basis to validate the Fa, and I was given the necessary skills. Everything I need is in my hands. I am confident that I have everything I need and what I do not have Master will provide.
I try today to balance the three things well by recording in a notebook the hours of daily practice, Fa study, sending righteous thoughts, and truth clarification. I want to assure that I diligently do all the three things well.
My true wish is being a Dafa disciple, who is worthy of that title. So finally, after a long period of willing to do it, I established a Fa study in my house. This will help me and help more practitioners to improve together.
But I still have many attachments I need to let go. I realize that I am strengthening my will to be determined and persistent, and to get rid of bad thoughts. My environment is turning from a difficult environment to a more dignified one. The work at Minghui is my priority.
Since the main Minghui coordinator has established the requirement of attending the Fa study group for all team members, the Portuguese project is now on more solid ground and the group is becoming one body.
Although I have made many mistakes that made me cry, I am able to recognize them and steel my will to do better from now on. My gratitude to the Master increases as my faith grows in myself, in Master and in Dafa.
(Presented at the Minghui’s 20th Anniversary Fa Conference-selected and edited)