(Minghui.org) Since I was very young, I often wondered what my life would be like after I left this world. Would I see this world as an outsider?
Did we have a soul? Where did our soul go after we died?
As I grew older, I started to notice that the major events in our lives, such as death, separation, or sickness, seemed to be controlled by something invisible. One cannot predict or control one's fate, and this notion saddened me.
However, my life was completely changed after I started practicing Falun Gong.
Life Without Illness
An acquaintance introduced Falun Gong to me in October 1994. I was happy to find out that I could be a good person by living according to the standards of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance.
I was troubled by the slipping of morality in society. Falun Gong, however, teaches me to distinguish right from wrong. I am also able to cultivate both my mind and body. How wonderful!
The first change was in my body, as I felt the spinning of Falun (law wheels) between my arms during the standing exercise and guanding (energy entering the top of my head) during the sitting meditation exercise.
I also experienced interference just like what Master Li (the founder) said in Zhuan Falun. As soon as I sat down to meditate, people living downstairs would start a loud game of cards.
The more my legs hurt when meditating, the more lively the party downstairs was. They were very quiet, however, when I was not meditating.
Growing up with heart problems, I was always excused from gym class and got sick often. I became healthier after I started to practice Falun Gong.
My chronic sinus infection went away, and I could finally get a good night's sleep. Additionally, my complaints such as headaches and eczema gradually went away.
Due to my cardiac issue, I did not plan to have children. But after I regained my health, I went through an uneventful pregnancy and gave birth to a beautiful baby.
Two years ago, I visited a sick relative at a hospital. As soon as I entered the building, the strong odor of disinfectant brought back my childhood memories, as I used to be a frequent patient many years ago.
I remembered the trips to different hospitals, the long lines, and the anxiety while waiting for test results. I have not been inside a hospital for many years and have forgotten what it felt like to be a patient.
Master gave me a healthy body, and I feel blessed that illness is not part of my life anymore. Practicing Falun Gong is great!
Happiness after “Letting Things Go”
Prior to practicing Falun Gong, my thoughts were occupied with how to receive more “kickbacks” and personal gain at work. From studying the Fa, I realized that what I had been doing was wrong.
I was exchanging my precious virtue for money. If I take what was meant for others, I will have to pay it back later, sometimes even more than I took.
So I decided not to take “kickbacks” anymore. I would do my best work without accepting any gratuities and told my team members not to count my “share” anymore.
At first, I worried that my coworkers might think of me as a strange person, but none of them questioned my decision. I look at loss and gain lightly at home as well.
My husband's parents were divorced and his father remarried. My father-in-law spent generously on his second wife and her son.
Relatives questioned this: “Your father spends all his money on his new wife's son, not his own son?”
I shrugged off the comment, as I was happy for my father-in-law, and he was happy with his second marriage.
My father-in-law promised his old apartment to us as an inheritance. Upon learning of his intention, his wife sold that apartment and took the money.
I would have been outraged if I were not a cultivator and fought for what's legally ours. From the Fa, however, I learned that what is meant to be mine will be mine, as fighting for things is meaningless. I simply let the matter go!
Many years later, I overheard that my step-mother-in-law's son divorced, and his wife took a large share of the family assets. My step-mother-in-law was very upset about losing so much money.
I realized that the analogy of “what goes around comes around” never fails. My step-mother-in-law took money from someone's child, and in turn, someone took money from her own child.
Once I let go of the burden of loss and gain, I became a more generous person, and the pressure to impress others was gone. Speaking the truth at all times set my heart free.
Telling lies is not worth the anxiety and fear of being exposed. Oftentimes, we would have to make up more lies to cover up the loophole.
All of these things weigh down our lives. I feel blessed that I now know how to live like an honest person.
Learning How to Forgive
I used to be an introverted, pessimistic person and was afraid of failure. My elder sister warned me to look for someone with an easy-going mother after I reached marriageable age.
We cannot predict our future. I now have two very difficult mothers-in-law.
I didn’t know how difficult it was to get along with my husband's birth mother until we lived together. She would not allow my husband to do any household chores.
If I asked my husband to get something from the kitchen, she would shout at me for not being a caring wife. She would also give me a scolding if I did not place the “best” dish in front of my husband at dinner time.
I honestly didn’t know which dishes were considered good in her eyes. Except for making her own bed and tidying up her personal belongings, my mother-in-law does not help with any other household chores.
I once bought a winter's worth of Chinese cabbages and had to carry them up the stairs to our apartment. It was too exhausting for me to get them all up the stairs in one go, so I sat at the bottom of the stairs to catch my breath.
My mother-in-law came home at that moment, and she stepped over the big pile of cabbages and went inside. Even a neighbor would have offered a hand!
After marriage, my role at home went from being served by my parents to serving my new family. I did all the household chores and took care of our young child.
If I was sad, I shed tears alone. The worst part was when our infant cried at night, my mother-in-law would kick open our bedroom door and yell at me for not being able to take care of the baby.
My husband would join his mother, calling me useless, saying that I deserved the scolding.
I had to sooth our screaming baby while listening to them spewing out hurtful words. During those times, I often had thoughts about jumping off a building to end my suffering.
I would not be able to endure this kind of abusive treatment without Master's constant support through the Fa! Whenever I felt lost in life's chaos, I would read Master's Fa, and my heart would calm down again.
I felt Master's warm gaze upon me, and his wishing me to stay strong. I shall hold on to the compassion inside of me and not seek revenge.
I must owe my husband's family something from past lives. It is better to pay everything off sooner than later; however, it is easier said than done.
After listening to my mother-in-law insult me and my birth family, I still had to put on a smile and serve her. Showing forbearance while listening to her stabbing words was not a small feat!
By enduring this test over and over again, the capacity of my heart expanded. My personality changed, and now I no longer like to complain and be hateful.
I finally understood the source of the hatred in me, as I would feel life was unjust when others did not treat me nicely. I never considered how I should unconditionally treat others kindly.
In thinking about how my mother-in-law spent her whole life arguing for dismal matters, not only did she not gain happiness, but she was also left with a lonely and bitter heart. I felt sorry for her.
Master led me to a healthy body and a pure heart. I am no longer trapped in the vicious cycle of hatred and revenge.
The world around me now seems precious and beautiful when nothing can provoke and anger me. I am blessed!
